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Self-compassion is the key to overcoming the Superwoman syndrome

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July is BIPOC (Bipoc, Indigenous and People of Color) Mental Health Awareness Month. While any day is an awesome time to concentrate on the unique challenges that impact the well-being of individuals of color, this is the time of 12 months when these conversations are led by people outside of those communities.

One of the themes for this 12 months’s celebrations is “supporting intergenerational conversations,” and when I believed of topics that would fit under that theme, I believed of the superwoman syndrome. According to experts, black women are hit hard by burnout and stress, but they’re less likely to have access to mental health care.

I’m someone who has unconsciously placed on an imaginary cape and, knowing that I’m more exhausted than not, I even have often pushed myself to be the best mother, the best wife, the best homemaker, the best editor, the best pastoral employee, and other time-consuming roles . I even have perpetuated this because in some ways it is all I even have seen as a toddler and in the messages I even have received online and in my every day life.

But it’s exhausting, each mentally and physically, to try to do every little thing for everybody else while still dedicating the little time I even have left to myself. This leads to stress, extreme fatigue, and ultimately burnout. If left unchecked, it starts a cycle I do know all too well. But focusing a lot on self-care can often be criticized in the event you’re someone who grew up in the church and heard the message that it’s more necessary to do things for others than for yourself. It’s also met with mixed reactions as a parent.

So where is the middle ground?

According to Danielle Coke Balfour, illustrator, social justice activist and founding father of lifestyle brand Oh Happy Dani, a technique to shed that suffocating cloak for good is to practice self-compassion. The idea of ​​self-compassion is at the heart of her latest work,

Self-compassion is the key to overcoming toxic superwoman syndrome
Rebecca Talbot

The book’s inspiring prompts are designed to eliminate the negative self-talk that makes busy black women feel like they’re not doing enough or that they need to appear as strong as possible even after they’re feeling broken. The workbook helps users find their current purpose, discover what brings them joy of their every day lives, and even create art to give themselves a moment to unleash pent-up creativity.

We spoke with Coke Balfour about what inspired her to write this handbook, why superwoman syndrome is so common, even amongst activists like her, and the power of practicing self-compassion to maintain peace of mind.

THE ESSENCE: What is behind the tendency of black women to play the superhero role and put themselves last, which negatively affects their psyche?

Danielle Coke Balfour: I imagine that the foundation of all of this is the “strong black woman” stereotype that has been around for generations. It fuels the concept that we’re by some means divinely able to withstanding greater pain, trauma, and disrespect, and that is why we’re treated that way. In order to survive, we have now had to dig deep inside ourselves and find the determination to keep going, for the good of our families and our collective well-being as a society.

We often hear conflicting comments. Some say that folks shouldn’t think a lot about themselves and concentrate on how to help others, but we also hear about the importance of self-care. Is self-compassion the solution? And if that’s the case, how can we practice it?

As a pastor’s daughter, I even have struggled with this message more times than I can count. In the book, I explore this tension as I consider how we live in a world where self-love is either demonized or the sum of our attention. The church often describes self-love as a mere distraction—an idolatrous concentrate on our own life and gain. Others take refuge in self-care, seeing it as the only necessity since it seems to offer a type of protection and insulation from the difficulties and attacks of the world.

To fully experience love, I imagine we’d like to discover a balance between healthy self-worth and caring for others. It’s giving of ourselves while also being attentive to when our cups are empty. It’s caring for ourselves while also taking the effort and time to be there for others. These two areas don’t compete; they complement and feed off one another, creating the obligatory balance for a lifetime of love and impact. We are worthy of the love we give. Self-compassion says that even in our love for others, it’s okay to select ourselves.

What inspired you to create?

was born out of an intense season of burnout and hopelessness. As a society, we were grappling with successive political unrest, humanitarian crises, a pandemic, and so many other issues, and I wanted to turn into cold and numb to the world around me in order that I wouldn’t still feel a lot pain. It was in the strategy of processing through art that I noticed that in these moments of devastation, the world needs warm, beating hearts of compassion, not cold hearts that turn away. When the tragedies of the world pierce our hearts like ice, it is our motion—our love in motion—that makes the difference: our voices, our prayers, our empathy, and so far more. seeks to be a companion and guide for many who want to discover how to use their unique gifts to show up and live lives of empathy, justice, and motion, while also caring for ourselves and being grateful for imperfection.

Self-compassion is the key to overcoming the toxic superwoman syndrome
Rebecca Talbot

Where did you get the following tips? Did you’re employed with mental health experts and therapists?

These prompts are less like an handbook and more like a set of illustrated, guided activities that anyone can explore. They mix engaging and interesting exercises, encouragement I’ve drawn from a few of my heroines, like Maya Angelou and Toni Morrison, and reflection questions inspired by contemporary injustices. Rather than providing an inventory of answers, the workbook allows readers to explore and discover their very own ways of perceiving and embodying values ​​like love, community, empathy, hope, redemption, justice, and more. Activities include creating art, discovering our unique gifts for change, exploring real-life scenarios of injustice, and fascinated by ways to be more kind and compassionate toward ourselves in an effort to positively impact the world around us.

As a social justice activist, how necessary is it to you to practice self-compassion?

Self-compassion is key to this work. Every day we see activists shutting one another down for making mistakes, burning out from maintaining a grueling pace, and giving up because they feel they’ve to be perfect. Self-compassion helps me understand that I’m not the end in myself on this work. There will all the time be more to do, and it can proceed with or without me, because I’m only one person. It is in recognizing that I cannot save the world that I free myself to concentrate on doing what I can, where I’m, with what I even have—and that may all the time be enough.

Give some examples of the way we could be higher to ourselves in our on a regular basis lives.

One of the best ways to show yourself more grace and empathy is to let go of perfectionism. Allowing yourself to be imperfect helps free yourself from the pressure to be strong and as a substitute gives you the grace to just… Another way is to relentlessly pursue what makes you come alive. By selecting joy, we decide resistance, hope, and strength of spirit, and we remind others that we’re free to be our full selves.

This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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Health and Wellness

Get post-election stress support from LeBron James, John Legend, Erykah Badu and more via meditation app

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Headspace, Clam, Exhale, meditation apps, Black meditation apps, theGrio.com

Falling into post-election existential fear? There’s an app for that. As many individuals proceed to grapple with the outcomes of the 2024 U.S. presidential election, the tools we use to de-stress, focus, and get back to a greater headspace are beginning to take hold.

Popular sleep and meditation app Headroom is offering post-election day specials, including a 14-day free trial.

The celebrity-endorsed wellness app features premium content that helps users rest, chill out and sleep. It also features an array of celebrity content and curated playlists from John Legend, Kevin Hart, Erykah Badu, and more.

“Hello, lovers,” Legend began promoting its content in the applying. “John Legend is coming with a special gift for you. I’ll allow you to sleep with me.

The music icon clarified that he meant virtually and only meant getting “regular sleep” through specially curated playlists, sleep recordings and videos.

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According to Hollywood reporterapart from emphasizing his free 14-day trial periodHeadspace offers free toolkit and an election season survival guide. The free trial period gives users full access to the app and its services, and after the designated time, membership costs $69.99 per 12 months or $12.99 monthly.

Headspace is not the only source where Black users can find content created by and for Black people. LeBron James, Idris Elba, Tabitha Brown and many more are helping calm people on Calm with their very own specialized content.

Thanks to James, Calm users can explore mindfulness manifestations and sleep stories. Elba also lends her voice to the narrative, and Brown invites users to decelerate together with her.

For Black people, especially Black women, in search of solace in an area designed specifically for them, a meditation and wellness app is offered Exhalewhich was created by a black woman with black women in mind.

This article was originally published on : thegrio.com
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Health and Wellness

This week’s best new music: Ella Mai, Mario, Eric Bellinger and more – Essence

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Happy Friday, people. As November rolls around, a few of the most talented artists within the industry are releasing great music. From hip-hop to the soulful sounds of R&B, you’ll need loads of options to get into the groove this weekend.

Ahead of the discharge of his upcoming album, Cordae has released a new single titled “Syrup Sandwiches” featuring Joey Bada$$. Additionally, Ella Mai released an EP this week, Ab-Soul unveiled his project, and Ice Cube tapped Killer Mike and Busta Rhymes for “Ego Maniacs.” Our roundup features music from Ferg, Eric Bellinger, Mario and more.

You can take a look at today’s list of new items below.

This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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Health and Wellness

10 tips to prepare for the next Trump presidency

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Now that Donald Trump has been elected president of the United States for a second time, a lot of the tens of millions who didn’t vote for him are searching for solace in the election results.

Journalist Daniel Hunter of Waging Nonviolence is victim 10 tips to help us prepare for and sustain the next Trump presidency. The guide emphasizes that to take effective motion, one must refrain from contributing to the autocrat’s talent for instilling fear, isolation, exhaustion, and confusion.

“Looking into an even more destabilized future is not easy. If you’re like me, you’re already tired,” Hunter says. “The prospect of greater drama is discouraging. But authoritarianism will not disappear regardless of the election results.”

Hunter has been busy throughout the election, preparing for the possibility of one other Trump presidency. From outlining potential scenarios, creating training and collaborating with colleagues experienced in autocratic regimes, he developed 10 tips on how to navigate the next Trump administration while maintaining inner peace.

(*10*) Hunter says, which is essential to not perpetuating “Trump’s goals of fear, isolation, exhaustion, or constant disorientation.”

1. Trust yourself

In the face of widespread social distrust – where many distrust the government, doctors, the media, and even family and friends – Hunter suggests starting by trusting yourself. It encourages you to listen to your inner voice and be mindful of how what you see, hear and feel affects your overall condition. By checking in together with your feelings and emotions, you possibly can put your phone down for a couple of hours, rest, or come to terms together with your fears.

Essentially, it’s “building up a defense against the ways in which madness can become internalized,” Hunter writes.

2. Connect with people you trust

Hunter points out that social isolation is the basis of fascism and dictatorship, urging readers to stay connected with like-minded groups who share similar values. Drawing on Hannah Arendt’s The Origins of Totalitarianism, she emphasizes that loneliness is a necessary ingredient of autocracy. To combat this, he encourages people to exit, engage in social groups, and find like-minded people. These connections help construct trust, allowing individuals to explore their very own pondering and support one another to stay sharp and grounded.

“We must consciously break this distance,” Hunter writes.

3. Allow yourself to be sad

Sadness is a human emotion that ought to be accepted, not limited. Hunter suggests that we start by detailing and allowing the feelings to emerge. He recalls staying up late with a friend after Trump’s victory in 2016 and just letting the emotions flow.

“Alternating between angry screams and tears. We became sad. We cried. We held each other. We breathed. We went back to naming all the bad things that we knew we had lost and the things that we thought we were probably going to lose,” he said.

Through this process, Hunter and his friend were able to higher mentally prepare themselves for what the next 4 years would bring. Instead of bottling up his emotions and continuously saying, “I can’t believe he’s doing this…” Hunter released his feelings on election night and started moving toward acceptance.

“Believe it. Believe it now. “Sadness is the path to this acceptance,” he writes.

4. Let go of what you possibly can’t control

There might be so many pressing issues during Trump’s presidency that accepting that we won’t take care of every thing might be a challenge, Hunter quotes.

“Trump’s first day likely includes pardoning the January 6 insurrectionists, reallocating money to construct the wall, withdrawing from the Paris Climate Agreement, and firing greater than 50,000 government staff to begin replacing them with loyalists. There is not any reason to imagine that the second day might be much calmer,” he writes.

To counter the chaos that always fuels autocracy, Hunter advises abandoning the belief that we’ve got to deal with every thing. While this may increasingly be difficult for natural activists, he warns that “the urge to act on every issue leads to poor strategy.” Instead of focusing solely on public insults or symbolic activities resembling rallies and protests, look for simpler ways to engage.

5. Discover your path

Referring to his book entitled scenarios on how a Trump presidency might unfold, Hunter outlines several paths of resistance to counter the coming chaos. One track, ‘Protecting People’, focuses on supporting those directly affected, resembling transgender people, abortion seekers and immigrants. Examples include creating committees to welcome immigrants, establishing funds to support abortion, or training volunteers in security skills to respond to white nationalist violence.

Other tracks include “Defending Civil Institutions,” where people unite to defend institutions whose mission is to protect civil rights, “Disruption and Disobedience,” where individuals intervene to stop bad policies or show resistance, and “Building Alternatives” to support for more democratic processes.

“Your path may be unclear right now. That’s okay. There will be many opportunities to join the resistance,” notes Hunter.

6. Refuse to conform upfront and avoid self-censorship

Hunter cites two major media publications that “cowardly” refused to endorse a politician as examples of self-censorship. Trump did not have to directly threaten these media outlets; their very own leaders instructed them to “wait it out,” Hunter notes.

“If autocrats can teach us anything, it is this: political space you don’t use, you lose,” he writes.

Recognizing that we’ve got the power to select when to speak up, Hunter urges those that care to “use the political space and voice you have.”

7. Redefine your political landscape

Hunter explains how a Trump presidency is changing political alignments and the potential impacts. It highlights the importance of taking a position to listen to and have interaction with individuals with different political or personal views to broaden our perspectives. It also encourages you to practice empathy and face the reality of who’s in power.

8. Face the reality of power

Taking to the streets in mass protests and not using a clear goal will only increase frustration, leading to disengagement and radical motion disconnected from any strategic plan.

“We will not stop him from doing these things merely by persuasive tactics or by showing that MANY of us are against it,” Hunter writes.

Using the inverted triangle as an influence evaluation tool, Hunter explains how strategically taking down Trump’s support pillars could also be simpler. Massive lack of cooperation puts people at greater risk and repression. However, it also shows the potential to achieve the form of liberatory government all of us truly deserve.

Hunter cited the Trump government shutdown in 2019 for instance, when flight attendants were preparing for a nationwide strike. That strike could have grounded planes across the country, disrupting a key transport network. Within hours of announcing “immediate mobilization” for the strike, Trump backed down.

“This tipping point of mass non-cooperation will create a mess. This means persuading many people to take enormous personal risks in exchange for a better option,” Hunter writes.

9. Manage fear and switch the violence against yourself

Managing fear just isn’t about suppressing it; it’s about continuously redirecting it. Referring to activist and mental Hardy Herriman’s research on political violence, Hunter explains that counterproductive political violence involves not being intimidated and standing up to these threats, which causes them to lose power.

Hunter uses the example of Bayard Rustin, who turned police threats of arrest in response to outdated anti-boycott laws right into a moment of courage. Rustin organized a gaggle of civil rights leaders who went to the police station and demanded an arrest, positioning themselves as leaders and turning the repression into a robust spectacle. Some leaders who aren’t on the police list have also publicly demanded his arrest. The defendants were met with applause from the crowd as they held their arrest papers aloft, turning the fear of arrest right into a moment of triumph.

10. Imagine a greater future

No matter who’s in office, there may be an entire world of beauty we are able to concentrate on as a substitute of marveling at the state of presidency and its impact on our country.

“On days when I don’t sense any of these political possibilities (more than none at all), I turn away from the lifespans of trees and rocks and toward spiritual reminders that nothing lasts forever,” Hunter writes.

“The whole future is uncertain. But with these things, we have a better chance of having a better future and experience in these turbulent times.”


This article was originally published on : www.blackenterprise.com
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