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Mamas at work: Melanie Fiona on coming to terms with not having the birthing experience she wanted

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For mothers like Melanie Fiona, the query: “How are you?” should not be taken flippantly. For those that really consider this thought, as an alternative of quickly responding with “I’m fine!” as is commonly the case in social conversations, it is a moment to really consider your needs.

“It really is the difference between getting over your feelings and testing yourself to be your best self,” he says.

So in answer to the query, Fiona truthfully admits that she has loads on her mind. She’s back on tour, hosting a podcast with Black Love Codie CEO Elaine Oliver, author Ashley Chea, and influencer Felicia La Tour. She is a businesswoman and a married mother of two children at very different points of their childhood. Many adjustments are obligatory.

“But I’m doing my best. And I think that’s what I stick to. It’s like, ‘give it your all and everything else will be fine,'” he says. “So I’m grateful that I’m healthy and I feel very blessed to be able to experience all of this at once.”

“How are you?” it is usually the most vital query that girls must ask themselves when preparing for motherhood. The most vital thing for expectant moms is to assess how they feel and know that they can be heard once they answer a matter. Since it’s Black Mothers’ Health Week, Fiona recalls the time when she was pregnant with her first child, now 8-year-old son Cameron, and after weighing in, she found that she had gained a major amount of weight in a brief period of time. Her birthing team didn’t take it very seriously at first.

“I used to be 11 kilos heavier. I remember the nurse said to me, “Oh, did you eat a lot on Thanksgiving?” And I said, what? The query got here up: well, why did I gain 11 kilos and would anyone care to discover what meaning?

She was tested for gestational diabetes, but the results were negative, and when the third trimester got here and went, “I was so swollen,” she recalled. “I gained over 80 pounds and no one seemed concerned about why my body was retaining so much water or reacting this way to the pregnancy.”

When she went into labor, hoping for a vaginal and natural birth, she was told she had developed preeclampsia. Her team began discussing an emergency caesarean section with the singer, and she admittedly was not prepared for this moment.

“I think the biggest supporters I had in the room were my doula, my husband and my best friend at the time. They all made me feel that you should surrender to what is best for the health and well-being of you and your baby,” she says. “And this one nurse stayed with me after her shift because she knew I was having a very hard time coming to terms with the idea that my labor and delivery would not go as planned.”

Finally, Fiona gave birth to a healthy baby boy. While she was grateful for this, she spoke openly about the disappointment of feeling cheated and deprived of the birthing experience she wanted. “I left feeling like there was this huge transformation, and I didn’t feel like I was participating at all because I was in surgery and I wasn’t holding on and pushing like I thought I would,” she says. “And so I was left with postpartum depression, which made me understand my experience and I had to deal with it on my own.”

While pregnant with her second child, daughter Kaia Love (now 2), Fiona did the whole lot she could to prepare for the birth she wanted, which included giving birth vaginally, although she had a C-section the first time. But there have been obstacles.

The recent doctor she was seeing told her that their practice did not support Fiona’s desire to have a vaginal birth after a cesarean section (or VBAC), so halfway through her second pregnancy she was left with the task of finding a brand new doctor. The next doctor she considered had a personality that did not match hers. Another believed that she could only be a candidate for his care if, based on statistics about the success rate of black women with VBAC treatment, she agreed to sign a contract stipulating that she would not last a certain variety of weeks.

With some help, especially from Kimberly Durden from Kindred Space in Los Angeles, Fiona was eventually referred to several black obstetrician-gynecologists. She selected a one that could come to her home for meetings and who was an awesome support and advocate for her. Unfortunately, the star’s VBAC hopes still fell through as she was told she had developed placenta previa, which is the placenta that grows above the cervix during the third trimester of pregnancy. Having a health care provider who helped her deal with her emotions and reassured her to undergo with it again and schedule a second cesarean section allowed Fiona to come to terms with the situation and emerge from it as a healthy mother with a healthy baby.

“I was absolutely devastated, but my doctor just helped me, not even just physically, but when she came to my next appointment, she literally took 45 minutes to sit down with me and let me cry about my disappointment,” she said.

This support made the difference. It also helped her develop a relationship with her doctor, which she treasures a few years after Kai Love gave birth.

“I still send her photos of my daughter and she checks me out,” says Fiona. “It made me realize I had two different experiences. Representing myself for the second time made me feel so far more supported that I used to be able to access resources and thus have the option to advocate for myself and create the experience I wanted, understanding that almost all women don’t achieve this. “

Mamas at work: Melanie Fiona on coming to terms with not having the birthing experience she wanted
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – APRIL 6: Melanie Fiona (R) attends the Netflix Ultimate Birthday Party inspiration event on NETFLIX on April 6, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo: Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Netflix)

She adds: “This is a huge problem because black women die at three times the rate of women from other racial groups. It really made me understand that we were dealing with a huge crisis and why it was so important to me to have a woman of color supporting me in the hospital.”

Fiona led talks on Black maternal health and its impact on women. She says black parents-to-be need the high level of support that was required of her as she prepared to give birth for the second time.

“It shouldn’t be like this, but unfortunately we have to do our due diligence because we have to be our biggest advocates. We don’t have a medical system to support us in this way. And so, unfortunately, we have to shop at the doctor’s. But the reality is that not everyone has the time and resources for this and that is the worst truth. It can be overwhelming, but I would encourage women and people giving birth even earlier; if you’re thinking about having kids, you listen to podcasts like , you do your research, you talk to your friends who have kids and you really start to think about all the factors related to the things that you would like to have and you start working on your feet of “OK, well let me look at some the resources available in my community to start educating myself on this when my time comes is very important,” she says.

“Or start it all as soon as you know you’re pregnant,” she adds. People think you may have to wait until week 12 or something like that. It’s like, no, if you happen to’re going to carry your baby throughout your pregnancy, you may have every right to advocate for yourself from the moment you concentrate on having a baby. We have to defend ourselves from the very starting.”

When she’s not educating and offering healing and community through her podcast, performing, caring for her children, or being a wife, Fiona finds ways to practice self-care. At the time of our conversation, she was just outside the gym, preparing for a workout. Other times he goes out to lunch with friends and doesn’t rush straight home. Most often, she just dresses and takes care of herself. “I create spaces and ways where I can focus on myself and my well-being,” she says.

“I think there are a lot of things we do as moms that make us feel guilty. And I struggled with this from the beginning. But one thing I really realize is that life, God willing, is long. How I show up for my kids when I’m there is also important. Equally important is that my children see me happy and pursuing my own happiness,” she says.

“You have to make time for yourself. “I don’t care if you’re at home and have to put your baby in front of you for 30 minutes so you can lie down on a pad, or if you can sit outside and take a deep breath,” she adds. . “I don’t care if you have to turn to your partner, hire help, or ask a friend, ‘Hey, can you watch my baby for an hour so I can go to a quick Pilates class?’ Sometimes we forget that we are worthy of asking for help with these things.”

Eight years after starting her journey into motherhood, Fiona now finds joy in helping other women deal with their very own struggles. When asked about the biggest lesson she’s learned as a mother and woman, she thinks back to her pregnancies and says the most vital thing is to give up.

“Surrendering to the idea that you can only control as much as you can. And then mercury retrogrades happen and you wonder why is this happening? Why would my child spill juice all over himself while we were running out of the house? You have to understand that there are some things that are beyond your control and these are the moments that really teach you to have grace and surrender to yourself.”

Fiona adds: “And that is what each pregnancies and births have taught me. When I got here back from labor and delivery with my son, my mantra was to quit because I had to quit on the whole lot. And so, once I became pregnant with my daughter, things took a distinct turn. Even though I did my due diligence, counseled, and went to doctors, considering I used to be prepared, life got here. But if I hadn’t learned the lesson of give up during my first visit, I do not think I’d have made it through the second stage of pregnancy and labor as easily. So give up has been my biggest lesson and helps me stay calm in the chaos.

This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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Health and Wellness

How to love family members with whom you disagree this holiday season

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British Barron

Thanksgiving is just a couple of days away and Christmas is approaching. While the vacations are frequently rooted in love, family and togetherness, they may also be a trying time as differences of opinion could cause discord, especially after a vital election season. However, with healthy communication, understanding and lively listening, even essentially the most demanding conversations might be conducted with dignity and respect. Brit Barron, motivational speaker, teacher and storyteller, is here to help us have these difficult conversations while holding on to our deepest beliefs while maintaining our relationships with those we love. In his recently published book titled

Barron draws readers into the strain between relationship and responsibility, highlighting how we navigate relationships with people we love and with whom we disagree. By sharing painful experiences from her own life, reminiscent of her parents’ divorce and belonging to a faith community that sides with forces that dehumanize BIPOC and LGBTQ+ people, she sheds light on the challenges and hopes of those relationships, showing that the most effective research points to humility, self-awareness, openness to learn and do not forget that others can learn too.

Barron and I talked about safely dealing with feelings of disappointment and frustration with people we love but with whom we disagree. Read more of our conversation below.

ESSENCE: So why did you create this book and what was your intention?

Brit Barron: I began working on this project in 2021, and one in every of the questions driving it was: what’s on the opposite side of cancel culture? I saw a world where we were encouraged to cut off anyone who disagreed with us, and I didn’t think that was the easiest way to move forward together.

How can we still love the problematic people in our lives while still having boundaries?

The most significant thing we will do to help us stay in relationships is to reject binary pondering, the concept there are black and white outcomes. You might be completely on one side of the road, and someone can eventually be on the opposite, which is a reminder that multiple thing might be accurate at the identical time. And if we will keep it to ourselves initially, then we will keep it for the people in our lives. The second most significant thing we will do is to reactivate empathy, first for ourselves. If we will empathize with the various versions of ourselves that we’ve got experienced, it’ll be good to have empathy for the people around us.

When should we cut off family members? Or should we ever resort to this?

Yes, so in fact there are occasions after we don’t need contact. There are times when the extent of disrespect, abuse, or toxic environment causes us to do this. And I trust people will find a way to know that. I actually have family members that I actually have connected with. I actually have friends who’ve done this, and it’s hard to do something that we must always approach with plenty of intention, but there is certainly a spot for it.

When it comes to being black women, we feel a certain level of guilt when having difficult conversations with our family members; as we talked recently, we actually feel like we’ve got the burden of responsibility to keep our family together in any respect costs.

We feel this greater than other people and other people in our families, and it reminds us that our work is most significant to ourselves. Therefore, our boundaries, empathy, kindness and every thing we give should come first. When we will empathize with other people, we realize that we is probably not those to get them where they need to be. So, even for the people in my life that I not talk to, I still have hope that there can be someone of their life that they’ll hear from because I actually have recognized that it will not be me. I can let go of that responsibility while still helping with the deliverance which will come their way.

What framework do you provide in this book that will help us have difficult conversations?

Removing binary pondering, empathy, and establishing healthy boundaries are critical, mandatory, and spark curiosity. Let’s assume you don’t need to have these conversations. In that case, I believe being on offense relatively than defensive, trying to set some boundaries ahead of time, to say, “Hey, I’m excited to be with everyone, but I don’t have it for political conversations.” ” And if this starts to occur, an apology will help.

We recently talked about how to feel comfortable with confrontation or direct communication. How necessary is this throughout the holidays spent with family?

It’s mandatory. Our ability to communicate directly, not be afraid of conflict and never be afraid of this stuff, but see them as tools that will help us get to where we’re going, is incredibly helpful. I believe especially as black women, sometimes we’ve got certain ideas about how we’d or won’t want things to come off, or ideas about most of these conversations or other people’s perceptions of them. Still, I spent plenty of time trying to reverse the truth that if something is difficult, it’s terrible. I do not think that is true anymore. The things I value most in life come to mind. They went through a difficult moment, a difficult conversation, an internal conflict, whatever it was. So sometimes after I feel like I actually have to be direct during a conversation, communicating is difficult. I remind myself that this does not imply it’s improper or improper.

How can we safely overcome feelings of disappointment and frustration with people we love but with whom we disagree?

We should allow ourselves to hold multiple truth at a time. So a lot of us, especially Black women, are well-versed in this in so some ways. Most of us understand this after we take into consideration our feelings about America, right? We hate it here. I actually have limitless criticisms of this place, but there are parts of it that I love, and it is not my job to resolve which one will win. The point is that each are true. So after we take a look at our family members after we went on vacation, we’ve got people we love who’ve been there for us, have memories, picked us up from school or helped us prepare for prom. We are deeply upset in the way in which they voted or what they said, and our job will not be to see either of them win; the thought is that each of those elements ought to be accurate and that this will shape the way in which we engage throughout the holidays.

This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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Health and Wellness

Is TikTok right? Does eating sea moss have health advantages?

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Sea moss is the newest “superfood” that influencers are raving about. They claim that sea moss products – often in gel form – have many health advantages. These include supporting brain and immune function or protecting against viruses and other microbes.

But do these health claims overlap? Let’s have a look.

What is sea moss?

Sea moss is made out of a kind of seaweed – particularly red algae – that grows in various places around the globe. There are three major species utilized in sea moss products:

  • (often known as Irish moss or carrageenan moss)

  • (seamoss or seabird nest)

  • (Irish moss or ogonori).

Some products also contain brown algae (commonly often known as bladderwrack, black wrack, rockweed, sea grape, bladderwrack, sea oak, cutweed, dye wrack, red wrack or wrack).

Most sea moss products are sold in gel form, which may be added to recipes, utilized in smoothies, frozen in ice cubes, or consumed by itself. The products are also available in the shape of capsules or you may buy them “raw” and use them to organize your individual gels at home.

Several kinds of red algae are utilized in commercially available sea moss products.
Nancy Ann Bowe/Shutterstock

What is the evidence?

Sea moss products have many potential health advantages, from supporting immunity, to promoting skin health and improving mood and focus, and way more.

But is there any evidence to support these claims?

Recent studies have reviewed the biological properties of the major sea moss species (, i).

They suggest that these species may have anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, anticancer, antidiabetic and probiotic properties.

However, the overwhelming majority of research related to , and – like all research on – comes from studies conducted in test tubes or using cell and animal models. We shouldn’t assume that the observed health effects will probably be the identical in humans.

In cell and animal studies, researchers typically administer algae within the laboratory and use specific extracts wealthy in bioactive compounds, fairly than commercially available sea moss products.

They also use very different – ​​often relatively larger – amounts in comparison with what someone would typically eat when eating sea moss products.

This implies that existing research cannot tell us in regards to the processes that occur within the human body when eating and digesting sea moss.

Sea moss may have similar effects on humans. However, to this point there could be very little evidence that individuals who eat sea moss will experience any of the claimed health advantages.

Nutritional value

Eating sea moss doesn’t replace the necessity to eat a balanced eating regimen that features a wide range of fruit and veggies.

and, like many seaweeds, they’re a wealthy source of nutrients corresponding to fatty acids, amino acids, vitamin C and minerals. These nutrients are also more likely to be present in sea moss, although some could also be lost during preparation of the product (for instance, soaking may reduce vitamin C content), and people who remain could also be present in relatively small amounts.

There are claims that sea moss could also be harmful to people affected by thyroid problems. This refers back to the relationship between thyroid function and iodine. The algae used to supply sea moss are a major source of iodine, and excessive iodine intake may contribute to thyroid problems, especially in individuals with pre-existing conditions. That’s why these products often contain caveats related to iodine sensitivity or thyroid health.

Is it value it?

So you could be wondering if sea moss is value trying. Here are some things to contemplate before you choose whether to begin adding sea moss to your smoothies.

A 375ml jar costs around A$25-30 and can last for around seven to 10 days for those who follow the really helpful dose of two tablespoons a day. This makes it a comparatively expensive source of nutrients.

Two glass jars filled with dark pink gel.
Sea moss is often sold in gel form that may be eaten on the kitchen table.
April Sims/Shutterstock

There is sea moss often overrated since it comprises 92 different minerals. Although there could also be 92 minerals present, the quantity of minerals in algae will probably be differ depending on the place of cultivation and conditions.

The efficiency with which algae minerals may be absorbed and utilized by the body also varies between minerals. For example, sodium absorbs wellalthough only about 50% iodine is absorbed.

But sea moss does it has also been shown to contain lead, mercury and other heavy metals – in addition to radioactive elements (corresponding to radon) that may be harmful to humans. Seaweed is understood for its properties ability to build up minerals from their environment, whether helpful or harmful to human nutrition. Remember that more doesn’t at all times mean higher.

What else do I eat?

While you will not discover a full dietary breakdown on the jar, it is usually sensible to examine what other ingredients you could be consuming. Sea moss products may contain plenty of other ingredients corresponding to lime, monk fruit powder, spirulina and ginger, amongst others.

These ingredients vary by brand and product, so pay attention to your needs and at all times check.

Despite health claims, most sea moss products also contain disclaimers indicating that these products aren’t intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

If you have any concerns about your health, at all times seek the advice of a healthcare skilled for accurate and personalized medical advice.

This article was originally published on : theconversation.com
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Health and Wellness

Telling Our Stories: How StoryCorps and the Jordan Brand Will Amplify Black Voices with the Brightness in Black Initiative – Essence

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StorCorps

StoryCorpsa national nonprofit organization dedicated to elevating the voices of on a regular basis people has launched a groundbreaking latest initiative, “Brightness in Black.” This three-yr project, in partnership with Michael Jordan and Jordan Brand’s Black Community Commitment, goals to spotlight Black stories in a way that shifts the narrative and celebrates the joy and diverse richness of Black life.

To dig deeper into this multi-yr initiative, ESSENCE sat down StoryCorps CEO Sandra Clark. She emphasized that Brightness in Black goes beyond traditional storytelling and seeks to alter the way black stories are told and received. Launched in September, the project launched in Philadelphia and Atlanta – two cities deeply rooted in black culture and history.

Clark began by emphasizing that Light in the Black is rooted in StoryCorps’ core mission – empowering people to inform their very own stories in their very own voices. “StoryCorps has traveled across the country over the last 20 years, collecting stories from everyday people. And what we know about these stories is that when people can tell their own stories in their own voices about what is most important to them… they become a legacy,” Clark said. “These stories combined together constitute the true history of America.”

As Clark explained, this initiative will not be nearly documenting experiences; it’s about addressing oversimplified and often negative narratives about Black life. “Our stories are often oversimplified. The narratives about our lives are often very limited,” she said, reflecting on how Black communities are typically portrayed in the media. Brightness in Black is a probability to flip the script – to give attention to the nuances, joys and aspirations that are not all the time at the focus.

Brightness in Black officially premiered in Philadelphia and Atlanta in September, and Clark explained that the alternative wasn’t nearly demographics; it was about history, community strength and local partnerships. “These cities have such a rich Black history, and the people here are no strangers to working to change the narrative,” Clark said.

Telling Our Stories: How StoryCorps and the Jordan Brand will amplify Black voices through the Brightness in Black initiative

StoryCorps doesn’t just parachute in and ask people to inform their stories. Clark explained that the project relies heavily on collaboration with community organizations, creators and educators in these cities. “We work with local partners — organizations and educators who have been doing this work for a long time. They understand the power of storytelling and the importance of capturing the full scope of Black life,” she said.

Through partnerships with HBCUs, community organizations and local creators, Brightness in Black will launch with storytelling events, recording sessions and workshops designed to have interaction each individuals and larger communities. “It’s not just about coming in, recording a story and leaving,” Clark explained. “We are creating connections by working with local leaders to ensure this initiative is deeply rooted in communities.”

One of the key pillars of the initiative is changing the typical narrative specializing in combat. Clark said that while difficult elements of the Black experience can’t be ignored, there may be also way more that needs attention.

“We as Black people are used to telling our stories, starting with trauma, hardship and hardship. And while these experiences are certainly part of our lives, there is much more to our story. Brightness in Black gives us a space to talk about our dreams, aspirations and the joys of everyday life. We want to focus on the greatness of Black life in all its forms,” Clark said.

Telling Our Stories: How StoryCorps and the Jordan Brand will amplify Black voices through the Brightness in Black initiative

The initiative includes in-person and virtual opportunities to share your stories through the StoryCorps app, community storytelling sessions, and StoryCorps Connect, which allows friends and family to record conversations from anywhere.

Black Joy and Black Fatherhood are examples of the stories Clark desires to amplify through this initiative. So what happens to all these powerful stories once they’re shared? The recordings collected during the three-yr initiative shall be archived at the Library of Congress, making these stories a part of the historical record. Additionally, the stories shall be shared widely – through radio, podcasts and local events that bring these narratives to life in their communities.

“Changing the narrative works best when everyone can hear the stories,” Clark said. “It’s not just about sharing our stories in Black communities – it’s about the wider world hearing these stories. This is how we change the perspective.”

Each city involved in Brightness in Black can have the opportunity to present these stories locally, allowing residents of Philadelphia, Atlanta and other future cities to listen to reflections on their very own community in a meaningful way. As “Brightness in Black” develops over the next three years, Clark is worked up about the project’s potential impact. “This is not just a collection of stories – it is a movement to change the way we view and value Black lives,” she said.

“We want to ensure that at the end of this initiative, we have created a lasting legacy that future generations can look back on and see the full picture of Black life in America.”

This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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