A couple of weeks before Justin Bieber and his wife Hailey announced in May 2024 that they were expecting a baby, the pop icon posted a selfie of he looks tearful and desperate.
While media attention quickly focused on the pregnancy, little attention was paid to the significance of the male star and the future father publicly shares his sensitivity.
But Bieber’s social media post is noteworthy since it highlights his internal conflict.
Emotional pain is linked to serious health problems. Yet the public’s response to male displays of emotion and vulnerability is commonly minimized, if not dismissed. In response to Bieber’s tearful post, for instance, Hailey described it as “pretty crybaby.”
A yr ago, Canadian rapper Dax released the song “Being a person.” He said at the time: “This is a song that I put my heart into. I pray that it reaches everyone who needs it.”
The message of this song remains to be relevant today. Contains song lyrics:
How researchers Who study fatherhood and the roles that men play their familieswe recognize the loneliness and pain in these lyrics. We heard fathers describe the cost of attempting to keep their feelings in check.
IN the last study we conducted for 75 latest and expectant black fathers, they spoke of the need to deal with individual and collective trauma. This, they said, will ultimately help support their families. But they said resources to assist men with mental health are sometimes unavailable or very limited. They said they often feel invisible to health care providers.
“Being a father and a man,” one participant said, “you have to keep the peace and be strong on the outside. But on the inside, you know, you’re falling apart.”
Dax’s writing and our research reflect a perennial societal health concern—the deafening silence that typically surrounds men’s mental health issues.
The impact of isolation on men
In May 2023, US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy issued a warning highlighting what he described as the epidemic of loneliness and isolation in the country. Our research confirms this plague.
Because men’s social support networks—colleagues, family, close childhood friends—are sometimes weaker than women’s, the epidemic disproportionately affects men. The resulting loneliness has very real health consequences.
Matthias Balk/picture alliance via Getty Images
In Murthy’s report, loneliness is related to negative health outcomes, including “a 29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia in older adults. In addition, a lack of social connections increases the risk of premature death by more than 60%.”
Although Murthy’s report focuses on each men and girls, research shows that it’s men are less likely than women to hunt mental health helpFurthermore, men have a more negative attitude towards searching for help and usually tend to discontinue treatment prematurely than women.
With these consequences in mind, a caring society might ask itself: Why do men bear the brunt of this health threat, and what will be done about it?
Redefining the value of men beyond just making a living
Many aspects can contribute to men feeling isolated and disconnected.
In “To Be A Man,” Dax points out one vital factor:
Traditional definitions of masculinity emphasize the importance of the man’s role as the family breadwinner.
Uncertain economy AND increasingly more expensive apartments and food prices make it unaffordable for a lot of men to offer financially for his or her families. These aspects also undermine men’s self-esteem and contribute to loneliness and feelings of alienation.
As partners and fathers, men are still often seen as inadequate in the event that they are unable to offer financially. And social norms emphasize that they are usually not valued for his or her abilities as caregivers, whilst they’re more involved in raising children than ever before.
This is detached from reality.
Men play a crucial role as caregivers of their children’s lives, in keeping with our research, and have a powerful influence on their children’s health and well-being. Men also find meaning of their role as fathers.
As Dax says:
The Cost of Suppressed Vulnerability
In addition to the pressure to offer for themselves, men must also overcome stereotypes that suggest they ought to be stoic and conceal their fears and sadness.
Here too, gender norms should be updated. Boys and men have to feel comfortable presenting their true, authentic selves to the world. When they suppress their vulnerability, it creates a barrier to searching for help. It also perpetuates stigma and the epidemic of loneliness.
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There is a fancy relationship between society’s assumptions and beliefs about men and fatherhood.
As a result, men are less likely than women to hunt mental health services. As a result, health care providers are they usually tend to underdiagnose and misdiagnose menFurthermore, when health resources are made available, they are sometimes not tailored to the needs of men.
Societal expectations can create unbearable pressure on men. And the most marginalized groups, as low-income black fathersbear a disproportionate burden, research shows. This has turn into more apparent during the COVID-19 pandemic, as Black fathers working in high-risk and essential jobs have prioritized supporting their children and families over their very own risks of infection and mental health.
As men proceed to redefine their roles inside families and communities, it is necessary for society to create an area that recognizes and accepts their vulnerability and full humanity in all social roles.
Men need an outlet for his or her pain. They would profit from relationships – with partners, family and friends – who support and nurture them in moments of joy and emotional challenges. Their loneliness will proceed to be disproportionate without the obligatory connection to services.
Men may consider participating in low-stakes discussion groups of their communities, online groups, and at their churches. They may additionally hunt down therapists in person or online for introductory sessions test the therapeutic interaction before establishing a more consistent pattern of therapeutic services.
In the song “To Be a Man” Dax sings:
As the Biebers adjust to life as parents, Justin can find people to talk over with about his experiences and emotions, individuals who see and appreciate him fully. And we hope that is the same for each man and father, living out of the highlight and doing the best they’ll for themselves and their family.
