Black men are speaking out about the silent stigma of infertility

Jared Wright (36) from New York remembers perfectly the moment he received the news that modified his life. He remembers the doctor coming in, taking off his hat and saying, “I’m sorry, you’ve been diagnosed with non-obstructive azoospermia.” Recalling it, Wright says, “I felt like someone had died.”

Infertility is diagnosed when conception doesn’t occur after a yr or more of unprotected intercourse. The cause is normally poor semen quality – azoospermia. This manifests as a low sperm count, little or no sperm in the ejaculate, or the inability of the sperm to maneuver easily to fertilize the egg. Blockages may also prevent sperm from being delivered. “If you’ve had a really bad testicular infection, it can cause scarring on the tubes that carry sperm from the testicle to the ejaculate,” says Ronald Anglade, M.D., an Atlanta urologist. Age may be a vital factor.

A 2013 report titled “Infertility and Impaired Fertility in the United States,” which followed men from 2006 to 2010, found that about 9 percent of men of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility, and one-third of infertile couples experience difficulty is is attributable to the masculine side. Black men have the highest infertility rate at 13.2 percent, with Hispanic and Asian men having an infertility rate of 12.8 percent and white men having an infertility rate of 11 percent. Only 1 percent of men in search of infertility treatment were black.

When it involves the ability to procreate, some Black men imagine it’s tied to their identity. “We live in a society with a very narrow conceptualization of masculinity and masculinity,” says Darren D. Moore, Ph.D., LMFT, clinical professor and associate director of clinical training and supervision in the Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy program at the Family Institute, Northwestern University . “Especially in the Black community, a man is someone who can generate income and have children. A person’s ability to produce is related to his perceived power. Therefore, if he has fertility problems, he is often ridiculed and sometimes his masculinity is questioned.”

Solving the stigma problem

This way of considering about the nature of masculinity is so pervasive that partners are often mechanically blamed when the inability to conceive occurs. Brandon Johnson of Virginia, 43, now a black infertility therapist, recalls that because of this assumption, his wife was offered egg donation. The desire to guard her and take away the stigma of infertility prompted him to openly talk about the diagnosis he received at the age of 32. “At the time, I thought I wasn’t a man anymore,” Johnson admits.

For family physician Carl E. Lambert Jr. from Chicago, his own infertility diagnosis was a “come to Jesus moment.” Lambert, 38, and his wife didn’t get pregnant after nearly a yr of trying, and he was initially reluctant to undergo an evaluation. “There was a bit of denial there,” he says. “And I think for a lot of guys that might be their first reaction.” When he finally got to the doctor, he found out he had a low sperm count.

The diagnosis of infertility evokes great emotions. “We go through stages of grief and loss because you lose a valuable part of yourself,” Johnson explains. He says it is important for men to permit themselves to work through the anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance related to grief, understanding that they’ll move backwards and forwards through these processes.

Help is offered

“If you’re having trouble having a baby after a year or two of trying, don’t try for five, six and seven years without evaluation,” says Anglade. After the initial semen evaluation, the urologist will inform you about the available options. If sperm count is low, clomid and/or HCG could also be prescribed to extend testosterone and sperm production. If sperm are present in semen or require collection from the testicles, intrauterine insemination (IUI) could also be the first advice. If this does not work, your doctor may recommend in vitro fertilization (IVF).

Lambert was evaluated a yr after failing to conceive together with his wife. The couple was finally in a position to welcome a baby due to in vitro fertilization. Without help, they’d a second child. Wright underwent surgery for scrotal varicose veins to correct his condition. He has since tried to gather sperm for rounds of IVF, but up to now no transfer has been successful. He and his wife plan to proceed trying with the remaining healthy embryos.

Although assisted reproductive treatment may be very expensive, Wright credits his medical insurance plan as a New York State worker with having the ability to afford it. However, he still pays between $200 and $250 for a semen evaluation. As of May 2023, 21 states have adopted latest fertility insurance laws and 13 have introduced fertility preservation laws for medically induced fertility. Resolve, the national fertility association, is a preferred resource for information about medical insurance options and other support services.

Going forward

“I had to consider whether it was more important to have a child come out of my loins or to be a father, and more than anything, I wanted to be a father,” Johnson says. “So we started looking for different ways to have children.” After quite a few failed IUI attempts, Johnson and his wife adopted a baby.

Trying against all odds to make your parental dreams come true, he recommends contacting yourself again. This includes finding a hobby that sparks joy or releases pent-up pain. “Anger builds tension that accumulates in the body,” he says. “Physical activity will help release them.”

Anglade agrees that consistent exercise and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, including being drug-free, is very important for men who are able to have children. “You want to stay active; You don’t want to be obese – maintain a good weight,” he says. “Smoking is a big risk factor for infertility, so don’t use nicotine or marijuana.”

The most significant thing, in line with Moore, is for men to have the opportunity to teach themselves and others. “We need safe spaces to learn about infertility and to process our personal experiences,” she says. “We also need support as we deconstruct our identity, trying to reconstruct it in a way that does not allow fertility status to determine one’s masculinity.” Johnson agrees that is key – he now not lets his diagnosis influence how he sees himself. “As a person, you are more than just your infertility,” she says. “Your infertility is a part of you, but it doesn’t have to depress you.”