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A therapist on how to survive the holiday season on your own

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An vital purpose of the holidays is the opportunity to spend time with family and family members. And even though it sounds beautiful, the holidays don’t look the same for everybody and don’t evoke the same emotions. Depending on the circumstances, this season can bring up loads of emotions that may have a negative impact on your mental health.

According to USmany individuals have difficulties during the holidays. A 2021 study found that 3 in 5 people in the U.S. consider this time of yr has a negative impact on their mental health. Although the causes may vary, people can feel anxious, sad and lonely during a time that must be crammed with joy. With so many aspects that may lower our mood slightly than improve it, it is important to concentrate to what could also be triggering these feelings and find ways to take care of them. Licensed therapist and founder Wellness Club for Mothers MomologyAna’Neicia Williams, DSW, LCSW, understands how difficult the holiday season could be for people.

“There are three themes that come up around the holidays. There is sadness, boundaries and traditions. “Whether people are empty nesters, a loved one has died, or you’re feeling the pressure of the ‘matching pajamas’ you see on social media, people are starting to over-analyze their own situation, which can cause anxiety and stress,” Williams says.

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And doing it alone can exacerbate these feelings. Many people will undergo Thanksgiving and Christmas alone due to loss, because their circumstances have modified, or because they usually are not romantically involved. Williams shares what she believes is her best advice on how to take care of these scenarios in order that this time of yr is fun, not hard.

Family matters

Quincy Black*, Chicago-based lifestyle blogger and founder Traveling with Quincyknows what it’s like to have traditions at home. But once her son left the nest, the holidays began to look different. As a girl in her 40s, Black hopes to strengthen her relationship along with her now adult son and find recent ways to enjoy the season.

“At first I felt guilt and shame about the holidays. Just when I thought I was doing everything right, I learned from my son that I had imposed these expectations on him. He stopped talking to me after the first year when he moved. I also helped raise my brother’s children and nieces and cultivated other parental relationships that I didn’t have with my own child. So I had to work on it during therapy,” she says. “This time last year, I was on holiday with my youngest niece and had barely spoken to my son. Fortunately, I have a better relationship with him.”

She adds: “Since I’ve been home alone, I’ve been focusing on enjoying new hobbies and doing more self-care activities to help me ease the anxiety and feeling of being childless over the holiday season.”

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Williams recommends that vacant nesters like Black acknowledge that they feel sad. When you concentrate on children who’ve moved, they could create their own traditions with family, friends or a possible romantic partner. Parents can use this as a possibility to create an open invitation for his or her children to spend time at home during the holidays. Or, like Black, they could prioritize trying recent hobbies which will ultimately create a brand new tradition they love.

“If we wish to go further, if you will have experienced a divorce and there are kids involved, that can be a bit difficult. It’s about solving problems and at the same time learning to coexist together,” Williams says. “You may not be in the home where you raised your children. The main goal is to provide parents with childcare at the center. Therefore, communication is really important and in line with the ultimate goal. It’s about redefining what family looks like for everyone.”

Lonely and searching

Briannon Kelley, a Los Angeles PR skilled who has enjoyed a successful profession, remembers what could be missing during the holiday season. While being single is not a foul thing, growing up in a family that values ​​marriage could make anyone feel concerned about their relationship status during this time.

“This holiday season shall be the first time shortly that I’ll see my whole family in a single place! I turned 30 in October and I’m looking forward to talking about love and family,” she says. “My parents have been married for over 40 years. I’m the youngest of 5 siblings, and all 4 of my siblings are married. The holidays bring up loads of emotions and hopes for what would occur if and what could occur.

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It also doesn’t help that her family members are asking her about her relationship status, or lack thereof, as Thanksgiving and Christmas approach.

“I often get asked questions like, ‘Are you bringing someone home?’ or “No suitors in Los Angeles?” “The pressure to perform and live up to expectations has all the time been an element of my life, and these days I’ve noticed it creeping into my approach to my love life,” notes Kelly. “Even though I have worked hard to achieve success in many areas – career, personal development and self-discovery – love is the one aspect of my life that feels incomplete.”

He adds: “My parents set a beautiful example of what a fruitful and lasting relationship should look like. I saw their love reflected in my siblings’ marriages and even in the strength my two siblings found after their divorce. So I pray for you to build a love that will stand the test of time and leave a legacy for future generations. That’s why every year I can’t decide which holiday to go home for, knowing that my choice has not only logistical but also emotional significance. I want to show my family how much they mean to me and I hope that who I have become and what I have achieved will make them proud of me.”

As the pressure to be in a romantic relationship increases during the holiday season, Williams advises singles to step back and ask themselves in the event that they really need to be in a relationship or if they simply feel like they must be in a single. “So you’re feeling pressured to have a romantic relationship because you will have this end game where you would like to be in a relationship. But possibly it is not even your reality and what you would like, but you’ve got been conditioned to consider it,” Williams explains.

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If you’re thinking that you would like a relationship and are still dating, you possibly can rely on companionship during the holidays until you discover a partner. Williams knows that many friends create space for themselves during Friends Day events or decorate their homes for Christmas. So it’s helpful to connect with your community to help take care of feelings of isolation or abandonment.

Coping with loss

Venise Blow, a 33-year-old Chicago resident, has been getting used to experiencing the holiday season on her own for several years now. After losing each of her parents, she finds recent ways to enjoy this time of yr, including connecting along with her clan.

“I think this is an experience that a lot of people go through or eventually will go through,” Blow says. “Growing up, I never would have thought that by the time I was 30, I wouldn’t have either of my parents. Sadness comes in waves before and after the holidays. But I think, especially as the holidays approach, you start to mourn the life and experiences you thought you would have.”

She continues: “I was very close to my mother’s side of the family. And now that I’m older, I feel like they’ve faded into the background. I don’t think it was intentional. I think because I’m an adult, they think, “Oh, she understood.” She’s good. So it can be a bit isolating unless you’re intentional about your connections. I want to say that over the last five years I have really gravitated towards the family and friends I have chosen.”

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Williams counsels those that experience loss and encourages them to give themselves grace. There isn’t any deadline to come to terms with loss. But if you’re ready to accept a vacation without your loved one, there are little things you possibly can do to make it a bit easier.

“When we now have relatives or people who find themselves now not on this earth, you will have moments where you look down at the table and keep in mind that person isn’t any longer here. So it’s helpful for people to work out how they need to remember these people. Are you making a recent tradition? Or possibly you decorate the Christmas tree with royalty decorations? Either way, don’t rush into this sadness. It could also be a yr or 15 years after the loss and the loss should affect someone. When you are ready, go for things that can make you’re feeling higher, says Williams.

How to prepare

If you would like to prepare for these intense feelings, Williams encourages people to ask self-reflective questions. Based on your answers, you’ll gain more clarity on how it is best to approach what must be a time of joy.

“I encourage you to ceaselessly journal with individuals. But some people do not like writing, so I counsel you to use voice notes on your phone too, where you possibly can record yourself. The first query is: what feelings do the holidays make me feel? The second query is: where do I feel them in my body? If we are able to evaluate ourselves and acknowledge what is going on on, I believe that is the first step,” Williams says. “The third query is: What am I trying to portray to others about myself during the holidays? This goes back to social media and the judgment that sometimes comes into this comparison.

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He adds: “The last question we can ask ourselves is: what do I imagine for the holidays? You can say, “I want to experience joy.” I want to be focused around people, or maybe I want to have peace, and for me the holidays are a time of isolation and loneliness. Really imagine the holiday season and what you want for yourself without the expectations of what others may place on you. Reflecting and understanding our sense of self can help us choose what we want to see on our vacation.”

This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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Health and Wellness

New research shows that over 3,000 beauty and hair products sold to black women are toxic. Did your tested and highways make a cut?

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If you are fascinated by referring the range of products on the shelf in the lavatory, you may start by throwing the entire.

AND New study By Environmental work group (EEC) In cooperation with the founded black, completely natural online market BLK + GRN Over 3000, or almost 80%, were found, personal hygiene items sold to black women contain at the very least one toxic ingredient.

“I think most people believe that if something has reached the store, they must be safe. It’s just not true – said the founder of BLK + GRN, Kristian Edwards In the last film About the report.

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“Everyone deserves access to safe products,” wrote Friedman. “The purpose of the report was to equip consumers with knowledge about chemicals in their personal hygiene products.”

Friedman emphasized among the most harmful product components, including the discharge of formaldehyde, isotiazolinone and an undisclosed smell. Explained that preservatives releasing formaldehyde may cause skin reactions and ultimately expose consumers to formaldehyde, a carcinogen. Meanwhile, Friedman noticed that undisclosed fragrances might be any of the 300 different potentially dangerous ingredients with cancer and reproductive health problems. Half -lasting products The results, comparable to relaxors and hair dyeing, are not very disturbing.

After the primary have a look at ListMany consumers can hurry to throw away all their potentially causing cancer shelf. However, Edwards noticed within the film that this list was not intended to cause “fear”.

Understanding this suggested compromise. If there may be a high-level product, with which you absolutely cannot part-nutrition with the outcomes that you have got taken years, or sunscreen that softened your gearbox-to threaten something different with a high level, from which your routine is less dependent.

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“Black women are often between a stone and a difficult place,” Edwards continued. “To adapt, they must use these products with all these toxic ingredients in them.”

The Skin Deep Database EEC launched in 2004 takes labor in the method for consumers. The online resource includes dozens of products assessed on the idea of their ingredients, safety and regulatory information.

The latest study, published in February, is an update of the 2016 EEC study, which was checked whether there was a significant change in toxicity of products with specific demographic markings. In 2016, the report was analyzed by just over 1000 products. Despite finding almost 80% of products sold to black women, it still incorporates at the very least one toxic ingredient, Friedman confirmed that there was some improvement in almost a decade; However, toxicity persists.

The report also appears as one other related to black personal care, it’s headers. Last month, Consumer reports He stated that the ten hottest synthetic hair brands contain toxic chemicals.

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Friedman claims that the trail forward should “prioritize further research, better safety standards and increased transparency from producers, ultimately supporting the market in which black women can confidently choose products without an additional burden on the disorientation of exposure and health results.”

It was visible for Halle Berry when she saw Adrien Brody on the Red Oscars carpet

(Tagstranslate) black hair products

This article was originally published on : thegrio.com
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Gabourey Sidibe says that her husband, Brandon Frankel, is not playing about her

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Gabourey Sidibe says that her husband, Brandon Frankel, is not playing about her

Gabourey Sidibe/Instagram

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One of our favourite twin moms, actress Gabourey Sidibe makes everyone faint. Talking to the Essence Black Women in Hollywood awards, Sidibe explained that her husband Brandon Frankel had her back. Talent agent often loves the actress and their children loudly through his website on Instagram.

When the reporter said Frankel was not “playing”, she confirmed the saying: “He doesn’t, and I deserve everything, okay?! Come here now. If you step on my dress, he’ll be here. “

The actress continued: “As if she was in Waśnia with many things,” she continued. “I have to think that someone gave me an attitude because he replies them forever.”

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The couple got engaged and got married in 2020 after the meeting Raya dating application – the identical platform Simone Biles and Jonathan Owens met. In April 2024, they welcomed their twin girls and boys, Cooper and Maya, to the world.

Sidibe continued: “He will be beef with my grandmother about me. And I deserve it. And I love him so much, and I also with many people for him. “The priceless actress confessed that she did not think that their relationship passed the primary few dates during a conversation with people.

“Our first date, literally for the first six dates, when we left, I would say:” Okay, say goodbye without end, “she said. “I never intended to see him again. And now he is at home. “

“When you talk about radical love, I realize – and it sounds selfish – but I noticed that I like who I used to be after I was with him. I liked the ways during which I could develop due to loving him and being loved by him – continued Sidibe.

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“I didn’t know that the person I was today existed. And it only exists because of how much he loves me – she added. “Is it not crazy? 10 years ago I might hit the face. “

“My husband is a guy, only this guy,” she concluded. Frankel celebrated his Queen Post awards with a funny and charming post on Instagram, recognizing the role of his wife as a working mother.

“So @GabBYSIDIBE I was caught on Brunch Essence, so when she returned home from being a very important working woman, I had to take her photos in my mother’s mode. This series is a great example of an attempt to get two very excited young children to behave on a photo 🤣 ” – read his signature. Talent agent has published a series of photos of the actress holding the twins and mainly mommy.

“Anyway, how wonderful my wife is? He can go out and do her, return home and immediately back to my mother. So grateful for three, you illuminate my whole world so bright ❤️❤️❤️ “, the signature has ended.

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This queen deserves every little bit of this radical love; We pray that all black women receive the identical.


This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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I am a medical forensic examiner. Here’s what people can expect from a health response from sexual assault

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Estimated one in five women and one in 16 men In Australia, she experienced sexual violence.

After such a traumatic experience, it’s comprehensible that many are usually not sure in the event that they wish to report it to the police. In fact, Less than 10% Australian women who experience sexual assault, if he gives a police report.

In Australia it’s No closing date After notifying the sexual assault to the police. However, there are strict time frames for collecting forensic evidence, which can sometimes be a very important a part of a police investigation, no matter whether it begins.

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This implies that the choice whether to undergo a medical forensic examination should be taken quite quickly after the assault.

I work as a medical forensic examiner. Here’s what you can expect for those who present a medical forensic examination after sexual assault.

A team of specialists

There are about 100 sexual assault services in Australia, providing 24-hour care. As with other healthcare areas, there are additional challenges in regional and rural areaswhere there are sometimes further distances from travel and deficiencies.

Sexual assault services in Australia are free, whatever the status of Medicare. To find the closest service, you can call 1800 respect (1800 737 732) or Full stop australia (1800 385 578) who can also provide immediate support for telephone counseling.

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It is very important to call the local sexual assault service before appearing. They can provide victims to experience information and advice to stop delay and make the method as helpful as possible.

Consultations often occur within the Hospital Emergency Department, which has a designated forensic apartment or within the Specialist Forensic Service.

The victim-over is seen by doctor or nurse Trained in the sphere of medical and criminal care. There is a sexual assault, crisis worker or social employee to support the patient and provides advice on advice. This known as “Integrated answer“With medical and psychosocial employees working together.

In most cases, the victim’s survival might also have the presence of his own support person.

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Depending on what the victim is wants, the doctor or nurse will take the history of the robbery to conduct any medical care which may be needed (e.g. emergency anticretation) and conduct the examination.

Sexual assault services are all the time very conscious dishes to victims of selection in the sphere of medical forensic examination. If a person presents a sexual assault service, he can receive advice and medical care without undergoing forensic examinations if he doesn’t wish to.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cglbtgia0ek

Sexual assault services include all sexes.

Collecting forensic samples

Samples collected during a medical forensic examination can sometimes discover the DNA of the perpetrator or intoxicants (alcohol or drugs that can be relevant to the examination). . Possibility window Collecting these samples can be as short as 12 hours or as much as 5-7 days, depending on the character of the sexual assault.

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In most Australia, an adult who has experienced a recent sexual assault, you can offer a medical forensic examination without submitting a report for the police.

Depending on the condition or territory of the forensic samples, you can often store for 3 to 12 months (as much as 100 years in Tasmania). This allows victims of time to survive definitely whether or not they wish to release them to the police for processing.

A health care provider or nurse will take samples using a sexual assault investigation kit or “rape set”.

Collecting these samples may include taking swabs to detect DNA from external and internal genital areas and wherever DNA transfer may occur. This may come from skin cells during which the perpetrator affected the victim’s snack or from body fluids, including sperm or saliva.

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A health care provider or nurse conducting the examination is minimized by re -traumatization, providing information, elections and control of the victim at every stage of the method.

The victim-overhang can often have a support person with him.
Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock

What about sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy?

During the consultation, the doctor or nurse will address all fears about sexually transmitted infections (sti) and pregnancy if concerned.

In most cases, the danger of sexually transmitted diseases is low. But check tests for 1-2 weeks by way of infection, reminiscent of chlamydia and gonorrhea, and after 6-12 weeks In the case of infections reminiscent of syphilis and HIV, it is normally advisable.

Emergency contraception can be provided (sometimes called “in the morning after a pill”) prevent pregnancy. It can be downloaded as much as five days after sexual assault (however the faster) with pregnancy tests advisable after 2-3 weeks.

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Everything has improved over time

When I was a younger doctor at the tip of the 90s, taking foreheads were often chargeable for an busy international trainee and gynecology on the Emergency Department, which regularly managed many patients and had a small training in the sphere of criminalistics. Usually there was no supporting advisor.

Anegdotically each the doctor and the patient were traumatic through this experience. Studies show that when specialized integrated services are usually not provided, a sense of powerlessness of the victim They are enlarged.

But the way in which we conduct medical forensic examinations after sexual assault in Australia has improved through the years.

Thanks to practices focused on the patient and the appointed criminal and advisory staff, the patient’s experience is believed Strengthening position than for re -traumatizing.

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A sign before the Australian police station.
Less than 10% of Australian women who experience sexual assault, in the event that they even submit a police report.
Melissa Meehan/AAP

Our research

In latest studies published in Australian Journal of General PracticeMy colleagues and I studied the experience of medical criminal examination from the angle of a victim.

We analyzed 291 patients who provide sexual assault services in New South Wales (where I work) for 4 years.

About 75% of patients said that the study was calming and one other 20% said it was high-quality. Only 2% said it was traumatic. Most (98%) stated that they’d recommend a friend present within the service of sexual assault in the event that they were in a similar situation.

While patients talked positively in regards to the care received, many commented that the sexual assault service was not visible enough. They didn’t know learn how to find it and even existed.

We know that many victims’ victims don’t present a sexual assault service or undergo a medical forensic examination after sexual assault. So we must do more to extend the visibility of those services.

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This article was originally published on : theconversation.com
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