It’s often said that there is a nice line between love and hate, but is it okay to sometimes hate your long-term partner? If you ask actress Jamie Lee Curtis, it’s practically needed.

When asked concerning the secret of her 40-year marriage to actor Christopher Guest, she recently replied that the important thing to success is patience, perseverance and “a really big dose of hate.”

“Suddenly you literally want to hate each other. And the next day it’s a nice, sunny day and the dog does something cute or your kid does something cute and you look at each other and go, ‘Oh my gosh,'” Curtis told “Entertainment Tonight” after accepting an Emmy for his role in “The Bear.” “And you’re on a different track.”

Relationship experts say it’s normal for couples to experience moments that feel like real hate. The difference between couples who survive and those that don’t is how they cope with their emotions in these moments.

“Hating the person you love is the most common thing in the world,” said Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist and writer of Am I Lying to Myself? How to overcome denial and see the reality. “We think we should love our partner all the time, unconditionally, but that’s not the case.”

Yes, you should “get rid of the little things”

Stereotypical annoyances like leaving the bathroom seat open or shoes littering the ground add up if left unaddressed, says Terri Orbuch, a professor of sociology at Oakland University and writer of “Five Simple Steps to Taking Your Marriage from Good to Great.”

To prevent pet anger from turning into an even bigger problem, it is vital to “worry about the little things,” said Orbuch, whose research has followed a whole lot of couples over 36 years.

“What starts as a small, irritating habit becomes, ‘You’re not listening to me. You don’t love me. Maybe we’re not compatible and I hate you,” she said.

But criticizing the issue within the moment is not the perfect approach, Orbuch said. Find time and situation to discuss it: away from the children, not right after work, right before you leave for the day, or when you’re drained in bed.

Be specific

Orbuch really useful starting the discussion with the positives after which using what she called an XYZ statement. For example, give examples that show that you know that is an overall great partner, equivalent to being an important friend or being good to your mother. Then do the next: When I do X (throw clothes on the ground) in Y situation (as an alternative of the trash can), I feel Z (frustrated).

Then ask, “Can we talk about this?”

Highlighting a selected behavior will help your spouse or partner deal with the issue higher than if you blame her or him for a personality flaw, equivalent to, “You’re a terrible slob.”

“We lock the person up where they don’t know what to say or what to change to alleviate the frustration,” Orbuch said.

When you can, highlight loving moments

Greer said an important way to quickly dissipate hateful moments is to construct a reservoir of positive emotions. Pay attention not only to the points of your partner that you adore, but also to why they make you feel good.

For example, if your partner gives you flowers, as an alternative of just thanking him, tell him how you felt when you received them. Saying you appreciate the flowers since it showed they listened to something you needed helps reinforce those positive emotions, she added.

“When you feel love, it’s important to name it,” Greer said. “It’s important to say, ‘You know what, I’m having a moment where I can love you.'”

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It’s often said that there is a tremendous line between love and hate, but is it okay to sometimes hate your long-term partner? If you ask actress Jamie Lee Curtis, it’s practically vital.

When asked concerning the secret of her 40-year marriage to actor Christopher Guest, she recently replied that the important thing to success is patience, perseverance and “a really big dose of hate.”

“Suddenly you literally want to hate each other. And the next day it’s a nice, sunny day and the dog does something cute or your kid does something cute and you look at each other and go, ‘Oh my gosh,'” Curtis told “Entertainment Tonight” after accepting an Emmy for his role in “The Bear.” “And you’re on a different track.”

Relationship experts say it’s normal for couples to experience moments that feel like real hate. The difference between couples who survive and those that don’t is how they take care of their emotions in these moments.

“Hating the person you love is the most common thing in the world,” said Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist and creator of Am I Lying to Myself? How to overcome denial and see the reality. “We think we should love our partner all the time, unconditionally, but that’s not the case.”

Yes, you should “get rid of the little things”

Stereotypical annoyances like leaving the bathroom seat open or shoes littering the ground add up if left unaddressed, says Terri Orbuch, a sociology professor at Oakland University and creator of “Five Simple Steps to Taking Your Marriage From Good to Great.”

To prevent pet anger from turning into an even bigger problem, it is vital to “worry about the little things,” said Orbuch, whose research has followed a whole bunch of couples over 36 years.

“What starts as a small, irritating habit becomes: ‘You’re not listening to me. You don’t love me. Maybe we’re not compatible and I hate you,” she said.

But criticizing the issue within the moment is not the perfect approach, Orbuch said. Find an excellent time and situation to discuss it: away from the children, not right after work, right before you leave for the day, or when you’re drained in bed.

Be specific

Orbuch beneficial starting the discussion with the positives after which using what she called an XYZ statement. For example, give examples that show that you know that is an overall great partner, resembling being an incredible friend or being good to your mother. Then do the next: When I do X (throw clothes on the ground) in Y situation (as a substitute of the trash can), I feel Z (frustrated).

Then ask, “Can we talk about this?”

Highlighting a specific behavior will help your spouse or partner address the issue higher than if you blame her or him for a personality flaw, resembling, “You’re a terrible slob.”

“We lock the person up where they don’t know what to say or what to change to alleviate the frustration,” Orbuch said.

When you can, highlight loving moments

Greer said an incredible way to quickly dissipate hateful moments is to construct a reservoir of positive emotions. Pay attention not only to the facets of your partner that you adore, but also to why they make you feel good.

For example, if your partner gives you flowers, as a substitute of just thanking him, tell him how you felt when you received them. Saying you appreciate the flowers since it showed they listened to something you needed helps reinforce those positive emotions, she added.

“When you feel love, it’s important to name it,” Greer said. “It’s important to say, ‘You know what, I’m having a moment where I can love you.'”

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Marlon Wayans is urging the general public to “hold space” for Boosie Badazz as he continues to live with a queer child.

The 41-year-old Baton Rouge rapper is facing backlash after saying he didn’t want his 22-year-old daughter, who identifies as a lesbian, “infecting” his other children during an appearance on Yung Miami’s Revolt show. Caresha Please” at Revolt World 2024.

“He still can’t bring his situation to our home. My daughter is now an adult because I don’t want it to contaminate her others (siblings),” he said. Complex. “This is the generation we’re raising, and I don’t desire her to be too tainted by contact along with her other six or seven sisters who look as much as her. I need them to bring me grandchildren…”

Despite the live audience groaning in displeasure in response, the “Set it Off” rapper remained unfazed.

“If I don’t want my other little girl to look at her daddy and say, ‘What kind of daddy is that?’ to someone he looks up to? It’s not coming back,” he explained, adding: “My grandfather didn’t let it happen, my dad didn’t let it happen, and I didn’t let it happen.”

As backlash began to grow online, Wayans, 52, who has spoken openly about coping with his own family dynamics with a queer child, offered his nuanced approach.

“(You) can’t paint (Boosie) as a monster. This man is the father who provides. I have faith that he, his daughter and God will figure this out,” Wayans wrote in his article write to X.

The comedian noted that it took him “a second” to grasp his transgender son, Kai.

“Give their family grace and time. It’s a growing pain. She knows daddy loves her. That’s all that matters,” he continued. “He may or may not come. But it’s his and hers.

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When the user identified that despite the fact that the “Bel Air” actor took time to grasp his son, he never said things like “tainted,” he added: “I wouldn’t do it BUT I understand the disposition and I will hold space for (Boosie) and his family “

Wayans wasn’t the just one to precise his opinion. Boosie’s daughter in query, Iviona Hatch, offered her own response to her father’s comments in a post on Friday.

“If you realize me, I like and respect my siblings with all my heart. And they respect me and love me with all their being,” she told Complex.

The 22-year-old also alleged that Boosie called her the “gay b-word” in response to her coming out.

She added: “So if the world really knew about the hurtful things you said to me earlier and I forgave you, you wouldn’t even understand.”

Wayans talked about the journey he took to accepting and understanding his son Kai. The comedian admitted that the method wasn’t entirely smooth and involved a learning curve. During a speech on September 17 in “The Jennifer Hudson Show” said Kai was “the identical kid as before – now he just grew a beard. All right! Same child.

The father of three, who can be father to 22-year-old son Shawn and 1-year-old daughter Axl, added that Kai’s embrace taught him that he was “loads stronger than I assumed. I learned that my family—my brothers and sisters—prepared me to be the rock in our family.”

The “Scary Movie” star also made headlines earlier this month when she condemned Elon Musk’s recent remarks about his own transgender daughter.

During a recent appearance on Shannon Sharpe’s podcast, “Shay Shay Club” Wayans said: “I even have a Tesla that I’m about to drive off a cliff because I don’t love what he’s saying about his trans kid and it’s driving me crazy. You know you do not treat children like that. You don’t disown your kids.