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“I love you, but I hate you.” What to do when you can’t stand your long-term partner

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It’s often said that there is a tremendous line between love and hate, but is it okay to sometimes hate your long-term partner? If you ask actress Jamie Lee Curtis, it’s practically vital.

When asked concerning the secret of her 40-year marriage to actor Christopher Guest, she recently replied that the important thing to success is patience, perseverance and “a really big dose of hate.”

“Suddenly you literally want to hate each other. And the next day it’s a nice, sunny day and the dog does something cute or your kid does something cute and you look at each other and go, ‘Oh my gosh,'” Curtis told “Entertainment Tonight” after accepting an Emmy for his role in “The Bear.” “And you’re on a different track.”

Relationship experts say it’s normal for couples to experience moments that feel like real hate. The difference between couples who survive and those that don’t is how they take care of their emotions in these moments.

“Hating the person you love is the most common thing in the world,” said Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist and creator of Am I Lying to Myself? How to overcome denial and see the reality. “We think we should love our partner all the time, unconditionally, but that’s not the case.”

Yes, you should “get rid of the little things”

Stereotypical annoyances like leaving the bathroom seat open or shoes littering the ground add up if left unaddressed, says Terri Orbuch, a sociology professor at Oakland University and creator of “Five Simple Steps to Taking Your Marriage From Good to Great.”

To prevent pet anger from turning into an even bigger problem, it is vital to “worry about the little things,” said Orbuch, whose research has followed a whole bunch of couples over 36 years.

“What starts as a small, irritating habit becomes: ‘You’re not listening to me. You don’t love me. Maybe we’re not compatible and I hate you,” she said.

But criticizing the issue within the moment is not the perfect approach, Orbuch said. Find an excellent time and situation to discuss it: away from the children, not right after work, right before you leave for the day, or when you’re drained in bed.

Be specific

Orbuch beneficial starting the discussion with the positives after which using what she called an XYZ statement. For example, give examples that show that you know that is an overall great partner, resembling being an incredible friend or being good to your mother. Then do the next: When I do X (throw clothes on the ground) in Y situation (as a substitute of the trash can), I feel Z (frustrated).

Then ask, “Can we talk about this?”

Highlighting a specific behavior will help your spouse or partner address the issue higher than if you blame her or him for a personality flaw, resembling, “You’re a terrible slob.”

“We lock the person up where they don’t know what to say or what to change to alleviate the frustration,” Orbuch said.

When you can, highlight loving moments

Greer said an incredible way to quickly dissipate hateful moments is to construct a reservoir of positive emotions. Pay attention not only to the facets of your partner that you adore, but also to why they make you feel good.

For example, if your partner gives you flowers, as a substitute of just thanking him, tell him how you felt when you received them. Saying you appreciate the flowers since it showed they listened to something you needed helps reinforce those positive emotions, she added.

“When you feel love, it’s important to name it,” Greer said. “It’s important to say, ‘You know what, I’m having a moment where I can love you.'”

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This article was originally published on : thegrio.com
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What is GiveTuesday? The annual day of giving is approaching

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Giving Tuesday, GivingTuesday, What is GivingTuesday, What is Giving Tuesday, #GivingTuesday, philanthropy, the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, seasonal giving, seasonal donations, charitable donations, theGrio.com

Since it began as a hashtag in 2012, Giving on Tuesdaythe Tuesday after Thanksgiving, became one of the largest collection days yr for non-profit organizations within the USA

GivingTuesday estimates that the GivingTuesday initiative will raise $3.1 billion for charities in 2022 and 2023.

This yr, GivingTuesday falls on December 3.

How did GivingTuesday start?

The hashtag #GivingTuesday began as a project of the 92nd Street Y in New York City in 2012 and have become an independent organization in 2020. It has grown right into a worldwide network of local organizations that promote giving of their communities, often on various dates which have local significance. like a vacation.

Today, the nonprofit organization GivingTuesday also brings together researchers working on topics related to on a regular basis giving. This too collects data from a big selection of sources comparable to payment processors, crowdfunding sites, worker transfer software and offering institutions donor really helpful fundstype of charity account.

What is the aim of GivingTuesday?

The hashtag has been began promote generosity and this nonprofit organization continues to advertise giving within the fullest sense of the word.

For nonprofits, the goal of GivingTuesday is to boost money and have interaction supporters. Many individuals are aware of the flood of email and mail appeals that coincide on the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. Essentially all major U.S. nonprofits will host fundraising campaigns, and plenty of smaller, local groups will participate as well.

Nonprofit organizations don’t have to be affiliated with GivingTuesday in any method to run a fundraising campaign. They can just do it, although GivingTuesday provides graphics and advice. In this manner, it stays a grassroots endeavor during which groups and donors participate as they please.

Keke Palmer Recalls the Key Advice Will Smith Gave Her as a Child:

Was GivingTuesday a hit?

It will depend on the way you measure success, but it surely has definitely gone far beyond initial efforts to advertise giving on social media. The day has change into an everlasting and well-known event that focuses on charitable giving, volunteerism and civic participation within the U.S. and all over the world.

For years, GivingTuesday has been a serious fundraising goal for nonprofits, with many looking for to arrange pooled donations from major donors and leverage their network of supporters to contribute. This is the start year-end fundraising peakas nonprofits strive to fulfill their budget goals for next yr.

GivingTuesday giving in 2022 and 2023 totaled $3.1 billion, up from $2.7 billion in 2021. While that is loads to boost in a single day, the trend last yr was flat and with fewer donorswhich, in accordance with the organization, is a disturbing signal.

This article was originally published on : thegrio.com
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BlaQue Community Cares is organizing a cash crowd for serious food

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QNS reports that Queens, New York-based nonprofit BlaQue Community Cares is making an effort to assist raise awareness of Earnest Foods, an organic food market with the Cash Mob initiative.

The BlaQue Cash Mob program is a community-led event that goals to support local businesses, reminiscent of grocery stores in Jamaica, by encouraging shoppers to go to the shop and spend a certain quantity of cash, roughly $20. BlaQue founder Aleeia Abraham says cash drives are happening across New York City to extend support for local businesses. “I think it’s important to really encourage local shopping habits and strengthen the connections between residents and businesses and Black businesses, especially in Queens,” she said after hosting six events since 2021.

“We’ve been doing this for a while and we’ve found that it really helps the community discover new businesses that they may not have known existed.”

As a result, crowds increase sales and strengthen social bonds for independent businesses.

Earnest Foods opened in 2021 after recognizing the necessity for fresh produce in the world. As residents struggled to seek out fresh food, Abraham defines the shop as “an invaluable part of the southeast Queens community.” “There’s really nowhere to go in Queens, especially Black-owned businesses in Queens, to find something healthier to eat. We need to keep these businesses open,” she said.

“So someone just needs to make everyone aware that these companies exist and how to keep the dollars in our community. Organizing this cash crowd not only encourages people to buy, but also shows where our collective dollars stand, how it helps sustain businesses and directly serves and uplifts our community.”

The event will happen on November 24 from 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. at 123-01 Merrick Blvd in St. Albans. According to the shop’s co-owner, Earnest Flowers, he has partnered with several other Black-owned brands in the world to sell his products at the shop. Flowers is comfortable that his neighbors can come to his supermarket to purchase organic food and goods from local vendors like Celeste Sassine, owner of Sassy Sweet Vegan Treats.

At the grand opening three years ago which was visited by over 350 viewersSassine stated that the collaboration was “super, super, super exciting” to the purpose that the majority of the products were off the shelves inside hours.


This article was originally published on : www.blackenterprise.com
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Keke Palmer Recalls the Key Advice Will Smith Gave Her as a Child: “It’s Hard to Be First”

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Keke Palmer, Keke Palmer Will Smith, Keke Palmer emancipation, keke palmer parents, Is Keke Palmer emancipated? theGrio.com

Like many young people, actress Keke Palmer went through a phase wherein she clashed along with her parents. Recently in a performance at “Toast” podcast.Palmer revealed that fellow actor Will Smith helped her take care of the situation along with her family.

As a child star who has appeared on Nickelodeon and Disney productions, the “Akeelah and the Bee” actress explained how juggling fame has affected her and her family relationships — a lot in order that she admits she once considered emancipating herself from her parents.

Although her lawyer tried to get her into counseling, Palmer said it was Smith’s words that ultimately modified her mind.

“A couple of weeks go by, I’m on the set of ‘True Jackson, Vice President’ and I get a call from a very, very unknown number. And I said, “What? If it was strange, I would not answer,” she said, mentioning that she simply went back to work. Later, while retrieving her phone, Palmer received a voicemail from the “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” star.

“Hey Keke. This is Will. We’re here filming ‘The Karate Kid’ with (my son) Jaden and I just want to let you understand that I’ve talked (to your lawyer),’ Palmer continued, impersonating Smith. “He let me know every little thing you are going through and I need you to know that sometimes it’s hard to be the first, but you may do it. Just stay focused, love your loved ones and every little thing shall be high-quality.

Palmer remembers struggling as a child with the attention and fame that got here with climbing the ladder in the entertainment industry. While trying to adjust to the demands of her burgeoning profession, the actress recalls feeling that fame meant she would have to “throw (her) family away.”

“It’s something that happens when you leave and you can become a child artist, you can be the first person in your family to go to college, or you can be the first person in your family to get married,” Palmer said: explaining her feelings at that moment. “There are so many firsts that can happen as the generations of your family grow and evolve.”

Keke Palmer is reclaiming the “narrative” surrounding his relationship with ex Darius Jackson

Ultimately deciding not to undergo the emancipation process, Palmer emphasized the importance of getting a healthy community when navigating the entertainment industry.

“I think I’ve always felt like a lot of people, whether they’re big names or whether they’re my lawyers, have been a good community,” she added. “Also, my parents made sure I was around (people) who would encourage community rather than discord and separation.”

This article was originally published on : thegrio.com
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