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Here’s how to deal with toxicity from your ex when you end a relationship

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Although Cardi B and her ex Offset have had many ups and downs of their relationship, the Grammy-winning rapper has finally decided that she is finished with the wedding. We previously reported that she filed for divorce. She and Offset recently had a falling out on social media because the previous Migos member accused Cardi of sleeping with another person. At the identical time, she was pregnant, later mentioning that he “won” because she was his “baby mom”, which caused a storm of opinions and outrage on the Internet.

Many black women have recognized this behavior because they often experience their significant others trying to intentionally sabotage their progress or use their success to lift themselves up. But I still wondered if their whole argument might have been avoided. And if Cardi B cheated, was it justified as some online claimed? So I made a decision to contact two relationship experts, Damona Hoffman and Nikquan Lewis, to learn how to deal with difficult interactions with an ex.

According to Hoffman, a successful artist gives us a masterclass in how not to break up. “Cardi B is giving us a masterclass on how not to break up right away. First, I might say, don’t try to solve the issue within the court of public opinion. The gory details of their breakup and cheating rumors should not be spread on social media, especially when they’ve children together who may have to read all of it sooner or later. There isn’t any reason to publicly post the main points of your breakup on social media or share them with all your family and friends. It may appear to be revenge, but within the end you’re only hurting yourself,” he says.

Instead of airing your dirty laundry on social media, he suggests using the art of silence. “I counsel you to stop communicating for a while. This is difficult when you have children in common or assets to sort out, so if that is your situation, try to find an intermediary. Otherwise, it’s easier to heal if you don’t talk to your ex until you’ve taken time to process your feelings. “It’s very common that when you start connecting again, you fall back into old patterns if you haven’t done your job, and in the case of Cardi B and Offset, this kind of blow-up followed by an on-off-again dynamic is nothing new,” says Hoffman .

Lewis and Hoffman consider it is best not to take hurtful comments from your ex-partner personally. “Hurtful comments are sometimes a last-ditch attempt by a toxic ex to regain control or power in a situation where they not have anything to say. Often this isn’t latest behavior and has happened before in the course of the relationship. It may hit in another way once you’re done and need to move on since it’s a time of vulnerability, especially if you keep going because you know you have to, but a part of you doesn’t want to. It’s necessary to realize that these comments will not be a reflection of you – they’re projections of pain, insecurity, and unresolved trauma. Clapping in response could also be satisfying, but your strength lies in responding and never responding. Choose emotional distance over argument, says Lewis.

Now it is time to address the elephant within the room. Is cheating even socially acceptable? Hoffman says: I do not think this provides a solution to the relationship. As Cardi B has said publicly, they need to work on their communication. Communication should at all times come before motion.” Lewis agrees: “Betrayal does not restore dignity, make the situation less painful, or erase past relationship trauma; this only adds to the emotional damage. The moment you decide that your partner’s toxic behavior no longer defines you or your actions, you take back your power. True power comes from choosing to live intentionally, not reactively.”

He continues, “Moving forward, your goal ought to be to honor yourself by defining your values, principles, morals, and relationship standards, which should dictate how you act. Once you do that, if you value qualities reminiscent of growth, respect, and honesty, they need to influence your decision-making process to determine whether cheating is appropriate. It’s necessary to make decisions which can be consistent with who you want to be – not who you were when you were with that person, or in moments where decisions are driven by feelings like hurt.

According to Lewis, “Dealing with a breakup is difficult enough, but when you’re dealing with a toxic partner/relationship, the emotional burden may be unbearable, not to mention the trauma within the relationship that always continues to impact those involved. Once you’ve decided you’re done with a relationship, the important thing to protecting your peace is to set clear, direct, and intentional boundaries – not only for your ex, but for yourself. This means selecting to heal as a substitute of getting the last word, responding when you are pressured, and getting your “lick” back.

Lewis suggests specializing in what’s best for you reasonably than taking revenge. “Instead, you should focus on what you need to do to move forward, understanding that just because it’s the best doesn’t mean it’s easy. This can be a very difficult process and requires determination, self-love, support and a lot of self-control,” she states.

Additional ways to get through a difficult breakup with a toxic partner According to Lewis:

Be intentional: Breaking away from toxicity requires intentionality. This process involves leaving physically and creating emotional, mental and spiritual space. This is where your clear and direct boundaries with your ex come into play and you take steps to limit his access to you. This may include unfollowing/blocking them on social media or on your phone and telling your friends about your boundaries in order that they know how they’ll support you during this time. This process will likely require you to make an effort to not react to what you see online, maintain only crucial communication, and at all times stick to the boundaries you set for yourself and your ex. If toxic and hurtful comments escalate into harassment/defamation, please pursue your legal remedies and notify others to play with another person.

Focus your healing: Focus on healing by repeating positive affirmations to yourself, reminding yourself of your value, and delving into self-love practices. Surround yourself with individuals who value you and put money into things that bring you joy, healing and growth. Take it sooner or later at a time, knowing that every step away from toxicity is a step closer to a true life focused on pleasure. Most importantly, keep in mind that healing isn’t linear – it is commonly chaotic and scattered, nevertheless it is value it. Respect your progress and at all times select peace over chaos.

Ending a toxic relationship means it is time to rewrite your narrative, stuffed with intention, self-respect, and healing. You deserve a space where you can create a relationship that’s consistent with the love and respect you have at all times wanted – starting with your relationship with yourself.

This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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Maya Harris Shows Support for Kamala Harris’ Big Sister After Sharing Viral Video of Their Sibling Rivalry

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Kamala Harris’ family couldn’t predict the longer term, but Maya Harris is not surprised that her older sister is on target to develop into the subsequent president of the United States.

Maya has been within the highlight recently for supporting Kamala in her campaigns and the resurgence of clips that gave online viewers a glimpse into the sibling relationship.

Sibling rivalry is clear in a viral clip of Vice President Kamala Harris and her sister Maya Harris. (Photo: @mayaharris_/X)

“You see today, she is a force,” Maya said in an exclusive interview People. “She is fearless, tenacious, tough and brave. I mean, she really has been like that since we were kids. She never backed down from a challenge.”

As the vice chairman’s younger sister, Maya, 57, joined the ultimate leg of her sister’s campaign as a surrogate family.

While Kamala embarks on what Maya calls “a long road and a long journey,” she says she “wouldn’t be anywhere else,” and their bond as sisters is “more important” than ever. “We are sisters doing what sisters do,” she said.

“She’s my sister and I will always support her and stand by her side and have her back like I know she has mine,” Maya later added.

Maya has been influencing politics and civil rights for over 20 years. The achieved lawyer served as Hillary Clinton’s senior policy advisor during her 2016 presidential campaign, serving because the leading policy experts tasked with developing Clinton’s domestic policy agenda. She also served as her sister’s campaign chairwoman during her 2020 presidential primaries.

The Stanford University law graduate admits that while her sister “will never stop seeing me as her little sister,” Kamala respects her contributions, which she considers a real testament to her character.

“Kamala welcomes advice not only from me, but from anyone she meets who has experience and perspective that she may not have. She really listens to people,” Maya explained. “She respects other people’s points of view, even in the event that they differ from hers. She respects what she may not know and what another person may help enlighten her to. And that is what she is.”

The difficult situation of Maya, who will at all times remain the younger sister, is clearly visible within the 2012 film, which was released after a joint interview with “Newsweek” and “The Daily Beast” throughout the “Women in the World” conference. Maya and Kamala exchanged some playful banter about Kamala.

At the time, Harris made history as her state’s first woman, the primary Asian American and the primary African American woman to function California’s attorney general.

Although she didn’t claim it, some consider that Maya apparently predicted her sister’s future.

– What do they call attorneys general if their lawyer is a general? – she asked the interlocutor. “They call them ‘generals.’

Harris paused and said, “Yes, they call me General Harris and she hates it.”

“When she was elected attorney general, she said, ‘You know you’re going to have to start calling me General Harris,’” Maya continued.

“So I have a feeling that when she becomes President of the United States, I’ll call her ‘Miss President,’ but until then, you’ll just be Kamala.”

“No, I’m just a big sister, a general,” Kamala added, and so they each burst out laughing.

Maya supports her sister’s presidential campaign to construct the center class and support an American nation that reflects her upbringing. Kamala and Maya often praise their late mother, Shyamala Gopalan Harris, a breast cancer researcher who immigrated to the United States from Chennai, India.

“We watched our mother work long hours,” Maya said. “On weekends, she would take us to her lab. She gave us work while we were there, filing papers and cleaning beakers and pipettes so that we wouldn’t be idle and so that we could contribute in some way to this goal.”

Their father, Donald Jasper Harris, an economist and professor emeritus at Stanford University, was born in Browns Town, Jamaica.

She added that the “little girl” who attended the civil rights march along with her parents still lives in Kamala, but now she will make an impact, which is all she ever wanted.

Although tensions and stakes are high, Maya revealed that the Harris sisters are “happy” with what lies ahead within the 2024 election against former President Donald Trump.


This article was originally published on : atlantablackstar.com
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In Ciara’s exciting music video, fans warn the singer about Russell Wilson’s true intentions

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Ciara opens up about how Russell Wilson

Ciara is maintaining with recent music. After guesting on Missy Elliott’s tour last month and releasing her single “Run It Up,” the 38-year-old returns with a brand new single with Busta Rhymes and a racy music video that fans say she made to tease her husband: Russell Wilson.

On September 27, the day the single was released, Ciara uploaded a clip of herself shaking her hips to “Wassup” on Instagram. Some fans took the time to go with Ciara on the song, but others were too busy wooing her together with her dance moves.

Ciara opens up about how Russell Wilson's mesmerizing eyes got her pregnant with No. 4.
Ciara opens up about how Russell Wilson’s mesmerizing eyes got her pregnant. (Photo: @russellwilson/Instagram)

One person said, “Thinking about her husband,” while one other wrote, “Bless(ed) the man that is @dangerusswilson and she is a blessed woman to have a man who supports her.”

Dressed in a green camouflage minidress, Ciara curled her hair as she looked flirtatiously at the camera while singing her recent song. Many fans took their comments a step further, jokingly holding Ciara accountable for seducing her husband with these moves.

One person he said“And that’s why this man can’t get away from you Shhh” and “We can see why Russell still wants to have kids, Cici!!” A 3rd person warned: “Stop hanging around before she puts you away for another 9 months CiCi.”

Several others jokingly wrote, “I just went to get the baby’s room ready” and “Yes, you’ll definitely get pregnant again after this.”

Ciara and Russell have been married for eight years and have already got a blended family of 4 children.

Before their wedding, Ciara was engaged to three-time Grammy Award-winning rapper Future. From this relationship, her eldest child, also named Future, was born. The same yr he was born, in May 2014, she and the “WAIT FOR U” rapper called off their engagement.

In 2015, Ciara began dating Wilson, who was then playing for the Seattle Seahawks. The couple faced criticism from fans and Ciara’s ex after photos surfaced of Ciara and Wilson spending time with baby Future.

Many people felt that Wilson shouldn’t have been hanging around Future this early – if in any respect. However, they’ve been successful in blocking criticism up to now, and Wilson has apparently continued to act as Future’s surrogate stepfather, raising him as his own.

After the wedding in 2016, the couple had three more children: 7-year-old daughter Sienna, 4-year-old son Win and 9-month-old daughter Amora, whom Wilson mainly placed on one knee and whom he asked for in 2022, when Ciara was visiting the house . He was the host of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”.

The couple’s most typical joke is that Wilson is plotting to get Ciara pregnant with number 5. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, nonetheless, since Wilson has all the time claimed he wanted an enormous family.

He said that in 2016 People“I want to have a bunch of children – me and you. “I think from the first day I met Ciara and Little Man it was really cool and really special.”


This article was originally published on : atlantablackstar.com
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Sha’Carri Richardson’s stadium dedication fails as critics accuse her of looking ‘tall’ during interview

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Olympic gold medalist Sha’Carri Richardson was immortalized in her hometown of Dallas, Texas. The track and field sprinter was honored at her alma mater.

On September 21, David W. Carter High School remembered Sha’Carri Richardson by officially naming the track after the 24-year-old star athlete.

Richardson made a surprise appearance at David W. Carter John Kincaide Stadium during Friday’s game against downtown rival Wilmer-Hutchins High School.

After winning a gold medal on the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris, American sprinter Sha’Carri Richardson is getting a track named after her at her former highschool. (Photo: Patrick Smith/Getty Images)

Local officials such as Dallas Independent School District Superintendent Dr. Stephanie Elizalde and Texas State Senator Royce West were available for the naming ceremony.

“I’m proud to have come out of DISD,” Richardson stated during the ceremony, in accordance with WFAA channel 8. “I ran on this track. I can say that I began my profession on this track. So having it named after me is now an honor. “

She continued, “But it shows that I have a responsibility to Dallas. Where I come from continues to support me no matter how far I go. And I will never, ever let people forget where I come from.”

Richardson heaped praise on Carter High School, formally recognizing its athletic achievements. However, some YouTube users focused on the performance of the 2024 Summer Olympics.

One person wrote: “Sha’Carri looked tired and sleepy. He deserves good rest and nice holidays with friends and loved ones. Glad Carter School and Dallas ISD continue to honor her.”

The fan advised: “Take care of yourself, girl, get a good rest and come back stronger.” Another commenter asked: “Does she look tall?” while another person bluntly stated, “She has high asf.”

“I like how everyone in this video ignores the obvious,” added a fifth person.

Richardson has been open about her past marijuana use. She qualified for the postponed 2021 Summer Olympics in Tokyo, but was deemed ineligible for the 100-meter dash in June 2021 after testing positive for carboxy-THC and THC.

The United States Anti-Doping Agency handed Richardson a one-month suspension for violating anti-doping rules. Even though the Tokyo Games don’t start until July 2021, the American runner missed the possibility to compete in Japan.

“The rules are clear, but on many levels it’s heartbreaking; “Let us hope that her acceptance of responsibility and apology will serve as an important example to all of us that we can successfully overcome our regrettable decisions, despite the costly consequences for her,” USADA CEO Travis T. Tygart said in a speech press release.

In response to the USADA ban, Richardson admitted that she smoked marijuana to deal with the sudden death of her biological mother, Shayaria Richardson. According to reports, the then-21-year-old learned of her mother’s death per week before her disqualified victory within the 100 meters on the 2021 United States Olympic Trials.

“Sorry. Even though I’m disappointed, I know that when I step on the track, I’m not representing myself. I represent a community that has shown me great support and great love, and I have let you all down,” Richardson said in a July 2021 interview with The Times. “Today” show.

The former Louisiana State University student added: “Don’t judge me because I’m human. I just run just a little faster.

Additionally, Richardson shared how “triggering” her mother’s death was, which sent her right into a “state of emotional panic.”

Richardson was raised by her grandmother Betty Harp and aunt Shay Richardson within the Dallas area. She was an eight-time state champion at David W. Carter High School.

At the 2023 World Championships in Athletics in Budapest, Hungary, Richardson won gold medals in the ladies’s 100-meter dash and the ladies’s 4 × 100-meter relay. She also won a bronze medal in the ladies’s 200 meters.

Richardson won her first Olympic gold medal on the 2024 Paris Olympics, helping Team USA secure first place within the 4×100-meter relay. The Texan native narrowly missed out on the 100-meter dash, taking silver behind Saint Lucia’s Julien Alfred.


This article was originally published on : atlantablackstar.com
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