Lifestyle
A viral dating coach is causing a stir after his advice for black women looking for a relationship raises eyebrows
Some Black women have a message for the relationship coaches targeting them: They’re exhausted by the advice.
“If you claim to care about Black women and claim to use your platform to provide Black women with real service or good advice, listen to us when we say we are tired” – TikTok user Tsahai Layne sent.
In her video titled “PSA for ‘Dating Coaches’ for BW,” she says that black women are fed up with all of the content about how they need to look, see themselves, and where they rank on the dating scale.
“The politics of attractiveness, the politics of respectability, fatphobia… some of you dating coaches have managed to take all these isms, wrap them in a bow and feed them to black women to quantify why you are single,” Layne said.
@tsahailayne That’s all there is to it #fyp #blackgirltiktok #relations #fypshi #DatingAdvice #misogynoir ♬ original sound – Tsahai Layne
Her message resonated with black women.
“Yes, I am very tired of dating advice,” commented TikTok user Imani. “I’m not giving up on love, but I’m tired of being told what to do.”
“It had to be said!” TikTok user KR added. “Honestly, it feels exploitative at this point. Gaslighting and targeting Black women, our needs and desires, in the name of “helping” us is brutal.”
While Layne didn’t name any names on this particular video, other people within the comments mentioned Anwar White, Derrick Jaxn, and the late Kevin Samuels – all men who gave controversial dating advice to black women.
Layne previously addressed White, a relationship coach who calls himself a “fairy godbrother” to Black and brown women: after the recording he published explaining why “many black women don’t like coffee dates.” His video was a response to the infamous cheesecake factory saga that social media users talked about for days. A woman went viral after posting a video wherein she explained how she refused to go away her automotive because her date was taking her to a cheesecake factory.
White, who says he has been a dating coach for Black and brown women for over a decade, is the host of the “Get Your Guy” podcast, which he launched in November 2020. White also served as program director of the McGill Desautels Master of Retail Management. He began the video by stating that many women have a certain “entitlement” relating to how they’re asked out on a date.
“I’m a big fan of coffee dates. Coffee dates are really vital for many reasons, but I need to dig into the deeper the explanation why, especially Black and brown women, can have this opinion or wonder what dates are okay or inappropriate for coffee dates. “
She says black women are likely to keep away from coffee dates resulting from the shortage of effort. Another reason, he says, is that black families equate money with love.
“Many of us grew up in households where our parents worked most of the time, and when they returned, they tried to compensate for the lack of quality time with gifts and money,” she says. “That’s why birthdays and Christmas were so exaggerated and we equated money with love.”
Some agreed with White’s evaluation.
“Oh my god I agree,” TikToker Netta J commented on her video. “I’ll go for coffee anytime, because if I don’t like you, at least I’ll have a good cup of coffee and waste less time at the end.”
“I prefer coffee/tea dates because I find it casual,” added TikTok user AlwaysBetOnBLACK. “It gives me a chance to be authentic, to connect and learn.”
However, some people, including Layne, disagreed with White’s evaluation.
“I feel like he (White) just has a really big blindspot in this scenario because if you want to talk about black women not wanting to go on coffee dates, you have to get to the real reason,” Layne said.
She said White glossed over the facts and generalized them into scenarios: “Black women don’t want to date broke men.”
@tsahailayne #seam with @Anwar White #greenscreen #dating #blackwomen #Cheesecake Factory #fyp #DatingAdvice ♬ original sound – Tsahai Layne
“I’ll go one step further, because that’s not even the point,” he says. “Many men who live by coffee dates, walks within the park, climbing dates, no-effort dates, lots of them follow Red Pill podcasts, Manosphere podcasts, Manoshpere ideologies that spread anti-Black, anti-woman rhetoric and violent rhetoric throughout Day”.
Black women aren’t the one ones who don’t share a few of White’s advice. A recent video about “dangerous” light-skinned black men also sparked a backlash on TikTok.
“Biracial and lighter-skinned men are often dangerous,” White said in a video posted in November 2023. “They have God complexes, and that is because they’ve a number of various privileges. Quite privilege within the Black community, white privilege within the Black community, and male privilege.
He went on to clarify that biracial and lighter-skinned men have the identical rights as white men, but are traumatized by black men.
@datingcoachanwar My Controversial Dating Advice for Light-Skinned Men! #blackdating #blackgirldating #blacklove #blackwomendatingtips #singleblackwoman #singleblackwoman #blackwomanhood #femininityforblackwomen #blackdatingadvice ♬ original sound – Anwar White
Needless to say, this upset a few men.
So the query becomes, what is one of the best ways for black women and men to search out authentic dating advice in a place of affection and authenticity? Evidence of this query comes from a recent query from a woman on the r/Blackladies subreddit.
Reddit users sympathized with the lady and said the most effective advice comes from individuals who live what they preach.
“Honestly, my favorite dating advice comes from healthy couples. Not some ‘coach’,” said one Reddit user.
“I would only seek advice from someone you trust and take online advice with a pinch of salt. There is nothing right or wrong with dating,” replied one other.
“People on the internet are just people on the internet,” one other Reddit user added. “You need to find people who know you and people you have dated who can give you detailed and appropriate advice.”
Lifestyle
What is GiveTuesday? The annual day of giving is approaching
Since it began as a hashtag in 2012, Giving on Tuesdaythe Tuesday after Thanksgiving, became one of the largest collection days yr for non-profit organizations within the USA
GivingTuesday estimates that the GivingTuesday initiative will raise $3.1 billion for charities in 2022 and 2023.
This yr, GivingTuesday falls on December 3.
How did GivingTuesday start?
The hashtag #GivingTuesday began as a project of the 92nd Street Y in New York City in 2012 and have become an independent organization in 2020. It has grown right into a worldwide network of local organizations that promote giving of their communities, often on various dates which have local significance. like a vacation.
Today, the nonprofit organization GivingTuesday also brings together researchers working on topics related to on a regular basis giving. This too collects data from a big selection of sources comparable to payment processors, crowdfunding sites, worker transfer software and offering institutions donor really helpful fundstype of charity account.
What is the aim of GivingTuesday?
The hashtag has been began promote generosity and this nonprofit organization continues to advertise giving within the fullest sense of the word.
For nonprofits, the goal of GivingTuesday is to boost money and have interaction supporters. Many individuals are aware of the flood of email and mail appeals that coincide on the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. Essentially all major U.S. nonprofits will host fundraising campaigns, and plenty of smaller, local groups will participate as well.
Nonprofit organizations don’t have to be affiliated with GivingTuesday in any method to run a fundraising campaign. They can just do it, although GivingTuesday provides graphics and advice. In this manner, it stays a grassroots endeavor during which groups and donors participate as they please.
Was GivingTuesday a hit?
It will depend on the way you measure success, but it surely has definitely gone far beyond initial efforts to advertise giving on social media. The day has change into an everlasting and well-known event that focuses on charitable giving, volunteerism and civic participation within the U.S. and all over the world.
For years, GivingTuesday has been a serious fundraising goal for nonprofits, with many looking for to arrange pooled donations from major donors and leverage their network of supporters to contribute. This is the start year-end fundraising peakas nonprofits strive to fulfill their budget goals for next yr.
GivingTuesday giving in 2022 and 2023 totaled $3.1 billion, up from $2.7 billion in 2021. While that is loads to boost in a single day, the trend last yr was flat and with fewer donorswhich, in accordance with the organization, is a disturbing signal.
Lifestyle
BlaQue Community Cares is organizing a cash crowd for serious food
QNS reports that Queens, New York-based nonprofit BlaQue Community Cares is making an effort to assist raise awareness of Earnest Foods, an organic food market with the Cash Mob initiative.
The BlaQue Cash Mob program is a community-led event that goals to support local businesses, reminiscent of grocery stores in Jamaica, by encouraging shoppers to go to the shop and spend a certain quantity of cash, roughly $20. BlaQue founder Aleeia Abraham says cash drives are happening across New York City to extend support for local businesses. “I think it’s important to really encourage local shopping habits and strengthen the connections between residents and businesses and Black businesses, especially in Queens,” she said after hosting six events since 2021.
“We’ve been doing this for a while and we’ve found that it really helps the community discover new businesses that they may not have known existed.”
As a result, crowds increase sales and strengthen social bonds for independent businesses.
Earnest Foods opened in 2021 after recognizing the necessity for fresh produce in the world. As residents struggled to seek out fresh food, Abraham defines the shop as “an invaluable part of the southeast Queens community.” “There’s really nowhere to go in Queens, especially Black-owned businesses in Queens, to find something healthier to eat. We need to keep these businesses open,” she said.
“So someone just needs to make everyone aware that these companies exist and how to keep the dollars in our community. Organizing this cash crowd not only encourages people to buy, but also shows where our collective dollars stand, how it helps sustain businesses and directly serves and uplifts our community.”
The event will happen on November 24 from 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. at 123-01 Merrick Blvd in St. Albans. According to the shop’s co-owner, Earnest Flowers, he has partnered with several other Black-owned brands in the world to sell his products at the shop. Flowers is comfortable that his neighbors can come to his supermarket to purchase organic food and goods from local vendors like Celeste Sassine, owner of Sassy Sweet Vegan Treats.
At the grand opening three years ago which was visited by over 350 viewersSassine stated that the collaboration was “super, super, super exciting” to the purpose that the majority of the products were off the shelves inside hours.
Lifestyle
Keke Palmer Recalls the Key Advice Will Smith Gave Her as a Child: “It’s Hard to Be First”
Like many young people, actress Keke Palmer went through a phase wherein she clashed along with her parents. Recently in a performance at “Toast” podcast.Palmer revealed that fellow actor Will Smith helped her take care of the situation along with her family.
As a child star who has appeared on Nickelodeon and Disney productions, the “Akeelah and the Bee” actress explained how juggling fame has affected her and her family relationships — a lot in order that she admits she once considered emancipating herself from her parents.
Although her lawyer tried to get her into counseling, Palmer said it was Smith’s words that ultimately modified her mind.
“A couple of weeks go by, I’m on the set of ‘True Jackson, Vice President’ and I get a call from a very, very unknown number. And I said, “What? If it was strange, I would not answer,” she said, mentioning that she simply went back to work. Later, while retrieving her phone, Palmer received a voicemail from the “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” star.
“Hey Keke. This is Will. We’re here filming ‘The Karate Kid’ with (my son) Jaden and I just want to let you understand that I’ve talked (to your lawyer),’ Palmer continued, impersonating Smith. “He let me know every little thing you are going through and I need you to know that sometimes it’s hard to be the first, but you may do it. Just stay focused, love your loved ones and every little thing shall be high-quality.
Palmer remembers struggling as a child with the attention and fame that got here with climbing the ladder in the entertainment industry. While trying to adjust to the demands of her burgeoning profession, the actress recalls feeling that fame meant she would have to “throw (her) family away.”
“It’s something that happens when you leave and you can become a child artist, you can be the first person in your family to go to college, or you can be the first person in your family to get married,” Palmer said: explaining her feelings at that moment. “There are so many firsts that can happen as the generations of your family grow and evolve.”
Ultimately deciding not to undergo the emancipation process, Palmer emphasized the importance of getting a healthy community when navigating the entertainment industry.
“I think I’ve always felt like a lot of people, whether they’re big names or whether they’re my lawyers, have been a good community,” she added. “Also, my parents made sure I was around (people) who would encourage community rather than discord and separation.”
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