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Are your expectations of girls unrealistic?

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Way to go

I often see a meme circulating online that claims something like this: “People will forget all the times you said yes and the one time you said no.” In other words, sometimes people forget all the nice you have done for them during your relationship when you may’t show up for them the best way they need you to. I often see this embodied in friendships between women.

All my reality TV fans have probably seen this occur in real time by watching shows like this or recently. We see the ladies within the forged undergo the ups and downs of life and get branded as “bad friends” when they can not show up during those valleys. If you are watching, you might remember the tragedy that Quad Webb experienced when her 3-year-old great-niece drowned in a pool in July 2023. After the very fact, the women accused her of being a friend for TV purposes only, meaning she showed up for a check-up but nothing more. This created tension along with her co-stars, who resented her presence in Season 10. They disagreed on their feelings, despite the fact that Webb also assured that she was going through some things that played a task in her distance, and that they may too call her phone. Nevertheless, throughout the show’s reunion special, she apologized to those she hurt.

Another example is Amara La Negra who went through this when the daddy of her child allegedly visited their twin daughters which led to the top of their relationship. She also had one other relationship that she made public, with Safaree Samuels, which broke up. These women were coping with difficult and traumatic life events, yet their friends expected them to find a way to work through these difficult experiences while being present to satisfy their needs.

I notice that it is a common problem in women’s friendships and I believe it must be assessed. Expecting your friends to continually make it easier to after they are falling apart is an unrealistic and selfish expectation. Besides, simply because someone doesn’t show up for you once you’re going through something does not imply they are a bad friend.

I do know this is tough for some to grasp because many of us have a skewed definition of what it means to be a friend. Our ideas of what it means to be a great girl are rooted in ideals about constant selflessness and sacrifice. May I add that these are values ​​that many of us attempt to unlearn (when an unhealthy imbalance occurs) in romantic relationships.

We simply can’t be all the things to everyone on a regular basis. And we shouldn’t aspire to that. We especially cannot be all the things to a friend when our cups are empty. Grieving the loss of a niece or coming to terms with the fact of being a single parent are real-life examples of when the cups are likely empty. If a friend doesn’t show as much as your event, doesn’t call as often as they used to, or doesn’t reply to your texts during a difficult season, that does not negate how over and over they showed up. I might also add that folks haven’t got to undergo difficult times to maintain their distance. Sometimes we just need time to listen to our own voice, and meaning not interacting with others as much. The best approach to cope with moments like these is to supply support from a distance, moderately than hanging around internally.

Friendship is not about counting how over and over your friends have visited you. Solid and loving friendships are built with grace and empathy. I might even argue that a friend who expects their loved one to be there for them on a regular basis is a so-called “bad” friend because this expectation takes no consideration under consideration. Sometimes people just have enough for themselves and a great friend should understand that.

Taking it a step further, a great friend should praise the opposite for refusing to satisfy his own needs; don’t make them feel guilty for needing to concentrate on themselves. We’re all for self-love until it looks as if someone cannot get their needs met because they’re busy meeting their very own. Contrary to what we now have been taught, being selfish and pouring ourselves out could be love and may give us the flexibility to like more.

Life held me captive at various times and through those seasons I used to be away from my friends. During a divorce or after I was battling depression after a miscarriage, I only had enough within the tank to get me through the day, so there was little energy left for anyone else. I’m eternally grateful for the chums who understood this, gave me space, and reached out to me as I attempted to like myself back into life. I’m a bit distant for the time being and might’t fully show up because I’m in a period of self-reflection and planting. But again, my solid friends understand this, and I understand back when our circumstances reverse.

If you get upset each time a friend doesn’t show up, evaluate your relationship with yourself and the way well you are meeting your own needs. Usually, after we love ourselves very much, what others do for us is a bonus and we do not feel as much resentment when people cannot be there for us in times when it’s probably not obligatory.

The way I see it, if all of us took the time to prioritize our needs and pour from full cups, there can be more overflow. Love would abound in our friendships and on the earth with somewhat more self-love, understanding, and charm. Ultimately, we might be higher girlfriends to one another.


This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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Health and Wellness

Health matters: WNBA star Napheesa Collier on her commitment to women’s reproductive health

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Minnesota lynx

Napheesa Collier will not be only a WNBA superstar for the Minnesota Lynx and a two-time Olympic gold medalist, but additionally the mother of her daughter Mila and an advocate for women’s reproductive health rights.

It recently decided to partner with Opill®, the primary and only every day contraceptive pill available over-the-counter within the United States. This breakthrough represents a major step forward in women’s health care by providing a convenient and accessible contraceptive option. With Opill, women not need to visit health care facilities for prescriptions, making it easier than ever to take control of their reproductive health.

The collaboration relies on Opill®’s long-standing partnership with the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA). “One of the reasons Opill® partnered with the WNBA is the great passion of players who use their platform to support causes they believe in,” said Leila Bahbah, leading women’s health brand at Perrigo within the US. “Napheesa exudes this passion, and together we plan to educate and empower people to take control of their reproductive health.”

Collier advocates for girls and says she is willing to have conversations, even in the event that they are difficult. “I just truly believe in everything they do at Opill®. I believe it’s important to talk to people who may become pregnant and to women about the reproductive health and contraceptive options available to them,” Collier tells ESSENCE.

He continues: “I want people to know that if they want contraception, Opill® is a great option. It is the first over-the-counter drug approved by the FDA. It is inexpensive, available. You don’t need a prescription to get it. I think that’s a key thing in today’s climate.”

Collier notes that within the off-season, he tries to travel to various colleges to talk to students about their reproductive freedoms. “Talking about this topic is essential to remove the stigma as it should not be considered a shameful topic or something that should not be discussed openly. My mother was a nurse, so it was casual to talk about it in our house, and I want to pass it on to other people too, so I’m very excited about it,” she says.

In the present political climate, many ladies with daughters are concerned about their future and reproductive health. Collier, included. “Especially because I am the mother of a young girl, it is very important to me to be able to raise her in an atmosphere where she knows her reproductive rights and health, that she has access to affordable health care and contraception if she wants it and that she can ask me these questions and have open conversations.”

Collier continues: “It’s back to education. Again, I think it’s harmful that we can’t have open conversations about birth control and other issues that are usually taboo. I think it’s harmful. I think this does a lot of harm to women. It hurts. This is harmful to our society. Being able to talk about these issues and empowering women to learn about their rights and bodies creates a safer and healthier society.”

This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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Health and Wellness

Yes, despite what you’ve heard on TikTok, you still need to use sunscreen

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Summer is nearly here. But as an alternative of using sunscreen, some TikTokers just do that encouraging followers throw it away and forgo sunscreen.

They argue that it’s healthier to forgo sunscreen to get the complete advantages of the sun.

Here’s what the science really says.

How does sunscreen work?

Due to the acute UV environment in Australia, most individuals with pale to olive skin or other risk aspects for skin cancer must accomplish that protect yourself. Applying sunscreen is a key approach to protecting areas that aren’t easily covered by clothing.

Sunscreens work by absorbing or scattering UV rays before they reach the skin and damage DNA or supporting structures corresponding to collagen.

In this photo I (Katie) apply sunscreen only to the appropriate side of my face. Sunscreens absorb and scatter UV light (right side), although it can’t be seen with the naked eye (left side). The photo on the appropriate also shows where sun spots (dark spots) accumulate on my skin and where I do not care to apply sunscreen evenly – under the attention, on the cheek and completely missing the ear.
The creator provided/UQ

When UV molecules hit DNA, the surplus energy can damage our DNA. This damage might be repaired, but when the cell divides before the error is repaired, it causes a mutation that may lead to skin cancer.

The energy of the UV particle (photon) causes the DNA strands to break and reconnect incorrectly. This causes a tumor within the DNA strand, which makes accurate copying difficult and might introduce mutations.
NASA/David Herring

The most typical skin cancers are basal cell carcinoma (BCC) and squamous cell carcinoma (SCC). Melanoma is less common but most definitely spreads throughout the body; this process known as metastasis.

Two against three At least the Australians will one skin cancer during their lives they usually reconcile 80% all cancers in Australia.

About 99% of skin cancers in Australia are attributable to overexposure to UV radiation.

Excessive exposure to UV radiation also affects the looks of the skin. UVA rays are able to penetrate deep into the skin, where they break down supporting structures corresponding to elastin and collagen.

This causes signs premature agingcorresponding to deep wrinkles, brown or white spots and broken capillaries.

Sunscreen may also help prevent skin cancer

Consistently used sunscreen reduces the danger of skin cancer and slows skin aging.

In Queensland studyparticipants either used sunscreen day by day for nearly five years or continued their usual use.

After five years, the danger of squamous cell cancer was reduced within the day by day group 40% compared to the second group.

Ten years later, the danger of developing invasive melanoma was reduced within the group of individuals taking the drug day by day 73%

Do sunscreens block the health-promoting properties of sunlight?

The answer is a little more complicated and involves a personalised risk-benefit trade-off.

First, the excellent news: spending time within the sun has many health advantages don’t rely under the influence of UV radiation and aren’t affected by the use of sunscreens.

A woman applies sunscreen
Sunscreens only filter out UV rays, not all light.
Ron Lach/Pexels

Sunscreens only filter UV rays, not visible light or infrared light (which we feel as heat). Importantly, a number of the advantages of sunlight are obtained through Eyes.

Visible light improves mood and regulates and possibly reduces circadian rhythm (which influences the sleep-wake cycle). myopia (myopia) in children.

Infrared light is being researched as a treatment for several conditions skin, neurological, psychiatric AND autoimmune disorders.

So what is the good thing about exposing your skin to UV radiation?

Sun exposure produces vitamin D, which is crucial for healthy bones and muscles.

Vitamin D deficiency is surprisingly common amongst Australians, peaking in Victoria at 49% in winter and lowest in Queensland at 6% in summer.

Fortunately, individuals who deal with sun protection can avoid vitamin D deficiency taking a complement.

Skin exposure to UV radiation could have advantages independent of vitamin D production, but these haven’t been proven. It may reduce the danger of autoimmune diseases corresponding to multiple sclerosis or cause the discharge of a chemical that may lower blood pressure. However, there aren’t enough details about these advantages to say whether sunscreen can be an issue.

What does this mean for you?

Exposure of the skin to UV radiation may provide some advantages that could be blunted by sunscreens. This determines whether it’s value giving up these advantages to avoid skin cancer how susceptible you have skin cancer.

If you have pale skin or other aspects that increase your risk of skin cancer, try to use sunscreen day by day on all days when the forecast UV index reaches 3.

If you have darker skin that rarely or never burns, you might want to skip using sunscreen on daily basis – although you’ll still need protection when you’re outdoors for prolonged periods of time.

For now, the balance of evidence suggests that it is healthier for people susceptible to skin cancer to proceed using sunscreen, supplementing with vitamin D as needed.

This article was originally published on : theconversation.com
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Health and Wellness

Recipe for change: eliminating health disparities and economic empowerment – the essence

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Via Griffin/Getty Images

Throughout the 12 months, the Global Black Economic Forum held quite a few select conversations focused on solutions to the most pressing economic and social issues facing marginalized communities. One of those issues – too often missed – is the link between Black health and wealth. If we do not start eliminating health disparities and inequalities today, we cannot give you the chance to construct wealth for the future.

This intersection was the focus of an event we hosted in August as a part of our cooking talk series. It was held on Martha’s Vineyard, round the corner National Medical Scholarships (NMF), the Black World Economic Forum had the opportunity to satisfy with NMF’s unapologetic leader, Michellene Davis. Recognized by Modern Healthcare magazine as certainly one of the 25 most influential minority leaders in healthcare, Michellene’s profession has involved policy advocacy and social change.

Her organization is devoted to increasing the variety of Black, Indigenous and physicians of color through fellowships, service-learning programs, mentoring opportunities and clinical research leadership training.

The conversation revealed two easy and interconnected data points: In the next decade, the United States will experience:huge shortage of doctors while becoming a majority non-white nation. These two trends highlight the need for greater diversity on this field. Studies have shown that patients of color see racially and ethnically diverse physicians. Treatment results are frequently higher.

However, the percentage of black doctors in the US is growing at an alarmingly slow rate – it has only increased by 4% over the last 120 years.. In the face of conservatives’ regressive and destructive attacks on diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts, there has never been a greater need for us to redouble these efforts. The more we are able to improve health outcomes, the higher we’ll give you the chance to seize and compete for economic opportunities in the future. Given the urgent need to deal with health care workforce disparities and their direct impact on Black economic outcomes, it’s equally essential to acknowledge the broader economic opportunities that may drive wealth creation in our communities.

The competition for certainly one of the best economic opportunities in the history of tourism and hospitality – the 2026 FIFA World Cup – was the focus of our other curated conversation. Organized round the corner East Point Congress and Visitors Bureau, we sat down with its president, Chantel Francois. In her position, she is responsible for the development of the tourism industry in the city of East Point, Georgia. Previously, she led economic development and tourism promotion efforts in Atlanta, Trinidad and Tobago.

Francois described how local businesses run by entrepreneurs of color can leverage global events like the FIFA World Cup to extend their brand visibility, increase sales, and even start their very own businesses. She emphasized the importance of partnerships with event organizers, teams and athletes in constructing company awareness. This cooperation can also be crucial as the city government works with many stakeholders to make sure the safety of tourists and maximum economic opportunities for the area people.

When it involves such major events, it is usually essential to instill a way of community pride in each sector wherein an organization competes. This pride translates into a robust bond with travelers that may make them proceed to interact with small businesses or spark curiosity in them to learn more about the community. The 2026 FIFA World Cup has the potential to place tens of millions of dollars into the pockets and communities of individuals of color, and it’s crucial for businesses to begin planning now in the event that they have not already.

This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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