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Are you thinking about dating someone with kids? Read this book first.

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Erica Grace is an creator, lawyer, and parenting dating consultant who believes that a single person (without children) can have a healthy and long-term relationship – dare I say marriage – with a parent.

“I would be bored if I said no,” Grace tells ESSENCE. “I want to fall in love again and I have two children.” The creator is a single mother who can be divorced, but her relationship and experience with dating her parents didn’t start out that way.

The New York native was once single, without children, and dating a person with a daughter. The couple fell in love, got married and had children. Eight years after her wedding, she decided to go away the wedding as a result of infidelity. In the midst of her destruction, Grace decided to show her grief into service. This was the catalyst for her recent book, . The self-help text took six years to jot down, but divorce was the motivation for Grace to place her insights on paper and share them with the world.

“I went into this as a single girl dating her parent. So this situation allowed me to fully understand the different players in a blended family,” the creator tells ESSENCE. “If I will help someone within the situation I’m in – in order that their marriage doesn’t end due to lack of boundaries or lack of preparation – then I feel like I’ve done something about the suffering.”

In , Erica Grace provides a “road map” for navigating what it takes to ascertain a high level of commitment with someone with children, however the creator emphasizes that the book is a tool for stepdads, single parents, and single people dating alike with parents . She explores topics similar to boundary-setting, co-parenting, and step-parenting from her and her interviewees’ perspectives, as their anecdotes are interwoven throughout the text. As single parenthood becomes more common within the United States, with 23% of youngsters living with one parentthere isn’t any doubt about the accuracy of the text, especially for people within the dating pool.

We talked to Grace about what people should know in the event that they’re considering dating someone who has kids (or are even completely against the concept). Here he discusses things to look out for, healthy blended families, the sadness of being separated out of your mother or father, and rather more.

“Boundaries need to be set from the beginning”: Thinking about dating someone with kids? Read this book first.
Courtesy of Erika Grace

The gist: You seemingly start the marriage by discussing your experiences as a young single person dating someone with children – what were your weak points What should others be careful for?

Erica Grace: It’s very easy to get blindsided within the early stages of dating. You are blinded by the sweetness of a baby, you are blinded by love, or perhaps you are even simply lost in infatuation with an individual. That one person you date, love, or desire tells you things that is probably not the entire picture. So if I had more knowledge and knew what to look out for, I might have noticed the flags. To have healthy blended families or healthy parenting relationships, boundaries have to be set from the start. And in order that became the crux of the book.

What are a very powerful things to think about as a single person when establishing a relationship with a parent?

If you are dating a non-custodial parent, you must ask whether the person you are dating has a parenting agreement. How often are they with their child? Do they spend every other weekend with you and never with their child? If so, that is a red flag. Do they contribute financially to the kid’s life? What is the connection between them and the kid’s other biological parent? It will take time to acknowledge the connection between the parent you are dating and your child’s other biological parent, but listen to their communication. If you’re driving with your partner and your child’s other biological parent calls, does your partner answer? How do these people interact; are they friendly? What do text messages seem like between them? You can return 10 years in text messages with my ex-husband. You’ll see every conversation we have ever had, nothing has been deleted. And then you will see the character of our conversations change between April 2023, our divorce, and the current. After this change, there isn’t any indication that I’m related to him.

On the opposite hand, if you’re dating a custodial parent, you need to grasp that your dates will have to be planned – there’s not much room for spontaneity. But ask yourself, what’s their relationship with their child? How do they interact? What are the degrees of respect? Does a mother call her son “my king”? What is their parenting style? How do they discipline their children? Is this completely different from how you would wish to discipline if you had a baby together? Remember that this person’s parenting style probably won’t change.

How should you approach parent and child dating with a couple of person?

Whatever you’re struggling with at once, multiply it by two or three. And in case your partner is messy with one ex but not the opposite, you’re still dealing with a large number. I do not think people must be excluded from the dating pool simply because they’ve a number of exes, but you higher do your due diligence.

In one other chapter you talk about the order of things. You say that in a partnership, God comes first, then the spouse, then the youngsters, after which everyone else. How did this order come about?

When you come from a family unit, there isn’t any doubt who will come first in this situation. In the case of a blended family, the situation is totally different because often the kid existed before the brand new partner. So this could be strange, especially if no boundaries have been set with this child.

So, if you ever allow your child to be within the space where your partner should exist, it would be really uncomfortable when you introduce him to someone recent. So if you’re the variety of woman who calls her son “king,” good luck finding a brand new “king” to bring into this space. Or if you’re a dad who’s connected to your daughter in a way where you confide in her, or if she’s doing the dishes or taking good care of the younger kids, that makes it harder or harder for someone else to come back into that space. You robotically grow to be a nasty stepfather because every little thing changes when a brand new person comes along. The key to this is that you have to be in a really healing space to be certain that you are selecting a superb partner.

But yes, your spouse comes before your kids. You must create this relationship with your spouse, especially when young children are involved. You wish to make certain that you are raising them together as a unit and that each one children, whether or not they were from a previous relationship or out of your relationship, were loved the identical, disciplined the identical and every little thing was equal. And if you do not have this order, your own home might be a large number.

In the book you discuss the difficulty of mourning, more specifically when you break up with parent, then you break up with their child. But as you explained, it goes beyond that. What does mourning seem like when you reunite with your parent and grow to be a part of a blended family?

Oddly enough, the mourning chapter was written before the divorce. It began with me growing up in a family unit and really having to mourn that. I at all times loved my stepdaughter, but I understood that there would at all times be one other adult who would have a say in what was occurring. I also wished she could possibly be at every event. I needed to regret it.

After the divorce, this separation developed. That’s why I feel that as a single person marrying someone with children, you should regret not having a standard family. Then, as a single mom, I needed to mourn the indisputable fact that my children would have to go away home and never be with me at times, which was painful. I wrote a chapter titled “Don’t Throw the Baby Out with the Bathwater” since it focuses on what happens after a wedding ends. What will occur to my relationship with my stepdaughter? I raised her for eight years. It’s unfair to her and unfair to my children and her siblings.

What are your hopes for this book? What type of insights and inspiration can you offer readers, with or without children, who would really like to have a healthy, sustainable and long-lasting relationship?

I hope that married people can use this as a tool to recalibrate. I hope that folks in relationships with individuals who have grow to be stepparents actually read this book – and not only stepparents. They need to grasp their weak points; perhaps they need to give their spouse a voice. Perhaps in some sense they’ve to start out from scratch. I hope this allows people to recalibrate so that they can have a healthier relationship. I also hope that folks in extremely unhealthy relationships may have the strength to go away. There is a chapter within the book titled “Knowing When to Go.” People shouldn’t enter into relationships that cause them pain in any way. Discomfort is okay, pain isn’t.

Single people shouldn’t blindly enter right into a relationship, let alone marriage, with a parent. Ask questions. And for single parents, once you get married the order of things is: God, your spouse and your kids. But when you come together, you come together for yourself and your kids. Choose a partner that is sensible for you and your child.

This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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Health and Wellness

Jury awarded $310 million to parents of teenager who died after falling on a ride at Florida amusement park – Essence

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The family of Tire Sampson, the 14-yr-old who tragically died on an amusement park ride in Orlando, Florida, in 2022, has been awarded $310 million in a civil lawsuit.

Tire, who was visiting ICON Park along with his family on March 24, 2022, fell from the FreeFall drop tower. Although he was taken to a nearby hospital, he didn’t survive his injuries.

Now, greater than two years later, a jury has held the vehicle manufacturer, Austria-based Funtime Handels, responsible for the accident and awarded the Tire family $310 million. According to reports from local news stations WFTV AND KSDKthe jury reached its verdict after about an hour of deliberation.

Tyre’s parents will each receive $155 million, according to attorney spokesman Michael Haggard.

Attorneys Ben Crump and Natalie Jackson, who represented Tyre’s family, shared their thoughts on this landmark decision via X (formerly Twitter). “This ruling is a step forward in holding corporations accountable for the safety of their products,” they said in a statement.

Lawyers stressed that Tyre’s death was attributable to “gross negligence and a failure to put safety before profits.” They added that the ride’s manufacturer had “neglected its duty to protect passengers” and that the substantial award ensured it could “face the consequences of its decisions.”

Crump and Jackson said they hope the result will encourage change throughout the theme park industry. “We hope this will spur the entire industry to enforce more stringent safety measures,” they said. “Tire heritage will provide a safer future for drivers around the world.”

An investigation previously found that Tyre’s harness was locked through the descent, but he dislodged from his seat through the 430-foot fall when the magnets engaged. Tire’s death was ruled the result of “multiple injuries and trauma.”

ICON Park said at the time that it could “fully cooperate” with the authorities.

This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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Health and Wellness

Tireless HIV/AIDS advocate A. Cornelius Baker dies

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HIV/AIDS Advocate, A. Cornelius Baker


A. Cornelius Baker, a tireless advocate of HIV and AIDS testing, research and vaccination, died Nov. 8 at his home in Washington, D.C., of hypertensive, atherosclerotic heart problems, in response to his partner, Gregory Nevins.

As previously reported, Baker was an early supporter for people living with HIV and AIDS within the Nineteen Eighties, when misinformation and fear-mongering in regards to the disease were rampant.

According to Douglas M. Brooks, director of the Office of National AIDS Policy under President Obama, it was Baker’s Christian faith that guided him toward compassion for others.

“He was very kind, very warm and inclusive – his circles, both professional and personal, were the most diverse I have ever seen, and he was guided by his Christian values,” Brooks told the outlet. “His ferocity was on display when people were marginalized, rejected or forgotten.”

In 1995, when he was executive director of the National AIDS Association, Baker pushed for June 27 to be designated National HIV Testing Day.

In 2012, he later wrote on the web site of the Global Health Advisor for which he was a technical advisor that: “These efforts were intended to help reduce the stigma associated with HIV testing and normalize it as part of regular screening.”

https://twitter.com/NBJContheMove/status/1856725113967632663?s=19

Baker also feared that men like himself, black gay men, and other men from marginalized communities were disproportionately affected by HIV and AIDS.

Baker pressured the Clinton administration to incorporate black and Latino people in clinical drug trials, and in 1994 he pointedly told the Clinton administration that he was bored with hearing guarantees but seeing no motion.

According to Lambda Legal CEO Kevin Jennings, yes that daring attitude that defines Baker’s legacy in the world of ​​HIV/AIDS promotion.

“Cornelius was a legendary leader in the fight for equality for LGBTQ+ people and all people living with HIV,” Jennings said in a press release. “In the more than twenty years that I knew him, I was continually impressed not only by how effective he was as a leader, but also by how he managed to strike the balance between being fierce and kind at the same time. His loss is devastating.”

Jennings continued: “Cornelius’ leadership can’t be overstated. For many years, he was one in all the nation’s leading HIV/AIDS warriors, working locally, nationally and internationally. No matter where he went, he proudly supported the HIV/AIDS community from the Nineteen Eighties until his death, serving in various positions including the Department of Health and Human Services, the National Association of Persons with Disabilities AIDS, and the Whitman-Walker Clinic . Jennings explained.

Jennings concluded: “His career also included several honors, including being the first recipient of the American Foundation for AIDS Research Foundation’s organization-building Courage Award. Our communities have lost a pillar in Cornelius, and as we mourn his death, we will be forever grateful for his decades of service to the community.”

Kaye Hayes, deputy assistant secretary for communicable diseases and director of the Office of Infectious Diseases and HIV/AIDS Policy, in her comment about his legacy, she called Baker “the North Star.”.

“It is difficult to overstate the impact his loss had on public health, the HIV/AIDS community or the place he held in my heart personally,” Hayes told Hiv.gov. “He was pushing us, charging us, pulling us, pushing us. With his unwavering commitment to the HIV movement, he represented the north star, constructing coalitions across sectors and dealing with leaders across the political spectrum to deal with health disparities and advocate for access to HIV treatment and look after all. He said, “The work isn’t done, the charge is still there, move on – you know what you have to do.” It’s in my ear and in my heart in the case of this job.

Hayes added: “His death is a significant loss to the public health community and to the many others who benefited from Cornelius’ vigilance. His legacy will continue to inspire and motivate us all.”

Baker is survived by his mother, Shirley Baker; his partner Nevins, who can be senior counsel at Lambda Legal; his sisters Chandrika Baker, Nadine Wallace and Yavodka Bishop; in addition to his two brothers, Kareem and Roosevelt Dowdell; along with the larger HIV/AIDS advocacy community.


This article was originally published on : www.blackenterprise.com
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Health and Wellness

Bovaer is added to cow feed to reduce methane emissions. Does it pass into milk and meat? And is it harmful to humans?

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There are growing concerns in regards to the use of feed supplements, Bowar 10to reduce methane production in cows.

Bovaer 10 consists of silicon dioxide (mainly sand), propylene glycol (food stabilizer approved by Food Safety Australia New Zealand) and lively substance 3-nitrooxypropanol (3-NOP).

There has been an enormous amount of misinformation in regards to the safety of 3-NOP, with some milk from herds fed this additive being labeled “Frankenmilk”. Others feared it could get to humans through beef.

The most significant thing is that 3-NOP is secure. Let’s clear up some major misconceptions.

Why do we want to limit methane production?

In our attempts to limit global warming, we’ve placed the best emphasis on CO₂ because the major man-made greenhouse gas. But methane is also a greenhouse gas, and although we produce less of it, it is: a much stronger greenhouse gas than CO₂.

Agriculture is the largest a man-made source of methane. As cattle herds expand to meet our growing demand for meat and milk, reducing methane production from cows is a vital way to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

There are several ways to do that. Stopping bacteria within the stomachs of cows that produce methane one approach is to produce methane.

The methane produced by cows and sheep doesn’t come from the animals themselves, but from the microbes living of their digestive systems. 3-NO stop the enzymes that perform the last step of methane synthesis in these microorganisms.

3-NOP is not the one compound tested as a feed additive. Australian product based on seaweed, Rumin8for instance, it is also in development. Saponins, soap-like chemicals present in plants, and essential oils as well has been examined.

However, 3-NOP is currently one of the popular effective treatments.

Nitrooxypropanol structure: red balls are oxygen, gray carbon, blue nitrogen and white hydrogen.
PubChem

But is not it poison?

There are concerns on social media that Bovaer is “poisoning our food.”

But, as we are saying in toxicology, it’s the dose that makes the poison. For example, arsenic is deadly 2–20 milligrams per kilogram of body weight.

In contrast, 3-NOP was not lethal on the doses utilized in safety studies, up to 600 mg 3-NOP per kg body weight. At a dose of 100 mg per kg body weight in rats, it didn’t cause any adversarial effects.

What about reproductive issues?

The effect of 3-NOP on the reproductive organs has generated numerous commentary.

Studies in rats and cows showed that doses of 300–500 mg per kg body weight caused: contraction of the ovaries and testicles.

In comparison, to achieve the identical exposure in humans, a 70 kg human would want to eat 21–35 grams (about 2 tablespoons) of pure 3-NOP every day for a lot of weeks to see this effect.

No human will likely be exposed to this amount because 3-NOP doesn’t pass into milk – is fully metabolized within the cow’s intestines.

No cow will likely be exposed to these levels either.

The cow licks itself
Cows will not be exposed to levels tested on animals in laboratory studies.
Ground photo/Shutterstock

What about cancer?

3-NOP is not genotoxic or mutagenicwhich implies it cannot damage DNA. Thus, the results of 3-NOP are dose-limited, meaning that small doses will not be harmful, while very high doses are (unlike radiation where there is no secure dose).

Scientists found that at a dose of 300 mg per kilogram of body weight benign tumors of the small intestine of female ratsbut not male rats, after 2 years of every day consumption. At a dose of 100 mg 3-NOP per kg body weight, no tumors were observed.

Cows eat lower than 2 grams of Bovaer 10 per day (of which only 10% or 0.2 grams is 3-NOP). This is about 1,000 times lower than the appropriate every day intake 1 mg 3-NOP per kg body weight per day for a cow weighing 450 kg.

This level of consumption will likely be not the result in cancer or any of them other adversarial effects.

So how much are people exposed to?

Milk and meat consumers will likely be exposed to zero 3-NOP. 3-NOP doesn’t penetrate milk and meat: is completely metabolized within the cow’s intestines.

Farmers could also be exposed to small amounts of the feed additive, and industrial employees producing 3-NOP will potentially be exposed to larger amounts. Farmers and industrial employees already wear personal protective equipment to reduce exposure to other agricultural chemicals – and it is advisable to do that with Bovear 10 as well.

Milk
3-NOP doesn’t penetrate milk and meat.
Shutterstock

How widely has it been tested?

3-NOP has been in development for 15 years and has been subject to multiple reviews by European Food Safety Authority, UK Food Safety Authority AND others.

It has been extensively tested over months of exposure to cattle and has produced no unintended effects. Some studies actually say so improves the standard of milk and meat.

Bovaer was approved for use in dairy cattle by the European Union from 2022 and Japan in 2024. It is also utilized in many other countries, including: in beef products, amongst others Australia.

A really small amount of 3-NOP enters the environment (lower than 0.2% of the dose taken), no accumulates and is easily decomposed subsequently, it doesn’t pose a threat to the environment.

Since humans will not be exposed to 3-NOP through milk and meat, long-term exposure is not an issue.

What does Bill Gates have to do with this?

Bill Gates has invested in a distinct feed processing method for methane, Australian seaweed-based Rumin8. But he has nothing to do with Bovaer 10.

The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation awarded research grants to the corporate producing 3-NOP for malaria control researchnot for 3-NOP.

The bottom line is that adding 3-NOP to animal feed doesn’t pose any risk to consumers, animals or the environment.

This article was originally published on : theconversation.com
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