Lifestyle
What does Monica and Brandy’s meeting in “The Boy Is Mine” tell us about the fragility of female friendships
Last week, Ariana Grande threw a bit of nostalgia back into the top 100 hits by releasing a contemporary version of her 1998 hit “The Boy is Mine,” which featured the duo’s original vocalists Monica and Brandy. Taking a walk down memory lane, Monica revealed how working on the Grande project healed her decades-long rift with Brandy.
“The new collaboration process has largely bridged the gaps,” Monica said Entertainment tonight. “When you communicate properly, you can find not only solutions and solutions to problems, but sometimes it turns out that there were never any problems, only constant misunderstandings.”
Even though their duet topped the Billboard charts for nearly 13 weeks after its release, Monica and Brandy’s relationship was notoriously strained. Even before the release of their hit, the R&B singers consistently opposed one another in the media, a lot in order that Brandy originally suggested the idea of a joint song to silence rumors of hatred amongst the creators at the time. Although they were reportedly friends and on the same level at the time of the single’s release, things took a turn for the worse shortly after when Monica reportedly broke up punched Brandy backstage at the 1998 MTV Music Video Awards.
Since then, the “So Gone” and “Right There” singers have occasionally thrown little jabs at one another on social media, and their interactions have been limited over the past twenty years. In 2020, the ’90s R&B icons shocked fans once they faced one another in a “Verzuz” battle that, in keeping with Monica, required lots of maturity.
“I wouldn’t call it anyone’s fault,” Monica said before the battle, per Entertainment tonight. “We all contributed to it and after some time it became a reality… It’s over. And it required a really adult conversation. There’s no shame in saying that.”
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Now, 4 years later, the singer credits Grande with further mending the rift between her and Brandy.
“The conversation itself made it much easier for me,” she added. “We decided the key was to maintain other people out of our relationship, each skilled and personal, and keep it between her and me, and that modified all the pieces. That completely modified the trajectory of the whole thing… My son was in the hospital in the future and she was the one I talked to while he was there – that is what Ariana did that he may not even realize.
Whatever the reason for his or her strained relationship, Brandy and Monica’s complex friendship reflects a broader phenomenon amongst women. In his book “Fighting for our friendships: the science and art of conflict and connection in women’s relationships”, writer Danielle Bayard Jackson explores the unique intricacies of female friendships.
“The way girls and boys come together and react to certain situations showed me our unique ways of bonding and resolving conflict,” Jackson said Psychology today. “Research suggests that ladies have higher expectations for support and intimacy in their close relationships than men. Women integrate friends into our lives as deeply as siblings, while men treat their friends more like cousins. With such high expectations, even minor conflicts can look like major violations. I do know I’m generalizing, but we often know that men aren’t as closely connected, so perhaps they do not see or hang around with one another as much (as women do).”
In addition to highlighting the differences between male and female relationships, Jackson emphasized the importance of conflict in friendship. Although most individuals view conflict in friendship negatively, the writer emphasizes that these moments are opportunities to grow and strengthen the bond – an idea echoed by Monica when talking about her friendship with Brandy.
“This time I thank God for growth and change, and for becoming a mother and experiencing a lot of what I have and learning to communicate properly,” Monica said, reflecting on the evolution of her relationship with Brandy. “We have lots of catching as much as do in terms of giving audiences what they really wanted from us back then. We didn’t discover a technique to do it then, but we’ll discover a technique to do it now.”
Lifestyle
What now after the controversial and emotional elections? ‘Joy Lady’ Tracey Michae’l Lewis-Giggetts speaks out
If you are struggling emotionally and do not know where to search for hope and joy following the 2024 US presidential election results, you are not alone.
Apart from about half the country, even the self-proclaimed “Lady of Joy” Tracey Michae’l Lewis-Giggetts goes through difficult times after the elections.
The thought leader, author and storyteller explained that in the first few days after the election, she didn’t know the best way to lead others to joy, “in a way that did not seem to be I used to be diminishing their rightful rage; the legitimate grief and sadness that folks feel.”
She continued, “And that is why I struggle a bit bit, since it’s like I’m Lady Joy, right? So it’s as much as me to bring joy and I’m trying to search out it for myself. I’m attempting to do the work I’ve been doing for the previous couple of years, locate the joy in my body, to be clear about my next move.
While it might be hard to wrap your head around joy right now, Lewis-Giggetts, writer of “Black Joy: Stories of Resistance, Resilience, and Reconstruction” and its recent sequel, “Black Joy Guide: 30 Days of Intentionally Reclaiming Pleasure”, believes that joy is precisely what people scuffling with difficulties need right now.
“I will say that even in the midst of my struggles, I still believe that joy and reclaiming joy, accessing joy, is a huge factor in how we move forward,” she said.
Lewis-Giggetts said that ultimately, joy can grow to be our best asset. But you have got to make the time and effort to search out the joy, to “own” it.
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“Yes, joy now becomes a tool of resistance; but also a tool for healing,” she said, adding: “In particular, we can now wield our joy, our humanity, we can wield our…all the ways that we enter the world, we can wield it in a way that denies what that person (and) these entities are trying to do.”
But she added: “We can’t rule what we don’t have access to. We cannot rule what we are not willing to appease and conquer.”
Calming down and gaining joy can appear like various things to many various people. For Lewis-Giggetts, searching for laughter – in her case, Netflix stand-up specials, gardening, and walking – are a few of the ways she finds joy.
“HEARTConversation” the podcast host said that finding joy can be relatively simple. It doesn’t have to be reserved for big things like vacations, milestones, and important moments. It could be meditation, journaling, or even gathering people and being around those you love. It could even be as seemingly minimal as putting on Beyoncé’s “Cozy” during a moment of author’s block and dancing to it, she said.
“I think the next thing we need to do is give people enough peace to access all the parts – the ways, the sadness and the joy that live simultaneously in our bodies,” Lewis-Giggetts said. “So that we can get the message about the next step; what will be the next move.”
For those that rightly ask, “What now?” or what the next move will probably be, she admitted. “I do not know what the next move will probably be. I wish we had… How will we organize ourselves? What are we doing? Will we just leave here with ‘Blaxit’ or will we stay and fight?”
Lewis-Giggetts clearly states that we must first respect the space we want to process. “What I know is that we won’t be as effective as we want to be, regardless of the response, if we don’t take steps here to redress the balance,” she said. “(To) regenerate, refresh and (and), you know, access joy.”
Lifestyle
Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade celebrate daughter Kaavia’s 6th birthday
Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade’s daughter Kaavia, often called the “suspicious baby” online, is not any longer a baby. On November 7, Union and Wade celebrated their daughter’s sixth birthday. Posting a carousel of photos and videos, the parents wrote Kaavia a sweet birthday message Instagram.
“Miss Kaavia James Union Wade turns 6 today!” They wrote in a joint post. “You are a miracle who has blessed everyone with your kindness, compassion, elitist humor, intelligence and loving soul.”
“You are a gift to your family, blood and chosen ones, as well as to many people around the world,” they added. “We love you beyond measure and celebrate your adorable little self every day!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN KAAVIA!!!”
In 2018, the actress and NBA star welcomed Kaavia via surrogate, which Union said was a difficult decision. In his book “Got Something Stronger?” Union reflected on her fertility journey. After being diagnosed with adenomyosis – a disease affecting the uterine mucosa – and several miscarriages, the star recalls how her doctor really helpful surrogacy, which she admits she was not ready for.
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“I wasn’t ready for this. I desired to experience being pregnant. Watching my body expand and change to accommodate this miracle inside me. I also desired to experience being pregnant in a public place,” she said in a reflective essay published in the magazine ” Time magazine.. “…Why did I need to risk it a lot for the prospect (to have a baby)? If there was one other method to have a baby and be healthy, why was it so hard for me to simply accept it?
Despite fertility issues, Union, now 52, says she doesn’t regret becoming a mother at 46.
“I became a mother at the right time because I was healed,” she shared earlier Instagram. “And I committed to healing forever, so I didn’t pass on all this generational trauma to Kaav… if I had been a day younger, or even certainly 10, 15, 20 years earlier, I would have passed on too much traumatic stuff to my child.”
Kaavia is the youngest member of Union and Wade’s blended family. The couple can be parents to Wade’s son Zaire and daughter Zaya, whom he shares along with his ex-wife Siohvaughn Funches, and son Xavier, whom he shares with Aja Metoyer. Wade can be the legal guardian of his nephew, Dahveon Morris.
As a toddler, Kaavia’s personality shone through in her parents’ social media posts, which captured their daughter’s hilariously serious faces. From her signature side eye to her lovely smile, Kaavia quickly became known on social media as Union’s beloved “suspicious baby.”
“I love that there’s a Shady Baby, and a Shady Baby is just someone who won’t dance for you when you say now. She already has her own opinion at the age of four and a half months,” said the actress People Magazine in 2019. “I hope he keeps the same energy, that when he feels like smiling, he smiles, and when he doesn’t, he doesn’t (smile). You either catch the mood or you don’t, but she will stay true to herself.”
Lifestyle
Halle Bailey’s reaction to seeing her son on Kai Cenat’s livestream sparks a discussion about putting children online
Halle Bailey doesn’t like the thought of her son, Halo, being exposed to tens of millions of individuals. Last night, the “Little Mermaid” star sparked debate when she took to Twitter to express her disapproval of her ex-boyfriend and child’s father: DDG, bring their 9-month-old son to social media star Kai Cenat’s non-stop livestream on Twitch.
“Just so you know, I’m out of town and I refuse to allow my child to be streamed tonight,” Bailey wrote in a now-deleted tweet. “I was not told or notified and I am very sad that I am having a baby in front of millions of people. I am his mother and guardian and I am sorry that I was not notified, especially when I am out of town.”
While most individuals can understand a mother wanting to protect her child, many social media users were confused by the star’s outrage as she previously posted her son’s face on her social media platforms. After hiding her pregnancy from the world amid speculation, Bailey and her ex, who can be a rapper and content creator, gave their tens of millions of followers glimpses of their lives as parents.
“Halle posts Halo on Snapchat all day every day, but it’s Twitch that (crosses) the line?” one user commented X.
However, many users understood Bailey’s concerns. Cenat is a popular streamer on Twitch who always breaks records for prime viewership and subscriber numbers on the platform. Moreover, the live streamer has already gone viral before dangerous staged stunts through the live broadcast, which several social media users noted as: concern for safety.
“Halle not wanting her child to participate in a livestream full of naive teenagers and young adults is completely understandable. (You) really hate women because the Halle Bailey hate train is crazy.” wrote one other user. “Not to mention the wild shit they do on the published. (L)literally constant acrobatics, shooting fireworks, swearing and loud music. I would not want my child to take part in such a live broadcast either.”
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After her initial tweet, Bailey further explained why she found the situation disrespectful.
“As a woman experiencing difficult labor, there are boundaries that I want to be respected. “No one knows what someone is going through until they break,” she added, before ultimately deleting her X and Instagram accounts.
This is not the primary time Bailey has opened up about her struggles with postpartum depression, or PPD. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, PPD is a mood disorder that affects one in eight moms after giving birth.
During the published, viewers speculated that DDG was reacting to Bailey’s comments rap freestylesaying, “I don’t care what I do; I can’t get canceled.” Since the backlash, Cenat has made no comments apart from to tell viewers that that is a difficulty for fogeys to cope with, and he “there is no information about this.”
Bailey and DDG announced their son’s arrival on Instagram in January 2024. In early October, the co-parents announced the tip of their two-year relationship.
“After much thought and honest conversations, Halle and I have decided that each of us will go our separate ways,” the rapper wrote on Instagram. according to People magazine. “The decision was not easy, but we believe it is the best path for both of us. I treasure the time we spent together and the love we shared. Despite changes in our relationships, our love for each other remains deep and true. We are still best friends and adore each other.”
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