— Pastor Keion D. Henderson

Henderson talks in regards to the devil. Satan. Lucifer. Beelzebub. Prince of Darkness. Lord of the Flies. Mephistopheles. God’s adversary and Jesus’ nemesis (try saying it thrice).

I all the time wondered where the devil lived.

I do know that before he attended Duke University, he sang tenor within the God Mass Choir artistic program. According to reports, he is a Confederate sympathizer George Danielsbriefly the Devil he went to Georgia to participate in a Verzuz match. But since he lost his golden violin, he left. Admittedly, Satan has probably heard this famous Negro spiritual “No more fun in GA” by renowned theologian Pastor Troy.

Henderson is the founder, CEO and senior pastor Lighthouse Church and Ministriesa sprawling megachurch in Houston, Texas. Henderson is married to Shaunie Henderson, the ex-wife of Shaquille O’Neal. But Keion is not outshone by his wife, a reality star and business mogul, or her husband. Keion is also an incredible player who signed a contract with one of probably the most profitable corporations on the earth:

White Jesus.

Henderson often works as a spokesman for Christ’s Caucasian celebrities. He gained popularity thanks to his short story Holy Spirit to STFU and most recently served as a company fundraiser for construction company God, asking each parishioner for $2,100 to cover construction costs after Jesus’ daddy renovated the megachurch in Henderson during a hurricane. To be fair, in a 2023 sermon titled “All about the Benjamins” – the prophet of prosperity explained why giving to him is more necessary than giving to those in need. “There is no other blessing in blessing the poor than the recovery of what you have given them, but there is no multiplication,” Henderson preached. “When you give to the poor, all you are doing is helping them, but you are not helping yourself… Love does not bring wealth; Only the tithe does this.” But that is what poor Jesus told him to say.

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Henderson’s contract with our Father who lives in heaven for the poor expressly doesn’t include a non-compete clause. He is also willing to repeat some of Lucifer’s best lines and the oldest anti-black arguments. In a recently released clip from his 2022 sermon, Henderson definitely gives the Devil his due. Although Professor Grift doesn’t explicitly name “spirit,” any good Christian understands why they need to wear Satan-proof suits – because there is just one enemy who can face Jesus in a Ju-Jitsu match.

“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil,” we read in a Christian scripture worker handbook. “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

According to the Chief Communications Officer of the Supreme Apparently, this “spirit” outsmarted the all-powerful, all-knowing God and condemned one particular country to three centuries of poverty.

First, each time someone begins a press release with, “With all due respect,” you’ll be able to be certain they’re about to utter some disrespectful nonsense. I’m sure it’s within the Bible. (It’s in the identical chapter Keion Henderson found: “Fuck the needy. We have to get this paper.” Probably Scams.)

Secondly, with all due respect, Keion Henderson has no idea what the hell he’s talking about. I’ve discussed this 1,000,000 times articles, social media posts ia literal book. However, to bring awareness to the enlightened followers of this particular prosperity scammer, here is a fast fact sheet of all the knowledge that the Disinformation Minister got fallacious.

1. No: “African slaves This is what enslaved Africans and brought them to the island of Hispaniola 1505 (He was only 200 years late).
2. Africans didn’t bring voodoo from Africa: Although Vodou, or “voodoo”, has its roots in Africa, it is actually an adaptation of Christianity and West African spirituality and rituals that date back to 6000 years. In fact, most Vodou practitioners do
3. This is not unique to Haiti: Louisianans practice voodoo. Among the Geechie Gullah of South Carolina, Hoodoo is a mixed African-Christian-African religion. Cubans practice Santeria. Dominicans practice Vudú.
4. This is not why Haiti is poor: While the unread reverend would have you think that the Dominican Republic has an anointing-based economy, the Dominican Republic (94.9%) as likely as Haitians (94.3%). And each countries are like that
5. But the devil: There are too many variations to define voodoo more broadly, but generally speaking, although malevolent entities exist, the practice does probably not have a direct equivalent to Satan.
6. There is an excellent reason for Henderson’s ignorance: The answer is white supremacy.

The Haitian Revolution actually began with Water ceremony and ended with the defeat of Napoleon’s army, British navy and Spanish Armada by Black Haitians in the most important and simplest slave revolt within the history of the planet. This event shocked the Western world, including a brand recent country within the north whose entire economy was based on a race-based, constitutionally imposed system of extracting labor and mental property through violence or the threat of violence (probably just called “slavery”).

To prevent freed Haitians from mounting an identical rebel, the leader of this newborn slave society (you almost certainly just call him Thomas Jefferson) doubled the dimensions of his country (you almost certainly call it the Louisiana Purchase). France sold the Louisiana Territory, got out of the slave business entirely, and turned to the United States (together with other white-owned countries) for assist in collecting the equivalent $21 billion in reparations. Almost for over 125 years 80% of the Haitian government the revenues were used to service the debt. Western powers not only forced Haiti to pay this amount “independence ransom” until France canceled the debt in 2015, but the debt collector was an American company (you probably call it CitiBank).

That’s why Haiti is poor.

The United States and Western Europe haven’t been accomplished. In one of the best propaganda campaigns in history, he blamed the Western world the country’s poverty on black religion practiced by 2.1% population. In fact, many rituals commonly related to this religion, including: voodoo dolls, human sacrifice AND satanic cultare actually European practices. Henderson could be shocked to learn that 200 years later income inequality is more closely linked to religion.

But to illustrate that each one white supremacist propaganda is correct. Even if there was a Christian God who would sacrifice his child so that everybody could eat the flesh and drink the blood of a resurrected zombie messiah, why would God hate freedom? If he was so keen on punishing those that offended Christian sensibilities, why aren’t white people poor? There is just one logical reason why an omnipotent, omniscient being would give white people a pass:

Apparently Jesus is a white supremacist.

This is the one logical explanation. It’s possible that “Cash” Keion believes that freedom-seeking Black people deserve more anger than the people and governments which have inflicted 200 years of economic and political vengeance on innocent people. Perhaps the Holy Spirit impostor doesn’t know that the Haitian Revolution began with Dutty Bookman praying to “the god who created the earth; who created the sun, which gives us light… who sustains the ocean; who makes the thunder roar.” But if poverty is the ultimate punishment, then Lighthouse Ministries is simply a sanctuary for human traffickers, thieves, extortionists, liars and white supremacists. Keion Henderson may not want his members toreject the image of the white man’s god who desires our tears” or “listen to the voice of freedom that speaks to all our hearts,” but look on the intense side:

At least we all know where the devil lives.

Michael Harriot is an economist, cultural critic and master level Spades player. His New York Times bestseller is available wherever books are sold.