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On Rapsody’s “Loose Rocks” and the Remorse of an Alzheimer’s Survivor — Andscape

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September 13 on ESPN was mine “Rhapsody moment.” Talking about my mother, who has Alzheimer’s, on national television for the first time was cathartic. It was also directly inspired by the North Carolina MC and her song “Loose rocks”, which deals with dementia, a form of Alzheimer’s disease.

Rhapsody said that “(allowing) myself to be human” was a brand new, out-of-body experience on her deeply personal recent album, y. But the quaver in her voice on this song was all too familiar.

“,” she told her Aunt Dale, whom she calls her “second mother” in the song.

“I remember when I was myself,” my mother told me last week. “I just don’t know how to be myself.”

As we have fun World Alzheimer’s Day, the emotions expressed in these two quotes are part of my life story.

On “Loose Rocks,” the Snow Hill, North Carolina native peels back the layers of her aunt Dale’s dementia diagnosis. “She raps, ‘In the hundreds of conversations I’ve had with my mother since her diagnosis, this is her greatest fear. She forgets a lot these days, but she doesn’t forget the things she’s most afraid of losing. There will come a day when she doesn’t recognize who I am. When she doesn’t remember everything we’ve been through as a parent and a child. But most importantly, when she doesn’t remember the grandchildren and daughter-in-law she’s always prayed for. It’s hard to know what to say when these conversations come up, and honestly, I haven’t figured it out yet. I don’t know if I ever will, because how do you tell the person in charge of your life that the very essence of who they are won’t be a memory? They’ll never know they ever existed.’”

“Loose Rocks” isn’t an exact replica of my life. But the anger, sadness, and fear expressed in the song are only as palpable. At some point in the past two years, becoming a parent, essentially my mother, became an inevitable part of my life. Paying bills, scheduling doctor’s appointments, filing taxes, talking to lawyers to rearrange wills—it’s hard to assume all of that becoming a component of life. And yet, it’s even harder to assume life without it.

She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a couple of days before Christmas last 12 months, and symptoms began appearing no less than two years earlier. The consensus I’ve gotten from countless individuals who have reached out to me since this piece is that their family members have lived with the disease for 4 to seven years. How much time do I even have left with my mother? How do I prepare for the emotional burden when it inevitably gets worse? How do I live in a moment after I can’t stop serious about the whole thing? And what did she do to deserve this? These are only a snapshot of the questions that paralyze me day by day.

My mother’s stroke and automotive accident were clear signs. I’ll all the time imagine that the quarantine and the coronavirus pandemic did irreversible damage. She kept saying, “I feel different.” Or, “Something is wrong. I just don’t know what.” A natural extrovert, she was forced into isolation. That isolation modified the woman who raised me. Physically, it’s still there. But looking into her eyes, you may see it is a woman fighting to carry on to the pride that made her who she was — but it surely’s a disease that feeds on itself, emotionally crippling her patients and family members. She can still do some tasks on her own, and her commitment to, as she says, “beating this thing” is inspiring. Her indecision is painful now. Her confidence sometimes ebbs and flows by the hour. We communicate day by day via FaceTime, phone calls, and texts. But seeing her misspelled words, especially after spending her life as a teacher, creates a burden that may’t be ignored. The image of him sitting at the kitchen table practicing writing along with his left hand is burned into my brain. Writing with the “non-active” hand helps with cognitive function, or so the doctors tell us.

My parents divorced in 1988, and from there my mother and I moved to my grandmother’s house in central Virginia. They have lived together ever since. At 93, my grandmother, who resides with breast cancer, is quick to inform me that she doesn’t have one other 93 years ahead of her. She recently returned from the hospital after a gentle stroke that she doesn’t remember. My grandmother continuously jogs my memory about the checking account she arrange that may pay for her funeral and burial costs, and “whatever is left, you’ll make the best decision.”

Like RhapsodyMy father and I never had a relationship. I wore our lack of connection almost like a badge of honor. The feeling was greater than mutual, if he didn’t need a relationship with me. Lately, though, I felt offended and resentful.

My mother all the time tells me she’s afraid of being alone. In the future, I’ll sell the house I grew up in and move her into an assisted living facility. I’m wondering what that may do to her Alzheimer’s. Will it speed it up? Will it slow it down? But the query I ask most frequently is pointless. Why did my father’s actions a long time ago ultimately leave my mother alone in a spot she doesn’t know?

The questions we cannot answer are the most difficult.

2023 study by the University of Exeter and King’s College London examined the impact of the pandemic on the brain health of people over the age of 50. Published in the journal, the study found that older people’s memory deteriorated significantly in the first 12 months of the pandemic (and even after quarantine), regardless of whether or not they had contracted the virus. The study found that cognitive decline was exacerbated by aspects reminiscent of loneliness and depression.

During the pandemic, my mother continuously spoke about how lonely she felt and how often she cried about not having the ability to see her family. As an outgoing and extroverted one who was all the time shuttling between Washington, D.C., Virginia, and wherever her beloved South Carolina State Bulldogs were playing football, the change in lifestyle during the lockdown did irreversible damage to my mother.

The most crippling reality of Alzheimer’s/dementia is the stripping away of an individual’s dignity. The person isn’t who they’re or who they may eventually change into. My mother struggles to take care of the independence she has proudly carried throughout my life. But the effects are visible. In the same conversation where she asks the same query five times in five minutes—like when her next therapist appointment is, or when my daughter’s birthday is so she will write it down on her phone—she may offer you the lyrics to her favorite Luther Vandross song or anything related to her college alumni chapter.

Karen Marshall and her grandson Huey visit the Children’s Museum of Richmond in Virginia.

Justin Tinsley

I took her and my son to the Children’s Museum of Richmond this summer. She did nothing but push a stroller while her grandson played with toys, but the joy in her eyes jogged my memory of the woman I’ve all the time loved. As we drove home, she said, “Thank you for making me feel like a real grandma today. I needed this more than you know. I know I won’t get to do it again, so I appreciate it.” That positivity didn’t fade even when she got a phone call a short time later and was told she needed a checkup for her surgery the week before. In that moment, all she wanted was the peace she’d spent years trying to find. Alzheimer’s would eventually rob her of that feeling, but not then. That smile on her face is something I’ll always remember.

What is so bad is how Alzheimer’s takes away time. This stress has affected every part of my life, including marriage and parenting. The conversation with my friend on Wednesday might have been God speaking through her.

“Justin, knowing what I know about your personality, you can’t be everyone’s Superman,” she told me. “You’ll break down and it’ll take years to get back on your feet. You can’t afford that luxury with kids. Or marriage. Because they remember you the way they remember you.”

In a world dominated by Alzheimer’s, being here and now is difficult because I’m clinging to the past. The woman she was once. The relationship we had before all the things turned the other way up. The life she fantasized about but never knew. But it isn’t fair. Not to me, my children, my wife, and even my mother. What matters is the future. I can not lose my mother and family to Alzheimer’s. She would never forgive me for that.

I still have not come to terms together with her diagnosis and there is a likelihood I never will. Her love stays the same, but I see that the disease is already taking away the one one who has known me longer than I even have known myself.

Every day, every hour, with one and all, this type of emotional theft is depressingly fruitful. Money is all the time needed, but somewhere along the way we realize that experiences are the strongest currency. Experiences create memories, and that’s all we will take with us.

It’s hard to say whether “Loose Rocks” will likely be the best song of 2024. But I can say that there probably won’t be a more essential song to me. This song makes me take into consideration what was, what’s now, and what could occur in the next few years. I could never have imagined a world where my mother couldn’t be the grandmother she all the time embodied, and that’s a reality I struggle with each day. In life, we control the things we will control and let all the things else play out the way it does. I can’t control my mother’s Alzheimer’s the same way Rapsody can’t control her aunt’s dementia. “Loose Rocks” isn’t only a painful song. It’s a stupendous song. But it’s also a reminder of responsibility and blessings.

If we’re lucky, we will see our parents get older. Visits mean more, and phone calls change into ornaments that we supply with us for the rest of our lives. Nothing in life is fair or free, because even happiness has its price.

Cover notes

Justin Tinsley is a senior culture author at Andscape. He believes that “Cash Money Records takin’ ova for da ’99 and da 2000” is the most influential statement of his generation.


This article was originally published on : andscape.com
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Widow of Stephen ‘tWitch’ boss Allison Holker slammed for dating a white boy after years of naive comments about raising children in white communities

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Allison Holker, widow of Stephen “tWitch” Boss, is clearly living her best life along with her recent man, but some fans aren’t too completely happy along with her.

On November 20, Holker posted a photo of her and her boyfriend Adam Edmunds embracing in what appears to be a street. She wore a dark dress with matching heels while her lover kept it casual in light pants and a dark shirt.

Stephen “tWitch” Boss’s widow, Allison Holker, is being slammed for finding love again two years after losing her husband. (Photo: @sir_twitch_alot/Instagram)

She wrote: “Thankful and happy! @adam.edmunds” in the caption.

Before dating Edmunds, Holker was on target to succeed in 10 years of marriage to “So You Think You Can Dance” star Stephen “TWitch” Boss. The couple met in 2006, but only made their relationship public in 2012. They married a yr later, in 2013.

However, Boss tragically committed suicide in December 2022, leaving Holker with two children and a stepdaughter with Holker.

Since her soft begin to her relationship with Edmunds, Holker has faced criticism about her leaving the Boss too quickly.

One person commented on this topic post“I frolicked in her shoes. My husband committed suicide a month after Twitch, which was almost 2 years ago, and I can not even imagine being in a relationship with someone that quickly. I even have two daughters who lost their dad and that is what I’m focused on without delay.”

Another one that responded in a different way said, “Can I just remind everyone who says ‘she moved on quickly’ that the marriage vows are ’till death do us part’ and NOT ’till death do us part’ you then will likely be sad for 10 years.” I can move on! Be completely happy for her. She has someone who will love her again and people beautiful girls of hers. If you possibly can’t be completely happy for her then possibly don’t comment…. I’m just saying…”

But another person felt concern for Holker’s two mixed-race children, Maddox, 8, and her 5-year-old daughter Zaia, whom she had with Boss.

The commenter, who is seemingly also a white woman with mixed children, said: “Why do so many WW have black children and then choose WM? I hope you teach your children about their culture and the reason…jmo.”

This is a topic that Holker considered. She and Boss were interviewed on “Entertainment Tonight” in 2020, when the Black Lives Matter movement was at its peak. Two parents expressed it their younger children were too young to grasp, regardless that Holker’s oldest daughter, Weslie Fowler, 16, asked questions and talked to her adolescent friends.

Holker even admitted to being “naive” about the subject at times because he grew up in a “very white community.”

But she said, “It’s time for us to tear down these walls. We have to open our eyes (to the fact) that this is really happening,” Holker said. “Just saying you’re not racist is not enough. We need to join in and help, because we are all in this fight. This is our world. This is the human race and we all need to be together and united.”

Later, the creator, entrepreneur and Boss said they might discuss the subject with their children after they become old. Holker continued: “We have mixed children and we would like to share this recommendation, this role and this education with them. “I think we’re not just educating our kids, but we really just want to educate others.”


This article was originally published on : atlantablackstar.com
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Lil Wayne, GloRilla and more will headline the Atlanta college football concert series

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Lil Wayne, GloRilla, Lil Wayne and GloRilla, Lil Wayne GloRilla AT&T Playoff Playlist Live!, Lil Wayne Glorilla State Farm Arena, AT&T Playoff Playlist Live!, college football concert series, Lil Wayne Glorilla college football concert, theGrio.com

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Lil Wayne, GloRilla AND Camila Cabello are preparing to make their presence felt during the holiday concert series leading as much as the college football national championship game.

On Thursday, it was announced that the hit makers will headline the AT&T Playoff Live! will begin on January 18 at State Farm Arena in Atlanta. The two-day series will happen before National College Football Playoff Championship January 20, the same day as the presidential inauguration and Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

“The incredible line-up for this year’s AT&T Playoff Live playlist! will deliver an unforgettable experience in Atlanta where sports and music thrive together,” said Mark Wright, vice chairman of media services and sponsorships at AT&T. “It’s a great way to kick off the championship weekend and keep fans excited, regardless of which team they support.”

Hip-hop stars Lil Wayne and GloRilla will take the stage on January 18. Singers Camila Cabello, Myles Smith and Knox are expected to perform on January 19.

Along with a series of live shows, country music artists Kane Brown and Ashley Cooke will perform in the Allstate Championship Tailgate, which will kick off the game day festivities. The tailgate performance will happen in front of Mercedes-Benz Stadium at Georgia International Plaza and The Home Depot Backyard.

Championship game ticket holders will have access to the tailgate concert.

Playoff Playlist Tickets Live! the series will go on sale on November 25 at 10:00 a.m. EST.

Previous performers in the concert series include Lenny Kravitz, Jack Harlow, Latto, Saweetie, Pitbull, Doja Cat, Usher, Meghan Trainor and Sting.

This article was originally published on : thegrio.com
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Richard Lawson’s ‘Lusting’ Over Meagan Good’s Sexy Post Has Fans Recalling His X-Rated Twitter Controversy, His Divorce From Tina Knowles

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Richard Lawson has outraged fans because his admiration for his ex-partner has left many social media users puzzled.

The 77-year-old actor has an eye fixed for talent and wonder, and Meagan Good is the epitome of each, or at the very least that is in accordance with a comment Lawson left on the actress’ last post.

The glamorous Good, 43, had all eyes on her when she donned a sparkling gold gown on the red carpet of the 2024 Ebony Power 100 Gala, and again when she posted pre-event footage of herself posing for the camera on the 2024 Ebony Power 100 Gala on social media. house.

The person behind the lens panned the camera from the ground to the highest of Good’s head as she served up her best glowing eye, twirled around and seductively moved forward.

Richard Lawson is known as out for appearing to “lust” his on-screen daughter Meagan. Good days after the actress revealed her engagement to Jonathan Majors. (Photos: Mrrichardlawson/Instagram; Meagangood/Instagram.)

Richard, like over 55,000 others, noticed this charming clip. In the comments he simply wrote, “MYYYYY GODDDD.”

Good was inundated with countless comments praising her appearance and congratulating her upon the news of her recent engagement to Jonathan Majors. The “Harlem” star revealed the connection news on the red carpet at an event in Los Angeles on November 17.

However, reactions to her post were tempered when Instagram blog accounts focused on Richard’s comment. Among the outraged reactions was one one who thought he was drooling on the sight of Good.

“Old men are so embarrassing,” one person said, while one other added: “She is beautiful though. However, saying it this way is a little scary.”

“This woman is the same age as your daughter,” the person wrote.

The “All My Children” veteran is the daddy of two adult children: 45-year-old daughter Bianca Lawson and son Ricky Lawson.

Someone else commented“He just played her daddy in a movie. Now that the movie is over, he’s trying to be a DADDY in real life.”

Lawson and Good starred in Tyler Perry’s “Black Divorce” this 12 months. They played father and daughter within the Netflix film, during which Good found herself in an abusive marriage after which divorced her on-camera husband, Cory Hardrict.

The project was released to the masses inside two years of Good, Richard and Hardict’s public divorces.

Lawson was previously married to Tina Knowles for eight years after they separated in July 2023. Around the time Knowles filed for divorce, Richard’s X-rated social media activity was revealed.

Twitter users got here across his liked tweets on the app, revealing that he had liked several pornographic videos and photos. A comment referring to the scandal reads: “I understand why Tina divorced him, it’s just embarrassing.”

A second comment on an analogous topic stated: “See, that was his problem on Twitter. He doesn’t know how you can lust alone.

In his defense, supporters said Richard wasn’t lying when he made the “MYYYYY GODDDD” remark.

One person wrote: “He just recognized her beauty!” Another user commented: “Richard has good taste, leave him alone, he won’t hurt anyone.”

Lawson, who also played the “For Colored Girls” playboy, sparked controversy when he wrote in 2022 that Kelly Rowland in her Catwoman latex costume was “bordering on soft porn.” He laughed indignantly when a fan jokingly suggested that Knowles desired to wear an attractive outfit.


This article was originally published on : atlantablackstar.com
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