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How Clay from ‘Love Is Blind’ became one of the most fascinating people on the reality show – Andscape

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Warning: This article comprises spoilers from season six

As a black man, watching other black men on reality shows is stressful. It’s beautiful when black men come on these shows and display emotional intelligence and true, real love and look after black women. Yet often these men emerge bringing with them their very own brand of colorism and misogyny. , the sixth season of the Netflix dating series wherein strangers propose to one another unnoticed, is full of problematic Black men, in addition to just a few people who give us hope.

Clay Gravesande, one of this season’s heroes, started off as a stereotypically troublesome one-dimensional character. But as the season progressed, it became one of the most complicated depictions of black masculinity, generational trauma and inner turmoil in the history of reality television.

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Clay began the season as an easily identifiable villain. When we meet him, he tells his potential partner, Amber Desiree Smith (aka AD), that he won’t select a girl unless he knows what she looks like. “I just have to be attracted to you,” Clay explained. “My favorite attribute is the mouth, the ass and so on. This sounds shallow, but when I’m going to propose to you, I want to know what your best qualities are.

Eventually, AD and Clay get engaged in the pod before going on vacation to the Dominican Republic, after which return home to seek out out in the event that they wish to get married in just a few weeks. He spent these weeks with Clay, exploring his pathology, fears and doubts about marriage.

His problematic comments continued, namely when he told AD that he would not let her gain an excessive amount of weight because he would tell her to “go to the f***ing gym.” He even went so far as to say that he would force her to exercise while she was pregnant. Seeing this, I rolled my eyes, once more frustrated that we had one other black man on a reality dating show who was prepared to mistreat a black woman.

However, as the season progressed, Clay began to debate deeper issues in his life. We learn that a significant role in his uncertainty about marriage was played by his father, whom he greatly admires. Clay described his dad several times as a suave womanizer. We later learn that Clay’s parents, Trevor and Margarita, have been married for over twenty years and that his father has been unfaithful for most of that point. According to Clay, when he was cheating on his mother as a toddler, his dad would take him on “high treason trips.” And Clay’s issues along with his father have coloured his relationship with AD – a lot in order that he talks about how frightened he’s about his marriage failing at every turn. Most of their scenes together revolve around Clay’s fears of infidelity and his readiness to be a husband.

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While Clay struggles along with his own internal struggles about marriage, he always affirms how AD helps him and “checks” him when he’s flawed. Throughout their relationship, AD showed great patience and at all times assured Clay that he would give you the chance to see their relationship through to the end. However, the series doesn’t show exactly what Clay does for AD, although we do see him taking her on a romantic date just a few days before their wedding. The classic “Black woman builds up black man with nothing in return” scenario plays out on screen. The drama had me screaming at the screen for AD to see the red flags and leave Clay alone before she was doomed to a long time of basking in a person who had nothing to supply her. As time passes, it seems inevitable that this shall be their fate.

Of course, they each reach the season finale, where they prepare for the wedding and choose at the altar whether or not they really need to get married. But before the ceremony begins, Clay’s dad visits. Their dynamics are immediately visible. Clay’s face lights up as soon as he sees Trevor, who wastes no time telling Clay – and subsequently the audience – about his athletic prowess as a toddler and the way he almost made it to the Olympics. During the conversation, Clay transforms back into a toddler and seeks his father’s acceptance of his decision and where he’s.

The period leading as much as the wedding makes Clay’s decision seem a foregone conclusion. Before that, he celebrates along with his brothers and friends. He never mentions any hesitation. And he smiles as the ceremony begins, even reciting the vows – for instance: “I want to thank you for your patience” – mainly for what AD is doing for him. Everything indicates that they may each say “yes”.

But things aren’t going so easily.

AD said, “Yes.” Clay, nevertheless, shockingly replies no. “I don’t think I have an obligation to say yes,” he tells her. “I still need a job. I still have to get to the point where I’m 100%… I know I’m not fully ready for marriage and you deserve the best.”

I could not imagine it. Neither could social media viewers. At first I used to be outraged by AD.

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How dare Clay refuse a girl who has done a lot for him and been so patient? However, the longer this episode went on, the more I noticed something: Clay’s rejection of AD is the first time we see him show her true love, one that puts her first, whether or not that was his actual intention. or not.

Everything Clay said at the altar was absolutely right. He wasn’t able to marry AD. He wasn’t ready to present her every thing he had. The vow he made to her before saying no was proof. Clay was capable of marry AD and see his life greatly improve by being with a girl who was willing to assist him grow. Most men simply resolve on this kind of marriage, desirous to profit from the fruits of a girl’s exertions and “build” them. Clay – in a moment that was somewhere between panic, uncertainty, and selfless love – had spared AD a few years of falling right into a man who wasn’t able to pour anything into her.

Clay’s rejection of AD was one of those unforgettable reality show twists. But a later scene turned the entire episode into something we rarely see on TV, in real life or anywhere else.

While AD and Clay cope with the consequences of his decisions, his parents must reckon with what they only saw. Their conversation is transformative, they usually discuss how the consequences of their marriage and divorce impacted Clay’s entire life. Margarita adamantly demands that Trevor have a serious talk with Clay in order that he doesn’t carry his shame and fears into his future relationships.

At that moment, the cameras captured an actual moment that I can not stop desirous about. While talking to his ex-wife, Trevor pauses, rubs his nose, and chokes just a little. As he does so, the camera focuses on Margarita, who’s taking a look at him with pure frustration on her face, and she or he slowly rolls her eyes internally. Margarita knows what’s coming. She’s seen it for over twenty years and is prepared for what comes next: “I never had the best role models,” Trevor explains, launching right into a monologue about how his father passed on his trauma to him. Margarita’s response was so real for anyone who has needed to live with explanations (and excuses) that do not take much work to heal and evolve. This is very true for black women who’ve needed to endure marriages like hers.

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After Margarita cuts off Trevor’s excuses, the most necessary exchange yet occurs.

“Tell him to meet someone like his mom,” Trevor says with a smirk, as if his light-hearted moment would lighten the conversation.

“Yes, but you met me,” she tells him. “But you weren’t good to me.”

This word. Declaration. A requirement that he also acknowledge the pain he feels again after hearing about Trevor’s “infidelity trips” with Clay. It’s a refusal to capitulate to Trevor’s charming gaslighting. And it’s a cry for help for a suffering son.

The scene seemed too deep for something as boring as a reality show, nevertheless it’s also the type of scene that cannot be written. For a black woman to truthfully come to terms together with her ex-husband who has abused her for a long time and be heard seems like a pivotal and cathartic moment.

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Clay’s rejection of AD probably means they will not have the conversation his parents just had. But it frees AD to seek out someone higher, worthy of her kindness and who will give it back to her.

At the end of the episode, AD is devastated and asks herself why men often leave relationships in a greater situation after experiencing her love, but she is left with nothing. I hope he sees Clay’s decision as a likelihood to alter that. I hope she will look back on their last moment together after being rejected, with Clay still attempting to get emotional support and affection from her without offering any comfort in return. I hope this reveals that men like him won’t ever be there for her.

Which brings me back to Clay. The last time we saw him, he was sad, ashamed and unsure of his decision. He looked shocked and walked away along with his head down. I do not know what’s next for Clay. I do not know if it can ever change. He has a lot pain and generational trauma to cope with.

And he must consult with his dad.

Upon first viewing, it is easy to see Clay as just one other troubled and problematic man in a history of problematic brothers on reality dating shows. But this season showed us quite a bit of what got him up to now in his life in a raw, unfiltered way that we just don’t often see in entertainment. Whatever happens next, Clay Gravesande shall be one of the most talked about characters we have seen on reality TV.

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DavidDennis Jr. is a senior author at Andscape and winner of the American Mosaic Journalism Prize. His book titled The Movement Made Us shall be released in 2022. David is a graduate of Davidson College.

This article was originally published on : andscape.com
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The Spelman College competition is now the latest Tiktok madness

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TikTok, Spelman, pagents


There is spring in HBCUS throughout the country, which suggests that the competition season is right. This 12 months, the Spelman College competitions have gained a brand new audience in Tiktok as a consequence of the players’ viral movies.

The competitors presented their beauty and brains in the social application and attracted latest viewers outside traditional circles. While the Miss Spelman College competition won’t announce the winners until April 14, latest fans wrote about their favorites once they immersed in the competition.

Participants became popular for his or her excellent introduction, showing their abilities to the crown. Various competitions happen throughout the school, including Miss Black and Gold and Miss Africanidad competitions.

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“Your search for the queen is officially completed,” said player No. 4, Aziyah, a younger specialist in political sciences from Atlanta. “Because, like my institution, I start without any.”

Player No. 6 was also his own case for the Crown.

“Slow and stable, this is how queen arise,” said Madison, an English major from the third 12 months in HBCU All-Women. “So I waited patiently, but it’s my moment in the end. Oh, and trust me, I’m going to have it.”

Those who’ve never experienced the culture of HBCU competitions now taste greatness, while loving every second. One asked why public opinion would just discover about this spectacle sector.

“How should I do something,” asked the delighted Tiktker Suzanne Lambert. “And what I want to know, why no one has presented it yet?”

She added: “This is my version of March Madness now.”

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Another user has spoiled, as “encouraging” is content because he promotes black perfection.

“This competition revealing” school stunning “in the best possible way. If you know you know, “said the Couture Couture Tiktker.” And all the energy that I spent on the bama rush and breaking it should be spent on this competition. “

The enthusiasm of competitions for Tiktok is much like the previous trend “Bama Rush”, during which incoming student student girls detailed their journeys to affix the brotherhood. Now the headlight light applies to those HBCU women once they race against the crown, while paying national attention.

(Tagstotransate) Miss Spelman College (T) Spelman College (T) Tiktok (T) HBCU Pageants (T) HBCU CULTY

This article was originally published on : www.blackenterprise.com
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Own #syn son brings black mother to dating drama – literally – essence

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Thanks to the kindness of Warner Bros. Discovery

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Finding love is one. This is one other thing to do it with watching mom. From the subsequent room. OWNThe latest reality series, accepts Hashtag viral They are once celebrated black women showing an actual, intentional romance and turns it right into a full dating experiment-with only his own accent. The program premiered on Saturday, April 12, and follows three successful black men searching for love – with a really stubborn mother (or mother), who goals to go. Not figuratively. Literally. They are at home. Sitting on dates, offering unmistakable comments and, yes, sometimes throwing the entire key in a beginner connection – all within the name of affection and heritage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7X0xK92CQ

One of the bachelor in the guts of this journey is James Hatchett, a 29-yr-old cyber security engineer with the energy of somebody who’s all the time five steps-and this also applies to his love life. “I always think about things and leads forward,” says James. “It’s just me. I am a person thinking about the future. You even know … If things become serious, I will start to wonder what your name is my name, a kind of things. So I definitely think about the future when it comes to relationships.” At the identical time, James is rooted in the current – he doesn’t waste time for vibrations that don’t equalize. “If I don’t see things that work as in the future, I will cut it out there.”

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Own #Syn son brings black mother to dating drama - literally
James Hatchett and Charlease Hatchett accept Daters within the lounge

This sort of brightness can have something to do with a girl who raised him. His mother, Charlease – Aka Charlie – shouldn’t be only present within the series; She is strength. And she has a transparent vision of a partner that her son deserves: “To be honest, honesty is crucial. Based on faith is the first. The family is really crucial,” he says. “Many people say:” Well, you do not marry their families. ” I’m begging you.

But her presence within the series is that it’s about matches – it is also about evolution. For Charlie, this experience became the moment of settlement, a reminder that parenthood is its own love story, filled with chapters of edition and reality.

He remembers the way it was to bring James to the world – after which she had to leave him within the hospital because of significant heart complications. This early separation shaped her protection, she says, although she understood the difference between protection and control. “You parents are different when they are young when they are in high school … and then you have to change,” he wonders. “Now that he is 30 years old, I just try to keep faithful to what I know. If I see red flags, I talk about them – but in a way that is not confrontational. He sits down and talk. And surprising, he received a lot.”

One of its theme rules? Communication. “I deliberately did not want to raise a male child who did not know how to communicate,” he adds. “Because the lack of communication kills everything.”

For James, being was not nearly finding love – it was also a chance to understand his mother’s perspective on real -time relationships. “I think that with my mother practically dating these women, when I date them, I could see how, when these women begin to open up and reveal things about myself, my mother processes it” – she shares. “She comments on these things and it allowed me to understand how her thought process is going. I am at home with her, I live through her and start seeing how she creates her perception of people.”

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James was not all the time easy to reconcile the comments of his mother together with his own feelings. “He has his opinions, about which he talks to my dad or something, and then draws his conclusions. And I will say:” Where does it come from? “In fact he is a very honest person. When he comes to it, he wants the best for me, but at the end of the day he wants to protect me. And I appreciate it.”

Throughout the season, he bends into the strain between generational expectations and modern dates. These women don’t need to be chosen. They also select. The series shouldn’t be only the matchmaker game; It distinguishes what happens when women-women and daters-are under one roof.

And it is not just James. Each bachelor brings its own story, its own luggage and its own version of what black love should appear like. Joshua, a 28-yr-old NFL agent, brought up by Aunt Ome, a nurse who played her mother for many of her life. He is in search of a girl who has equal ambitions and coldness – his equilibrium version. 30 -year -old Chadd, financial analyst with SEC references and a prayer list. His mother Katina, a cosmetologist and minister joins him. Together they’re in search of a girl who is prepared to construct each a house and heritage. But whatever the path, the essential message is obvious: it is not nearly chemistry – it’s about compatibility, belief and whether you might be ready for a sort of relationship that asks you to develop, and not only appear.

It stands out, as he treats black love not as a spectacle, but as a holy process-man, multi-layered and deeply common. He asks questions which can be rarely posted publicly, especially black men: what do you actually need? Who taught you ways to love you? Are you ready for the kind of relationship that occupies the village?

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There will probably be moments of awkwardness. There will probably be motherly side eyes. There could also be even a couple of tears. But at its foundation is a vacation of affection that requires work, intentions and all hearts.

Saturday evenings just happened.

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This article was originally published on : www.essence.com
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The dramatic metamor of Arnold Schwarzenegger

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One of the kids of Arnold Schwarzenegger has undergone noticeable body transformation over the past few years.

The 77-year-old actor began 4 children together with his ex-wife, Maria Shriver: Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt born in 1989, Christina Schwarzenegger born in 1991, Patrick Schwarzenegger born in 1993, and Christopher Schwarzenegger born in 1997.

Arnold also began the fifth child, Joseph Baen, together with his housewife. Baena was also born in 1997 in the course of the 25-year marriage of the previous Republican Governor of California.

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A number of days after the celebration of the National Day of Siblings on April 10, online fans still appear to talk concerning the oldest photo, Katherine, shared about herself, Christina, Patrick and Christopher on her verified Instagram account.

Most often he noticed that Christopher’s dramatic weight reduction was after the beginning of Fitness five years ago, in accordance with Daily Mail.

Arnold praised his son for obtaining a diploma at studies at Michigan on Instagram on Instagram 2020, which contained a photograph of psychology psychology before he dropped a major number of kilos.

“Christopher, you are a master and I love you. I know that your completion of Michigan was not a great holiday you dreamed of for years,” Arnold wrote In the social media application.

He continued: “But crossing the stage is not what makes me so proud of you: it’s your compassion, hard work, your vision, your critical thinking and selflessness make me burst with pride. I can’t wait to watch how you climb and success.”

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(L) Christopher seen on August 7, 2019 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo BG004/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images) (R) Christopher Schwarzenegger, for the premiere of season 3 Los Angeles “The White Lotus”, which took place at Paramount Studios on February 10, 2025 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo of Michael Buckner/Variety via Getty Images)

Christopher’s twenty fourth birthday in September 2021 Instagram signature. The motion movies icon emphasized that Chris is taking boxing, weightlifting, stretching and cycling.

In August 2023, Paparazzi caught Chris in a slimer frame during his hometown in Los Angeles. Usually a personal Hollywood Scion shocked observers with its slimmed figure.

#Nationalsiblingday’s image of Christopher on the web site of his sister Katherine on Instagram last week led to quite a few comments on a few years of changes in his body structure.

“Looks great, no matter how he lost weight !! handsome,” wrote the reader Daily Mail within the comments section in the shop. The second person said: “He doesn’t even look like the same person. Amazing.”

“He looked unhealthy. I am glad that he had lost some weight. A convenient lifestyle can make someone lazy and fat,” he suggested one other person. And the commentator noticed: “Now it looks amazing.”

While Chris remained within the highlight, his 4 siblings accepted being public. Patrick won a groundbreaking acting role within the third season of HBO “The White Lotus” Series of murder murders.

Katherine is the writer of kid’s books “Good Night, Sister” and “Maverick and Me”, in addition to the book “The Gift of Scority”. Like her mother, Katherine married the actor. She married the star of “Guardians of the Galaxy” Chris Pratt in 2018.

Christina produced an hourly Netflix document “Take Your Pills”, which included students and dealing adults who use hyperactivity disorders with Adderall’s attention deficit.

Christopher’s half -brother, Joseph, followed his dad, became a bodybuilder and actor. He entered the world of reality television, competing within the thirty first season of “Dancing with the Stars”.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjoz-vtwgiw

(Tagstranslate) Arnold Schwarzenegger (T) Maria Shriver

This article was originally published on : atlantablackstar.com
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