Lifestyle
Fear of sitting in crowded, black spaces
There are two types of black people in the world: 1.) those that can walk right into a church on Easter Sunday, “sit” the highest five seats, and take a look at the ushers to just accept that those seats are taken; or 2.) me.
I’m the kind of person, and I represent the kind of black people, who hate being asked to sit down anywhere. I almost never feel anxious in public and I’m rarely nervous or concerned about who’s around me. But after I am in a public place and someone who just isn’t there and is not going to be there for some time asks me to sit down, I get anxious. I sweat. I stress. I fade quickly after which hand over. I don’t like to sit down for other people and I don’t ask people to sit down for me. I don’t prefer to put my burdens on the riverbank of the one who was on time.
But unfortunately, in the black community, “holding seats” is a thing—a sport, even. I’ve seen (and I mean this with dead seriousness; “without a hat,” as the children would say) an elderly black woman tell an usher in church that she was holding seats, and get mad on the ushers who suggested she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t consider they thought she couldn’t hold a row of seats, and so they couldn’t consider she couldn’t consider she couldn’t do it. Oh, what a tangled web we weave. My wife is one of those individuals who will hold all of the requested seats and risk a public demonstration of “Who’s going to break first, loudly?” over said seats. She’ll even be very mad at me after I can’t do it. Marriage, right?
If I’ll, I would really like to share with you all a recent experience I had attempting to get a seat that not only threw me out of the constructing, but threw me into an overcrowded room where I could now not see anything on account of the stress of attempting to get a seat for somebody. Also, as you may see, I failed this task with flying colours.
Just a few weeks ago, a famous friend of mine was giving a speak about books at a famous Washington landmark. I had been to that bookstore before—persistently—and had attended many of that friend’s talks. A math problem was about to pop into my head; there was absolutely no way that store could accommodate the number of individuals who would show up for that talk. Spoiler alert: I used to be right.
Lifestyle
Since I consider myself a forward-thinking person, I anticipated this math problem and got to the shop early enough to get a seat, but late enough to get one of, for example, three remaining seats. Many people should have been pondering the identical thing I used to be occupied with math, not math, given the space constraints of the shop. Anyway, I went in and sat down on a stool, then watched the parade of people, mostly black, who got here in after me, attempting to determine where to sit down. As an increasing number of people, especially older blacks, entered, I prepared to present up my seat and use my younger legs to face for your entire show.
And then I got a text from a friend asking me to avoid wasting a spot for her. Now that friend cannot stand for long, I had to avoid wasting her a spot (which I used to be already willing to present up) or we’d have to depart together; that wasn’t an option; we were there to see our friend be amazing and do her own thing.
But here’s the issue: My friend who asked for a seat was a minimum of quarter-hour away, and the stream of people coming in was growing. On top of that, my seat was in the aisle where people were coming in, which meant that everybody, including women who looked like my grandmother, could see that I used to be NOT giving up my seat. I looked like a young kid on a subway automotive not giving up her seat to seniors or pregnant women. The thing is, I knew why I wasn’t getting up, but they didn’t, and I couldn’t look my grandmother in the face and say, “Hey, I would give up my seat for you, but I would save it for a woman younger than you but older than me who potentially has a leg problem and wouldn’t care if you didn’t get it.” No one asked, they simply watched.
I used to be sweating an increasing number of with every passing minute and an increasing number of people were observing me. I do not know if that truly happened or not but that is the way it felt and I felt uncomfortable and judged. I used to be texting my mate with my ETA and he kept saying “I’ll be there in 5 minutes” for over 5 minutes. I let her know I didn’t think I could sit any longer because I used to be beginning to seem like I hadn’t been raised properly.
Then the book event organizer took the microphone and identified that there have been issues with the seating and that those of us who could should hand over our seats to those that were older than us or might need to sit down down, and I felt like she was talking on to me when she said that. She mentioned the overflow situation outside on the back patio instead for all of us who either needed a seat or had to present up our seats. At this point, my stress and anxiety were at their peak; my heart was beating fast and my palms were sweaty. I could not take it anymore. I stood up from my seat and without anyone, said, “The seat is free,” and quickly ran to the overflow spot while texting my friend that I could not hold on to my seat any longer.
It’s been weeks since that night and I still remember how I felt attempting to keep the place going. I felt really uncomfortable and I knew my wife could be high quality. Oh, and concerning the overbooking situation – it was awful. The place had no idea what they were doing and arrange a projector TV during sunset so nobody could see what was happening. Cool idea, terrible execution, but a minimum of I wasn’t stressed anymore. I used to be briefly annoyed that the place hadn’t thought to order a bigger space for the lecture considering who that they had brought, but that is in the past now.
Now it’s OK; thanks for asking. But one thing is obviously, and two things are obviously: next time I’m going right into a place that I do know can be crowded, I’ll just skip the entire sitting thing and prepare to face in the front, back, or side. Sure, my back might hurt and my legs might ache, but a minimum of I won’t feel stressed or judged.
If you’ve gotten a friend who cannot hold seats, please don’t force them to. It’s an excessive amount of.
Thank you for coming to my talk in Panama.
Lifestyle
After second defeat for Model of the Year, Anok Yai tells British Fashion Council: ‘I don’t want it anymore’, sparking debate
When Anok Yai was photographed in “The Yard” at Howard University’s 2017 homecoming ceremony, a fashion star was born. After agents began clamoring to find the identity of the then 19-year-old beauty and competing to sign her, Yai became a global sensation; inside the first six months of her profession, she became the first Sudanese model and the second black model, after Naomi Campbell, to open a Prada fashion show. In the seven years since then, covers and accolades have flown steadily, including her first American Vogue cover in 2020, which led to Yai being hailed as one of this generation’s “best.”New supers” — as in supermodels — via Models.com, who awarded her the title of “Model of the Year – Woman” in 2023.
Although Yai has enjoyed success on runways around the world, one accolade has eluded her, and now she says she now not wants it. On Monday as host of the British Fashion Council Fashion Awards 2024Yai was nominated again for the council’s Model of the Year award, her second nomination in as a few years. This is the second time Yai has been omitted from this honor, which recognizes “the global influence of a model who has dominated the industry over the past 12 months,” the organization explains. “With influence that extends beyond the runway, the Model of the Year has made an outstanding contribution to the industry, earning numerous editorial and advertising campaigns throughout the year.”
After losing in 2023 to Paloma Elsesser, the first full-size model to win the award, this 12 months the honor once more passed to Alex Consani, the first transgender winner in the award’s history. Heartily congratulating my friend and colleague from the industry on her groundbreaking achievement partially decided by audience votesYai didn’t hassle hiding her disappointment.
“Alex, I love you and I’m so proud of you,” she wrote X, early Tuesday morningadding: “British Fashion Council, thank you, but I don’t want it anymore.”
How Some she accused Yai of having sour grapes over her subsequent losses, others, etc Teen Vogue editor Aiyana Ishmael, they argue that the model’s disillusionment and self-defense should simply be considered a mirrored image of her humanity.
“When we ask ourselves why we want Yai to accept her loss calmly, we must also ask ourselves if this is a response to society’s expectations for Black women,” Ishmael wrote, quoting writer and executive coach Janice Sutherland comment on stereotypes that deal with the “perceived strength and resilience” of Black women. “While these characteristics are undoubtedly empowering, they should not be used as a reason to deny Black women space to express vulnerability, pursue changing aspirations, or seek the support they need without judgment,” notes Sutherland.
“I remember in 2019 when a photographer called me a cockroach,” she said already deleted thread on X. Feeling unable to react while others on set treated the insult as a joke, Yai recalled feeling as if “I can not react the way I want because ultimately I’m young, I’m alone, I’m black… whatever I do , will impact me, my family and other black models.”
With this in mind, Yai’s disappointment at not being recognized for her achievements can simply be taken literally, relatively than interpreted as an try and undermine the achievements of Consani, the winner of Model of the Year. Yai said the same thing second postwriting: “If you saw the effort Alex put in; You’ll understand how proud I’m of her. But Alex may be proud and I may be exhausted at the same time. “It doesn’t diminish how much we love each other.”
As a member of a marginalized community, Consani undoubtedly empathizes. Actually, she she used her acceptance speech on Monday night to thank “black trans women who have truly fought for the space I am in today” and to thank “Dominique Jackson, Connie Fleming, Aaron Rose Phillips and many others” for enabling her own rise in the industry.
“Now, more than ever, there needs to be an important conversation about how to truly support and uplift each other in this industry, especially those who have been treated as nonessential,” Consani continued. “Because change is more than possible, it is necessary.”
Change is slowly but surely happening, as evidenced by the strong black representation amongst this 12 months’s Fashion Award winners. Winning designers included Grace Wales Bonner (British menswear designer) and Priya Ahluwalia (New establishment menswear), while special awards went to A$AP Rocky (BFC cultural innovator) and Issa Rae (Pandora change leader). Photographer Tyler Mitchell also received recognition, winning the Isabella Blow Award for fashion creator.
As for Yai, she may now not seek approval from the British Fashion Council, but she need look no further than The Yard to search out it. The supermodel returned to the spot where she was found during Howard’s 2024 “Yardfest” Homecoming celebration, much to the delight of students in attendance.
“I’m a black trans woman and there’s not a lot of representation,” McKenzie Cooper-Moore, a junior marketing major and emerging model, told Howard’s newspaper: Hill. “She is one of the top models today, she is a black woman and she or he is uncompromisingly black. That’s really cool. I actually admire her.
Lifestyle
Prince Harry downplays divorce rumors as he discusses the public’s fascination with his marriage to Meghan Markle
Surprise – Meghan Markle and Prince Harry usually are not attached at the hip. Recently, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have made separate public appearances.
This week, Markle made a rare solo appearance at the Paley Honors fall gala in Los Angeles to support the godfather of the couple’s daughter, Princess Lilibet, Tyler Perry, who was honored that evening. Meanwhile, on the East Coast, Prince Harry appeared at the New York Times’ DealBook Summit 2024, where he spoke about his fascination with the society surrounding his relationship.
During the conversation, moderator Andrew Ross Sorkin asked Prince Harry how he deals with the constant attention on every thing he and his wife do, noting that articles about the couple’s separate appearances on each coasts have been circulating throughout the Internet.
“Is this normal for you? When the article comes out – she’s in California, you’re in New York – they say, “Well, what’s going on with these two, right?” In a way, is it good that he is so interested in you?” – Sorkin asked.
“No, this is certainly not a great thing. Apparently we now have bought or moved home 10 (or) 12 times. Apparently we have been divorced perhaps 10 (or) 12 times. So it’s just an issue of, “What?” – Prince Harry replied, laughing.
As the youngest child of Princess Diana and King Charles, the Duke of Sussex is not any stranger to life in the highlight. Having seen how the excessive media attention directly affected his mother and even played a task in her death in 1997, Prince Harry noticed how life in the public eye modified his relationship with the press.
“I have been experiencing something of life since I was a child. I have seen stories written about me that were not entirely based on reality. I saw stories about my family members, friends, strangers and all sorts of people,” he explained. “And I think when you grow up in that environment, you start to question the validity of the information, but also what other people think about it and how dangerous it can be over time.”
Ultimately, Prince Harry said he ignores false narratives online because he expects the media and social media trolls to twist and twist his words at any time.
I feel sorry for the trolls the most,” he continued. “Their hopes just get built and built they usually say, ‘Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,’ after which it doesn’t occur. That’s why I feel sorry for them. Really.
“The Duke and Duchess have now developed as individuals – not just as a couple,” a royal source explained. according to People magazine. “The Duke seems focused on his patronage work and the Duchess seems focused on her entrepreneurship.”
Lifestyle
Nia Long and Larenz Tate Have the ‘Love Jones’ Reunion We’ve Been Waiting For, But There’s an Elephant in the Room
Those of us who’ve been waiting to seek out out whether Nina Mosley and Darius Lovehall, the black and sexy leads of the 1997 cult romantic comedy “Love Jones,” ended up together will finally get our wish this holiday season. Leading actors Nia Long and Larenz Tate – still black and still hot, we’d add – teamed up for Walmart’s “Love Jones”-themed holiday ad, featuring variations Dionne Farris’ now iconic song “Hopeless” as the opening soundtrack.
In the Walmart Holiday x Love Jones spot titled “Give a Gift That Shows You Get It,” the gift-giving begins early when Nina (Nia) finds a Walmart box on the steps of her house and unwraps it to seek out a record player. Confirming that the gift is indeed from him, Darius (Larenz) repeats certainly one of his lines from the hit movie in which he asks, “Do you mind if I play something for you?”
Whether the poet Darius (Larenz) remains to be attempting to be “the blue in (Nina’s) left thigh… trying to become the funk in (her) right” stays unknown, but nostalgia hits when the two start dancing to the Isley Brothers classic: ” Stay in the groove with you, part 1.” To ensure this moment doesn’t go undocumented, a young woman, presumably the daughter of the fictional couple, appears at the door to capture the moment on camera, clearly taking a cue from her photographer mother, Nina. It’s an uplifting return to a black cinema classic that a lot of us would love to revisit in the era of sequels.
That said, the elephant in the otherwise romantic room is Walmart. The big-box retailer dampened a number of holiday spirit this yr with its post-election announcement that it was “phasing out” most of its DEI initiatives, which is essentially being interpreted as a preview of comparable industry policies to return under the incoming Trump administration. Among the now abandoned initiatives are a $100 million racial equity center launched in 2020 in response to the police killing of George Floyd, in addition to prioritizing 51% of BIPOC, LGBTQ, veterans and women products. – reported the Houston Herald..
“It’s after the DEI programs end that the marketing department will definitely (know) how to change the narrative,” commented one YouTube viewer. “This ad won’t let me forget that Walmart discontinued all DEI efforts,” one other commenter said.
Walmart clearly still sees value in attracting black consumers, as evidenced by the Gen X-friendly spot starring Tate and Long (notably, the spot was produced likely months before the election and subsequent DEI rollback). The company was sensible to think about our annual purchasing power it’s estimated to eclipse $1 trillion by 2030, in response to McKinsey & Co.
“Serving Black consumers can help brands better serve customers, especially as the country’s increasingly diverse demographics continue to grow,” said Shelley Stewart III, McKinsey senior partner and global leader for repute and engagement.
To that end, while many viewers welcome the return of Darius and Nina (some have even called for an official, if long overdue, sequel), the dichotomy between promotion and Walmart practice has not gone unnoticed.
“Walmart needs to rethink its DEI policies,” a YouTube commentator said. “We play it in our faces, using characters and actors we love!”
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