I grew up as a military brat in the 80s and 90s, attending schools on bases in Frankfurt, Germany from grades 1 to eight. My friends and I’d go to school in Germany during the year, then return to the United States for summers, staying with relatives around the country. Since this was a time before the web or social media was widely used, I didn’t check with any of my friends until we returned to Germany for faculty.

While I am unable to say I spent a whole lot of time interested by whether or not my friends could be there on the first day of school, I actually have to confess that I felt just a little sad after I returned for the first day of school and discovered that a certain friend (or friends) had stayed back in the States, because I normally never saw that person again. You get used to that as a military kid; your friends is likely to be there one year after which gone the next, because their parents were stationed some other place or decided to let their kids stick with relatives for the school year, wherever home was in the States.

But like I said, as a military kid in the 80s and 90s, I got used to it. It didn’t make it any less painful, because I had no way of finding them generally, however it was an comprehensible a part of military life. As an adult, I began Googling the names of high school friends, especially, and I used to be in a position to find and reconnect with just a few — and unfortunately, I discovered that just a few of my childhood friends had passed away. It’s natural to miss your friends when you will have real bonds and made real, core memories, especially whenever you’re just a little kid.

That’s all I could take into consideration this morning as my 9-year-old began a brand new school year as a fourth grader. He’s a tremendous kid. He’s an amazing soccer player, smart, funny, and if he knows you and trusts you, he’ll provide you with every a part of himself. His little friends are the same. He has a bunch of friends who’ve been together since kindergarten (most of them). Because of the way his school works, they’ve all been in the same class since kindergarten, so the bonds and relationships are real and real. They’re… buddies.

This year, in my son’s fourth grade, his three closest friends—his buddies—are all going to different schools. And after I say different schools, I mean all 4 kids at the moment are going to different schools. When you reside in an area with as many good schools as we’ve got in Washington, you are always having to make decisions about the best decisions on your kids’ education. Sometimes meaning enrolling your kids in several schools.

Lifestyle

As you may imagine, my son wasn’t looking forward to this school year in the same way. He knew two of his friends weren’t coming back; one discovered on the first day of school. When we took him to school that first day, we could tell he was…alone. That’s to not say he didn’t produce other friends in his class—he did. But there was something about those buddies. Even though he knew two of them weren’t coming back, the realization of standing in line at school, alone but in a bunch, seemed depressing. He tried to smile. He tried to be completely happy, but I believe he kept looking around, hoping that what he knew to be true wasn’t true.

I feel for him. I know the way much fun I had going to school with my crew. We may not have been in the same classes, but we had time in between classes and before and after school to hang around and construct our world. I do know what it’s like when one or two friends aren’t coming back, but when all of my closest friends aren’t, it’s hard. I cried after I graduated because my very adult friends were presupposed to be elsewhere — and that was me as an adult, and I had the ability to process my feelings and the means to see my friends when time allowed. My son and his friends must depend on us as parents to search out a strategy to ensure that they’re still friends. Sure, due to iPads and games like Roblox, they still check with one another, but my kids can’t even use their iPads during the week; their relationships will probably be largely limited to once they’re home on the weekends.

I told my wife, who was understandably very emotional about our son’s latest life in elementary school without his friends, that we would have liked to ensure that we saw them as often as possible and remind him that his friends didn’t leave, they only weren’t at the same school. We also needed to remind him that he still had friends at school, even in the event that they weren’t his core group. Still, I understand her emotional response. Honestly, it’s just a little heartbreaking. You want your kids to be okay, and you wish them to return to school on their first day and be enthusiastic about what’s ahead. You definitely don’t need them to begin the school year sad.

I also needed to remind my wife that a year ago we were parents trying to make your mind up whether to enroll our youngsters in a special school, and although we ultimately decided to remain, we were seriously considering changing schools. We were essentially considering creating the same situation for our youngsters in a brand new school for our very personal reasons.

I’m sure my son will probably be tremendous; he knows all his classmates and I’m sure that after this latest thing is out, all the pieces will probably be tremendous. As a parent, I am unable to help but wonder how he feels and what he means by saying the things he doesn’t. I would like my son to be tremendous because that is the most significant thing.

Now, if you happen to don’t mind, let me take a take a look at this crazy school and soccer schedule and see when these kids can get together in order that they can come back like they never left.