Health and Wellness
Have you heard of a haunting? This dating trend justifies blocking your ex
Getty
We’re aware of the terms “ghost” and “ghostlight,” and now the dating trend “haunting” has emerged within the chat. “Haunting” is a dating trend emerging on social media that describes an ex from a previous relationship who continues to interact on social media even after you have decided to chop off all ties (no contact or seeing one another in person).
Intrusive behaviors include liking your photos, viewing your stories, or leaving comments, which are frequently passive in nature and forestall you from feeling the necessity to respond or directly address the behavior. Basically, being haunted signifies that your ex is watching you via social media, which is the other of ghosting. But what, if anything, should you do about this sort of intrusive behavior?
Some individuals who experience hauntings decide to block their ex on social media, but… Damons Hoffmanrelationship expert and dating coach, suggests that this method could also be a little too extreme. “I believe in blocking only as a last resort. As a dating coach who focuses on communication, I prefer that my clients express themselves through words rather than letting the unsaid speak for them. However, there are situations where blocking is appropriate and necessary. Of course, if someone is threatening you or doing something inappropriate or illegal, you should block them immediately,” he says.
Hoffman continues, “Haunting is an emerging form of communication because we must remember that sometimes not saying something says a lot. When an ex haunts your social media, it can trigger feelings of nostalgia, anxiety, anger and confusion – especially if it’s someone who ended up throwing shade at you without a word or warning.”
However, if you feel uncomfortable because of the haunting, you should take these feelings into consideration and respond accordingly. “Ultimately the decision depends on how you feel about the person being haunted. Does it prevent you from further development? Does it evoke difficult emotions?” says Hoffman. “If the reply to any of these questions is yes, it is strongly recommended that you block them. However, sometimes you can discover and grow by asking the person why they might imitate you and follow you anyway. If the directness of the query turns them off, it could be a good idea to chop them out of your life (and your feed). However, in the event that they respond, you may learn something about yourself, your patterns, your attractions, and the way you might select who you will devote your time and emotional energy to in the longer term.
Relationship and intimacy expert Nikquan Lewis believes that social media is a passive but assertive form of communication and it’s as much as us to develop a “communication code of conduct” about how we wish to be “talked to” verbally or non-verbally. For some people, having their ex-partner see their story is unimportant. But for others, it could actually be frustrating, disturbing, and even very invasive, depending on how they process the tip of things and their relationship to social media.
So if your ex is haunting you, consider this query: “According to Lewis, listed here are some internal questions you should ask yourself to find out your next plan of motion:
Should you block them?
There isn’t any right or mistaken answer here – it comes right down to what’s healthiest for you. Here are some things to contemplate when deciding whether to dam:
Is your behavior stopping you from moving forward?
If seeing their name in your stories appears like a setback or stirs up emotions that make healing difficult, blocking often is the best strategy to give yourself the emotional space you need.
Was the connection unhealthy and even toxic?
If a relationship has caused you harm, blocking is usually the healthiest option. It’s not about being petty – it’s about protecting your peace of mind.
Does this affect your current relationship?
If the haunting is causing uncertainty or drama in your latest relationship, or is just plain disturbing, it might be time to attract the road and protect your peace.
Move forward with intention
Ultimately, the alternative of whether you wish to block or not is entirely as much as you. Prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being is not selfish – it’s obligatory. If a haunting brings something aside from peace to your life, trust that you can draw the road and move on.
Sometimes closing one chapter completely opens you as much as the following one. So if you’re feeling haunted, do not be afraid to reclaim your virtual space.