Thanks to the Knicks, Marc Lamont Hill will publicly admit that I’m smarter than him

A couple of hours before the start of the Knicks-76ers series, I texted Marc Lamont Hill. I asked, “Do you want to bet on this series or are you (not a real man)?” There aren’t any other options.” (We’ve been boyfriends for a very long time, so we argue with one another sometimes.) He asked, “What are the stakes?” I said, “$100 plus, go on the Internet and tell me I’m smarter than you. Not smarter than you at basketball. Just smarter than you. For some reason he decided to make a bet. Maybe I actually am smarter than him.

Hill is an avid Philadelphia sports fan. You can have seen him sitting in the front row at Sixers games. He is considered one of the most famous individuals who commonly goes to Sixers games. You might say, but wait, Hill is not that famous. You’d be right. It was a dig. Also, like Kendrick, he wears size 7 shoes. Let’s proceed.

If you might be a bettor, you like seeing people betting wholeheartedly. And should you like trolling people, there’s nothing higher than teasing a person when his team’s season is coming to an end. It hurts when your teams lose. I like to make this pain worse.

Hill hates when his teams lose. So as soon as his team gets eliminated, I show up on his phone and say some silly shit. One time, right when his team was losing, I texted, “I’m sorry for your loss.” He immediately wrote back: “You are a monster.” We are friends, I promise.

We have not bet on the Knicks and Sixers before because the Knicks have been garbage for many of the last twenty years, but we did bet on the Philadelphia Phillies vs. New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Eagles vs. New York Giants. He will bet on any team that has Philadelphia in its name. I believe I’ve probably taken a number of meals out of his kid’s mouths over the last decade. #Kanyeshrug.

Of course, we don’t place bets and remain silent. What’s so funny about that? If my white male friends and I are betting on a sporting event, I stay quiet and polite until it’s throughout. But in Hill’s case, or really any black friend’s case, if we’re betting on something, it means I’ve mainly paid for the right to troll you so long as my team wins. You cannot turn me off since you’re bored with hearing my mouth. That was the point of putting money on the line. You cannot ignore a person while you owe him money, and while you lose a bet, it’s technically the same as him owing you money. I do not make the rules.

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Considering Hill mainly owes me money, he has to listen to me tell him how bad his favorite team is and the way silly he was to bet money on it. I like this part. It’s not enough to win the bet, you furthermore may have to discover a place to tell your friend that he was an idiot for putting the bet.

Consider this essay as one other example of all this. I’m trolling Hill at the moment. On Grio.com. I tell him his team is on the brink of losing and he cannot trust the process. If you’re thinking that I’ve been disrespectful in the press, you must see what I tell him in my text messages. You know he’s a real friend when you’ll be able to talk wildly and meanly to one another and it’s all love. It’s me and Hill. My brother called me a monster and I laughed.

Either way, the Knicks are on the cusp of ending off the Sixers, and I’m here dunking on Hill. In the immortal words of Ice Cube, today is a fantastic day. The thing is, I’m not a Knicks fan. I hate their owner, James Dolan, who some people think he’s worst owner in sports. It was also called “stupidest owner in sports” I am unable to support him. There’s just one thing I’ll put aside my hatred for Dolan for, and that’s the likelihood to troll Dr. Hill. Can you think it – I’d reasonably Dolan be blissful than Hill. I hate Dolan and I like Hill, but still. True friends don’t desire the other person to be blissful in sports.

Hill will owe me $100. Please support his bookstore, Uncle Bobbyso that he has enough money to pay me.

Tonight, after the Knicks win, please go to Hill’s Instagram page and look out for the video where Hill says Touré is smarter than Hill. I do know him. He’s going to post it on his story so it goes away. All right. I will repost it on my grid. It will live there ceaselessly.