Is your boss blowing you off?

When we discuss gaslighting, which has turn out to be a buzzword on the Internet, we are sometimes talking about confronting this kind of manipulation in our romantic relationships. However, many individuals take care of gas lighting in an area that they often cannot hand over while at work. For those that have heard of gas lighting but don’t fully understand how it really works, a licensed clinical social employee Brandy Stinson says the word comes from a 1944 film during which a husband manipulates a girl into pondering she is crazy by literally lowering the gas lights of their house to make her think that certain events are a figment of her imagination. This is clearly an extreme, however the goal is consistent with the best way people practice it today: control.

“Simply put, gaslighting makes someone question their common sense and ability to reason,” says ESSENCE. “Part of what makes us human is our ability to reason and make decisions. As a results of gaslighting, the victim will literally doubt their ability to make the perfect decisions for themselves or doubt what some call their “intuition.”

“In the context of two people recalling or interpreting an event differently, you might say, ‘That’s not how I perceived the event; is different from yours and I know that your point of view is different,” he adds. “But gaslighting says, ‘The way you perceive this incident is false, you made it up and you can’t trust yourself.’ So let me tell you how this incident happened.”

This behavior is manipulative since it is predicated on the need to avoid taking responsibility for one’s behavior. You are free and clear when you take control of the situation by changing the best way the person experienced the event and forcing them to ask themselves questions.

“Gaslighting often creates anxiety in the viewer because we rely so heavily on our own intuition and decision-making to navigate the world and keep us safe,” Stinson says. “Imagine being told you couldn’t trust yourself. This could be scary!”

According to the therapist, this tactic, often used “in all forms of violence,” can be a behavior exhibited by some people in leadership roles at work. And while you can have higher luck leaving the manipulative gaslighter you’re dating, it’s much harder to go away the workplace because you’re working with him and for him. We talked to Stinson about what the gaslighting experience is like at work, what to call it, and what tools protect peace of mind within the place where we generate income.

BEING: What do you think it means to be gaslighted at work?

Brandy Stinson, LCSW: Gaslighting within the workplace often occurs when someone ready of authority causes an worker to query his or her job performance or task completion. It completely undermines an worker’s confidence and memory of their productivity or performance. Because gaslighting can often be a subtle and never overtly violent act, it is usually neglected within the workplace and an worker could also be afraid to talk up for fear of retaliation.

Can anyone do that, or only people in management positions?

Anyone can exhibit gaslighting behaviors; The secret is whether control and manipulation is the last word goal of the person. Because at the tip of the day, people in leadership positions are human, everyone seems to be vulnerable to exhibiting or succumbing to gassy behavior.

What examples within the workplace should you listen to?

This may appear like accusing an worker of not completing a task when actually they’ve accomplished it, or consistently “moving the goalpost” by asking them to finish a task but their performance isn’t “good enough”. This can even cause the worker to query each their decision-making process and their ability to do their job.

What is one of the simplest ways for the pinnacle of a gas lighting company to reply when the behavior comes from an individual in authority?

When your supervisor gaslights, it is vital to document, document, document! If a supervisor accuses an worker of failing to finish tasks, ask for the tasks to be sent by e-mail, and respond by e-mail once they’re accomplished. For telephone interviews, request an email with a summary of meeting points and decisions made through the call. Since we are actually on the planet of Microsoft Teams/Zoom meetings, you can request a recording of the meeting for future reference. The best solution to resolve a gaslighting issue is to truthfully present evidence of what was actually said/done, and reassure yourself throughout the method that you can trust yourself and that you saw and/or heard what you saw and/or heard!

And how can we, more generally, protect peace of mind at work?

We often discuss boundaries in our personal lives and private relationships; nonetheless, it’s equally vital to set boundaries within the workplace. This doesn’t suggest refusing to do the work, but it surely does mean we are able to advocate for ourselves and set realistic expectations. Very often we attach our identity to what we do, and if we don’t perform well at work, our self-esteem decreases. I often suggest to my clients that they do not forget that their work is an extension of who they’re, which implies that they’re whole, talented, invaluable, etc. without their work. I feel that affirming this belief will give you the boldness to advocate for yourself in an unhealthy work environment and keep your self-esteem and identity intact.