Taniaka Ray wants black pregnant women to know all their options

When Taniak Ray first learned that she was pregnant at the tip of 2013, she was in disbelief. The host of television and podcasts has never seen motherhood for himself, focusing more on his work within the industry than on the beginning of a family.

“I never really thought I would be a mother,” Ray recalls. “I thought,” Okay, I’m knowledgeable woman. ”

“There has never been a fence of pickets, husband, child. It has never been – he adds. “My dream was to be the boss of a girl and travel world wide, have experience and give you the option to write this book once I am 60 years old. It was a goal. ”

In addition, Ray did not likely think that he might need a toddler. After greater than 20 years of contraception, she didn’t remember her life without him for thus long, she decided to quit the chosen method, because she assumed that on the age of 42 she was in light.

“God decided to do miracles,” he says.

Although it was never a part of the plan when Ray knew that she would bring life to the world, she took it very seriously. She tried a discreet in news (that’s, so long as Oprah touches her tumor on the Essence Black Women in Hollywood in 2014, spending time learning, joining with the unborn child within the womb.

“In the case of motherhood, there are so many unknowns,” he says, noting that her relationship with the kid’s father ended at the moment. “All I had to On anyone else – he says.

She had the support of a black woman Ob-Gyn, which for a while made every little thing less stressful.

“There was a connection there,” he says. “I feel that I did not have to worry that my life will be taken by irresponsible medical performance. I knew she would have my back. “

In the panties of an enormous girl, Ray was calm when she was preparing for her biggest role. And then she wasn’t. From nowhere, she got sick while pregnant and a lump formed on her neck. When she went to a specialist, she found herself in an offensive way.

“Ear, nose, throat, the doctor was a white guy. And he immediately says: “Do you’ve gotten AIDS?” I said, “What? What are you talking about? He says: “Well, your white blood cells are low.” And I say, “I don’t know.” He forced me to get the AIDS test before we went further, wondering what was on my neck. And I used to be so offended – he says. “I returned to my OB, which has nothing to do with my neck. He is the only black doctor I have. And I’m going – he asked me if I had AIDS. And she says: “What?! Wait, wait, why? I said, “White blood cells.” He says: “Honey, black people have lower white blood cells than white people.” If he were on this topic, it would not be an issue. I would not be humiliated. I would not have to go to the AIDS test. They will be so uneducated when it comes to us. “

Then within the fortieth week of pregnancy her Ob-Gyn told her that her child had to leave. She was induced and received pain for pain. Things soon became chaotic. Her delivery room was quickly stuffed with individuals who told her that the well -being of her child, her daughter, was violated due to the changing heart rate of the kid. After informing that she would have to push, the overwhelmed Ray dived and pushed her daughter in 10 minutes. The hectical scene stays together with her almost 10 years later.

“I think that if it wasn’t for my black Ob-Gyn, who managed the charge, I would be in tragic straits, because she was like a” heartbeat, something is flawed “-meets.

“For me, blood pressure has dropped, her heart rate has dropped. I didn’t know what was going on. I only knew that the people who were there did not make me feel safe – he adds. “I only know that if I wasn’t my black Ob-Gyn, I do not know if I can be here. Because I remember I heard: “You have to do it!” And she is solely a voice of reason: “Stop! Keep tight. Let me see if the child is ready. The remaining 45 people stop there to tell her the truth, this truth kept me alive and my child alive without problems. “

Ray, who’s now host of the podcast, a sanctuary for Mommy Collective, now encourages black women to pregnant in a way that’s best for them. Look for help dulas or midwives. Check if delivering at house is the correct alternative for you. Discover all options to get one of the best result.

“Of course I broke. They will sew you without numbness. It’s crazy what they do with women – he says. “When you go, you realize the way it is a barbarian and the way they’ve not modernized him. And for my part, if I had to do every little thing, I might have doula. I can be at my home. I had all the individuals who seem like me, you care about me and my offspring around me. “

In addition, she is not any longer occupied with counting on traditional medicine and hospitals to meet her needs. After her experience within the family, Ray decided to take health care in her own hands. Nowadays, he sees an Iridologist who reads the blood vessels in the attention to indicate all health problems or sensitivity. He can also be a supporter who knows his own body well.

“I feel that every time we take our medical care or health in our own hands, we save lives. And it goes for every day, “he says. “Please, women, discover other treatments outside the medical system. This is the same medical system that told you: “You do not feel pain. You are tough. You haven’t got to deal with them in a way that’s worthwhile. And so I at all times say that when you are here to be healthy, when you are a girl who wants to have her own body and have your individual health, you have to do something except what they let you know. “

“When there is something that feels unusual, examine it. Find out what the best way is to deal with it. And not always Western medical care we have in America – he adds. “As we will see, we should not a priority, so now we have to stop. If we do the identical, expecting a unique result, we’re crazy. We have to resist something else. “

He supports the way in which women resolve to deliver children and who resolve to bring them to the world. Her black Ob-Gyn modified its difference in his own situation. However, he believes that until the normal medical system would improve the methods, the expected black moms and black women need to see what else is to discover what will likely be best.

“When you rely on other people to tell you what is best, it’s terrifying, it’s dangerous. You put your life in the hands of other people – he says. “Of course, study, research, education, really have a powerful relationship with yourself to know when it is vitally dangerous, and you would like to search for an authority and when it is feasible to master and it’s a matter of eating something different, drinking more water, saving saving saving , saving, saving. “

“We must take over the agency for control over our bodies and the way we move in this world,” he adds. “I know that these doles and these midwives appear everywhere. And I say I hire, consult them. Check if this is a better, more reliable option for you. I really want to encourage women, do something else. I know it’s not easy. It assumes more research, time, care, but it’s worth it. “